reading

Why I’m Not Reading Fifty Shades of Grey

July 24, 2012 by Edie Wadsworth 157 Comments

Why I'm not reading Fifty Shades of Grey

I’ve been thinking about it lately because the references are everywhere and then someone ask me if I was going to read it. I hadn’t taken the time to process my thoughts correctly about the book. I had heard the premise and then read a bunch of reviews.

I knew right away that it wasn’t for me.

Now, to formulate a coherent, well-informed reason why not and then effectively communicate it to someone else—–that’s not exactly as easy as it sounds.

This weekend, at the Circe Conference, as I was frantically jotting down quotes from the church fathers and from the brightest minds of the past two millennia, it dawned on me that the main reason I won’t be reading the book is because there are too many wonderful things to read that I already know I’ll never get to in my life. Despite the fact that I have full-to-the-brim bookshelves already, I came away from the conference with a list of twenty-five books that I MUST read and I’d like to read ten of them before school starts in 3 weeks. I’m considering putting myself on a rigorous reading schedule that involves waking up in the wee hours of the morning so that I can take in as much of the classical tradition and wisdom as is possible for a mom who still needs to cook and do laundry and sleep.

So, why would I waste some of those precious few reading hours on what many reviewers have described as horrific writing in a genre that is barely passable as literature?

There are so many wonderful works of art, music, literature, and film with which to fill our minds. We’ll never exhaust the wealth of what is available to us from brilliant, capable artists and writers.

The beauty of living in a free society is that you’re free to choose what works of art you will engage. But how we use our freedoms is another thing all together.

And I’m not moralizing here. I’m not a prude or a legalist. I don’t think it’s an accident that even in scripture, we’re not given a how-to book. We are instead given stories and poetry and parables, all of which contain truth that God gives to us through stories. And the Creator himself writes some racy and violent things. But we have, in our porn/erotica addicted society, exchanged the truth for a lie. We have stripped away the mysteries of love and reduced them to violence and objectification and dominance. And why? I can only surmise that it’s because we’re so desperate for the real thing and we just don’t believe that we can have it without the sensationalized, scandalous forms of sexuality that dominate our culture.

Here’s my idea of sexy…….

A man whose strong arms cradle a tender newborn.

A grandfather who painstakingly takes the time to teach his grandson to fish.

A husband who works two jobs to put food on the table.

And of course, the beautiful, even wild, consummation of young lovers who vow to live together forever within the bonds of marriage.

It surprises me, really, that this kind of literature is what woman want, or at least what they think they want.

I fear we’ve lost our center point. All of us.

And, ironically, it’s often art that draws us back. Beauty woos us and invites us to something better, a nobler love, a higher calling. I’m thankful for artists whose works are the very incarnation of truth.

Contrast the debased world of BDSM to this commentary of David Hicks in his book, Norms and Nobility, on the beautiful description the lover makes toward his beloved in Song of Solomon. He’s commenting on the passage where Song of Solomon describes his lover in detail—her cheeks, her neck, her belly, her navel, her breasts.

“The poet’s admiration for his beloved is without perversion or sentimentality, and his imagery suggests an ennobling and self-transcending sexuality—nothing tawdry, nothing vain. For the love the poet expresses, although intensely personal, is also universal and divine. His myth raises human sexuality out of the technical mire of the modern sex manual and imbues it with the significance and loveliness characterizing Dante’s ‘Love that moves the sun and the other stars.’ ”

Love and sex are beautiful gifts from God. Gifts that we will always be prone to pervert, like we pervert all His gifts. I don’t really need any help—in the form of perverted sex acts— to make a mess of love or of life.

To summarize Andrew Kern’s talk, in its truest form, art is the medium by which the artist embodies a truth.

From what I can tell, the premise of Fifty Shades of Grey is built on lies. Lies told in an effort to sell books and undermine the wonderful mysteries of love thats exist between a man and a woman.

At best, it seems a waste of precious time and at worst, it tears at the fabric of what has always made societies great—lovers whose passions are finally tamed and whose selfish desires are put aside to leave a legacy of fidelity and love for their children and grandchildren.

Life is too short for bad books, especially given all the good ones I’ve yet to read.

Here’s a sample of what I’ve added to my reading list instead:

Mind of the Maker by Dorothy Sayers

The Last Gentleman: A Novel by Walker Percy

Standing by Words: Essays by Wendell Berry

The Beauty of the Infinite: The Aesthetics of Christian Truth by David Bentley Hart

The Divine Comedy by Dante

Mystery and Manners: Occasional Prose by Flannery O’Connor

Post-Edit::

I was on my very hot and difficult run this morning when Intervention by Arcade Fire began playing on my iPod. There is a truth in that song that pierces my self-righteousness. It nails me right between my hypocritical eyes. Listen to it and ponder your own tendency to look for the problem ‘out there’ somewhere—in a culture gone wrong. Perhaps the culture has gone wrong because I have gone wrong—-we have gone wrong. We have failed to love truth and beauty and we hear the echoes of this generation as they cry, “We’ll go it alone.” In the end, it is my own need to repent that rings loudest in my ears.

“working for the church, while you’re family dies.
you take what they give you, and keep it inside.
every spark of friendship and love will die without a home.
hear the soldier groan, ‘we’ll go it alone.’ ”

Visit our workroom/schoolroom/artroom. It’s a pretty fantastic multifunctional room!

My (not so) Storybook Life

June 23, 2012 by Edie Wadsworth 114 Comments

I’ve got the perfect summer read for you! And I couldn’t be happier to tell you that my very long time blog friend , Liz, is the author! I started blogging in May of 2008 and I think I found Liz’s blog about 6 months after that. She blogs at Mabel’s House and you should definitely add her to your blog roll. I was first captured by our mutual love for turquoise. I love everything about her style and use of color in her home.

She is a collector of all things vintage and I’m a wee bit jealous of her delicious pyrex/jadeite filled hutch! And her vintage salt and pepper shaker collection. Let’s just say I’ve loved her from the start.

And I feel like I’ve literally watched her blossom. She just became a mom to beautiful Jane and has written so beautifully and honestly about becoming a mother.

I love little Miss Jane’s nursery!

I could show you pictures of her family and home and you’d never tire of it so after you finish this post, head over to her blog and be inspired.
The reason I’m so excited today