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Printer woes………

December 2, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 16 Comments

7 sure fire ways to decipher whether or not you need a new printer:

1. The printer that you got ‘free’ with your computer now ‘feeds’ the paper in crooked and causes a paper jam with EVERY try at printing. Despite this obvious fact, you try it no less than 37 times. Crooked again……Hmmm, maybe if I just gingerly readjust the paper and try it again…..Hmmmmmm- how about if I turn the paper upside down, or get a new stack of paper all together…..or stare at it really hard…..or smack the top of it like a wayward coke machine….

Nope, still crooked.

An hour later..

…maybe now it’s had time to rethink things…..

…..sigh…..

….still crooked.

2. You ask at least 10 moms and 1 ‘computerish-looking’ guy and they all commence with their ‘printer’ stories……about how once they show the first sign of incompetence, you gotta get a new one…..’cause they’re never the same again. Wow, you people are unforgiving.

3. You are stalled from RUNNING to Office Max by one mom/adminstrative assistant/user of printers person (Denise) who asks you if you gave it a good shake?. Apparently the last time hers went on the ‘blink’ it was a piece of popcorn. Like the good technical-computer-savvy person that you are……the first chance you get, you turn it upside down and give it a good shake. This has sadly not fixed the ‘tick’ you’re printer seems to have either….and you could swear that you almost heard the thing ‘moan’ during the shake-down.

4. You just bought 2 new sets of ink for the ‘affected’ printer. Of course you need a new printer NOW.

5. The only IT person you know has had 4 printers in the last 6 years.

6. Your life as a homeschooling mom comes to a screeching halt without a printer. Your two small children are sure that it can be fixed…..even if it takes a week or so. It’ll be a sacrifice, but somehow, they’ll manage.

7. You spend no less than 2 hours ‘tinkering’ with the blasted thing. Now it makes a really sad screeching noise along with the crooked paper feed. It was broken before…..it’s in agony now.

So tell me your printer stories…….reassure me that I need a new one…..and please, make recommendations. I need to know I’m not alone……and what do ya think about the epson artisan 800……I know, I know…..it’s the one the Nester has. But it’s on BIG sale at Office Max this week.

I know there’s gonna be the one lone person out there, whose closets are clean and who never touches her paper work more than once who says, “No, I’ve had the same printer for 10 years……and ya know as long as you service it regularly and change the ^%$^%$ often and don’t let your kids touch it and keep it in a dust free, well-ventilated environment, I really don’t see why you should have trouble. ” Go ahead, declare yourself. I know your out there. Sue? Gina? LeighAnn? Don’t be shy.

*And I’ve got ink….so, if you have a Canon MP610 printer—let me know!*

Thanksgiving Prayer

November 26, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 10 Comments

from the Lutheran prayer book:

Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good and His mercy endures forever. Lord God, heavenly Father, You have created me and endowed me with all that I am or have as a pure gift of Your fatherly divine goodness and mercy, without any merit or worthiness in me. You sustain me from day to day with the gifts of daily bread in the food that I eat, the family that surrounds me, the friends I enjoy, the country where I live, and countless other benefits that I constantly receive from Your open hand. On the Day of Thanksgiving, cause me to gratefully remember the good gifts that You shower upon me. Deepen in me the knowledge of Your goodness, and awaken my heart to praise You for all of Your gifts, especially the forgiveness of sins that You have purchased and won for me and the whole world in the atoning death of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Keep me mindful of Your mercies every day, and grant that I may thank, praise, serve, and obey You not only with my lips but also with a life dedicated to the service of my neighbor. To You, O Lord, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, be all honor and glory, praise and thanksgiving, now and forever.

Amen.

Because 25 people are coming to my house hoping to EAT on Thursday……..

November 25, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 10 Comments

Two days before Thanksgiving To Do list:

1. Clean out fridge. Sounds simple enough.

2. Bake carrot cake.

3. Cook potatoes so they’re ready to mash.

4. Make broccoli casserole.

5. Continue to ‘ghetto-up’ the basement with lights and fabric so teenagers will have a retreat. Presently, it looks like a shady underground sports bar. Minus the smoke.

6. Listen to Secret Garden with the girls.

7. Crank “Stand in the Rain” by Superchick and sing along (like noone’s listening).

8. Buy more Christmas lights because whoever it is that designs/makes these little devils to only work one year is trying to ruin my life.

9. Finish assembling and decorating the ‘main tree’. A knockoff of a pottery barn special.

10. Decorate the mantel. I had to google the spelling. Apparently ‘mantle’ is part of the earths’ crust. Emme will read “Marco Polo” to me, then I’ll teach them more about homonyms…..mantle/mantel sleigh/slay cream/creme flour/flower. ( I never know when to stop.)

11. Go to Hobby Lobby to get stuff for the kids table. Resist every temptation to meander to the Christmas section. I may need a twelve step program. My husband is nodding “yes”.

12. Perform a small miracle in my laundry room which looks like 20 people just returned from a trip to China (with Marco Polo) and left their spoils here.

13. Put the wreaths on the outside of the upper windows. And re-hang the ones on the lower window which fell already.

14. Hang up the last two weeks worth of clothes that is smothering a poor stool in my closet. Fuss at my daughter for letting the clothes pile up in her room.

15. This list is not only for your entertainment…..I will refer to it multiple times today when I get sidetracked by 20 other fun and enticing projects that I have absolutely no time nor business working on today. (my sons’ graduation video, decoupaging a barn star with pictures of my kids, reading Eclipse, this list could go on forever).

16. Most importantly, thank my wonderful supportive hard-working hunk of husband who so faithfully and tirelessly goes to work everyday to make all this possible.

This kind of list does not make me sigh or feel stressed (yet). I truly feel thankful and so blessed that these are my ‘worries’ today. God has blessed us beyond measure. And today we pause……to say thank You……for every good and perfect gift……..which we know comes from You.

So what are you doing today?

Weekend in pictures…….really good Nikon d40x pictures…..I think I’m in Love…..

November 23, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 15 Comments

The view from my desk……
The view from my laundry room…..
My friend Cindy getting all my “Emme-love” at the Cross Country Banquet Friday……
Emme then decides to sit with the boys….
How does a girl find her place…..where she fits in….in a group of boys?
Arggg!! Who can figure those pesky boys out?
I see how this works…..I get you more sweet tea……you let me in on all the boy-talk….

Deal.

Caiti received her award……

Taylor received his award…..and led the group in a prayer…..

And I came home and promptly made pies.

Pecan pie….with a TURKEY on the top. Just trust me on that.

Apple pie that made my house smell delicious…..

And pumpkin pie…..embellished with the signs of fall……despite every other thing in my house that screams Christmas.

There was also plenty of decorating going on here. This tree is still a work in progress but I love the color scheme. It blends well in the girls’ room and oozes estrogen!

Oozes I tell you.

This is my favorite frame that I recently remodeled. I took those wall words off my wall and re-stuck them onto this frame. I love it. I’m kinda crazy about it. Kinda like I’m crazy about the one I’m smoochin’.

And there’s a cute tiny tree in my kitchen which I labeled “The Family Tree” that has these cute little pictures of everyone on it. It’s simple but oh so sweet.

And now it’s Sunday night and I’m trying to decide if “dinner” is gonna be chips and salsa, popcorn, or homeade fudge. What would you choose?

Fudge for me.

Important notes: Thank you to Cindy for all the hours of hard work in making the XC video so meaningful. You are so dear to me. And although we didn’t manage to get any pictures from bookclub on Friday, we had a great time at Java Garden……and I did finish the book……at 8:30 Friday morning. Also, in the interest of insuring that our bookclub members get emails and other important communication….my dear friend Leigh Ann is taking on the secretarial responsibilities. I know this is not where my gifts lie. (At least not until my new book on ADD comes).

7 quick takes……

November 21, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 10 Comments

7 Quick Takes……This is a link party…..to play along, visit here. It’s like 7 random musings…all in one post. And you’ll love snooping around Jennifer’s blog. Superb writing…..funny, smart, and I wish she were my next door neighbor. She could possibly be my new BFF (which apparently changes weekly) ’cause she has ADD.

~~~~ 1 ~~~~

I’m going to see Twilight this weekend. And Leigh Ann never shoulda told me that there was a nail polish called “Vamp”. When I watched the trailer to Twilight, I thought it was cast well. Edward is dreamy and pale and Bella is ‘dark and twisty’. I think Meridith first coined that phrase. You know…..Meredith, the surgeon from Seattle Grace. (Grey’s Anatomy). And Meredith was talking about herself. She is dark and twisty and…..tortured. High maintenace, if you will. I’m much more like Izzy. Blond, accomodating, open-like-a-book, cheerful…..without a discernable dark side. And all the dark and twisties I know are brunette. I’ve tried brunette many times, sometimes on purpose, and I don’t think it becomes me. But sometimes I wish I could do brunette….and dark and twisty. ‘Cause those kinda people are mysterious and quirky. I happen to do blond well. All blond jokes aside. Happy, helpful, and light. And of course not all brunettes have a dark side. Now that I see this picture well, I had blond highlights even as a brunette. And was still very amiable. I’m sure Bella will do dark and twisty well. I’ll have to settle for vamp nailpolish.

~~~~ 2 ~~~~

Here’s what I find curious about the purchases my recent perpetrator made with my checkcard. He (I know he’s a ‘he’ because I have a picture of him lying right here next to me….from the Walmart security camera) bought $1000 worth of merchandise that included work pants, jackets, gloves, and hand warmers. The hand warmers nearly brought a tear to my eye. Maybe he’s a workin’ man just trying to support his six stair step kids. He also bought 4 Mountain Dew cubes (24 pack) and several cartons of Camel cigarettes. And a loaf of bread. If there had been baby formula on that list…..I would have been in a full-on sobbing fit…..trying to find out where he lives so I could offer to make dinner and babysit. But there wasn’t. Steve takes one look at the list and says “He’s probably goin’ deer huntin’ this weekend. Ya know what, you’re probably right. I take back the tear.

~~~~ 3 ~~~~

I’m carrying that picture around with me everywhere…..and looking for any sign of my winter white Kenneth Cole purse, my Ipod, and my MAC angelcream lip gloss. I can spot someone wearing that lipgloss a mile away.

~~~~ 4 ~~~~

My bookclub meets tomorrow to discuss Heart of Darkness. I’m particularly thrilled about getting out of the house during homeschooling hours……and going to Java Garden. Coffee +girl time = highly caffeinated laughter + girly chit chat in which there is a 100 percent chance that sex will be mentioned. If not dwelt upon. At length.

More importantly, I haven’t finished the book and am currently blogging while I wait for Grey’s Anatomy to come on. That my friends is ADD at its finest. The book is dark and dreary and though peppered with phenomenal writing, has not held my attention well. I confess to reading Spark Notes so as to save myself from sounding like a bumbling idiot. Maybe I’ll finish it yet. Sorry to say that it depends on what wonderful distractions await to lure me in the morning. I’ve read two other books this month so I really have no excuse.

~~~~ 5 ~~~~

Because we’re friends, it’s time I came clean with you. I have sported a mullet in the past. I wanna say that if I could find a picture of it I’d show you….but there’s a chance that’s a lie. I love mullets….every last one of them. For me, seeing a good mullet has the same psychological boost as say…….buying a new tube of MAC lip gloss. My mullet days were innocent enough and really……I blame my mother. I didn’t know any better and she was a hair dresser.

I think I’m gonna find a good mullet website and order one for all the kids…..to go in their stocking. Now that sounds like a magical Christmas morning.

Business in the front. Party in the back. Like having an El Camino. For a hairstyle.

~~~~ 6 ~~~~

I should have never discovered how easy it is to change my ‘header’ on this blog. People with ADD are bored easily as you probably know……and change is like air to them…..remember that from this post? Yeah well, I’m like a kid in a Hershey’s factory. And I’ve been in the Hershey’s factory. My point is, I’ve been thinking about having a blog designer do a little work for me. I want three columns and I’m afraid to try to change it myself. But maybe that’d be wasteful since my blog is quickly becoming like my living room…..where things get redecorranged all the time. So what’s your opinion and what’s your favorite header that I’ve had…..say, in the last week?

By the way, Keli, do you have ADD? ‘Cause that blog-a-yours has had more faces than Micheal Jackson. Maybe you should look into it. And get back to me.

~~~~ 7 ~~~~

Everytime I so much as think the word diet, I become ravenous. And if I can’t find a miniature Hershey’s bar, I’m capable of crimes against humanity. And as much as I love Hershey’s miniatures, I would never. ever. not even under duress. buy a full-size candy bar. I think the last time I bought a full size candy bar, I was twelve and had a mullet and tried out for the football team. It was a year of bad judgement all around. Now, that said, I could eat a whole bag of miniatures and not so much as blink. Or feel guilty. But I don’t get people who go into convenience stores and buy candy bars. Doesn’t it seem so weak and unhealthy and……so 6th grade? But not the minis……they’re small and sleek little bursts of energy….all 37 of them. I welcome your thoughts.

hugs and blessings,

The Stages of Grief…..

November 18, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 15 Comments

Remember the Kubler-Ross ‘stages of grief’ chart from Psychology 101? Here’s what mine looks like after my purse got stolen right outta my car last night. While my car sat in my driveway.

1. Denial- “Surely noone would just come and take my purse right out of my car. And steal my ipod. And then charge $1000 at Walmart at 3:30 in the morning. Surely there’s been a mistake officer”

2. Anger “Those little thieving slimy fools…..have the nerve to drive right into my safe little sweet Mayberry neighborhood and snatch my Kenneth Cole creamy leather purse….right out of MY car….it’s MINE…..not yours……you little lying wretches (this is where cursing would come in handy)…..it’s all MINE…..the visa cards, the check cards, the ballet slippers, the 27 tubes of MAC lip gloss, the 4 packs of peanut butter crackers, the IPOD, the 2 protein bars…..ALL OF IT. GET YOUR GRUBBY LITTLE PAWS OFF.

3. Bargaining “Please Lord, if you’ll just bring these sinners to justice and somehow preserve my precious things, I’ll be more choosy about which lip gloss I buy…..I know I don’t need ALL those colors…..and I’ll be more careful. I’ll lock everything. I’ll get a security system. And turn it on. And I’ll get more organized…..so that when I need to cancel an account I can find the numbers. I’ll set up elaborate filing systems. I’ll have Sue come over and teach me. I promise Lord I’ll do better. Just please bring creamy Kenneth home safely. Please, for the love of angel cream lip gloss.”

4. Depression “I’m the most optimistic, pathetic excuse for a human being there is. That’s it. No more trusting everybody. My life will never be the same now. I’ll always be looking over my shoulder. I’ll become so paranoid that I’ll end up conjuring up some elaborate conspiracy theory about how my neighbors are all spying on me to get a glimpse at my account numbers. I’ll draw the blinds. And keep the lights off. And live the life of a secluded hermit. With dry cracked lips. In silence.

5. Acceptance “You know what, it’s just ‘stuff’. Noone got hurt and the bank’s gonna give my money back. Maybe it’s a good lesson to be more careful…..and a little less trusting. I’m just thankful for all the good gifts God has given me.”

Lest you think I’m a saint, I’m currently at step 2. I get visions of the thieves watching “Dancing with the Stars” on a new widescreen tv that I (STEVE) BOUGHT while trying to decide which of the 27 colors of lip gloss they like better. And wondering out loud why on earth someone would have 50 Cent and Allison Krause on the same IPOD or carry adult sized ballet slippers in their purse. ‘Cause I’m a dancer okay….not a thief like you.

If I could communicate with my perpetrators, I’d say this.

Play the song on my IPOD by Johnny Cash called Folsom Prison Blues…..cause that’s where you’re headed in your life if you keep this up. Oh and my IPOD has been ‘on the blink’ lately and I wouldn’t be surprised if he (his name is Jack) won’t play for you at all. He doesn’t perform well for criminals……or in the cold, or in the rain, or if you change the songs too fast and frequently. Please take care of him. He’s very special to me and always knows what song I need…when i need it. If he were here right now he’d play “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child for me.

I hope he refuses to play any song for you at all except Folsom Prison Blues…..over and over. And over. When I get to step 5, I’m sure I’ll tell you to listen to “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” and I’ll wish for your forgiveness and healing. But I’m still at step 2. So Folsom Prison Blues it is.

Is it sheer coincidence that this previously taken picture of creamy Kenneth, even when cropped to its maximum is joined on either side by a chef’s knife and the holy cross? I think not. Justice will prevail.

I will make dinner….

and He will make justice.

I write this as I ponder the hassels of trying to recover my identity and put corona on my lip-gloss missin’ lips and hum to Johnny Cash singin’

(I hear the train a’ comin’ it’s rollin’ round the bend…and I ain’t seen the sunshine since….I don’t know when…..I’m stuck in Folsom Prison….and time keeps draggin’ on…)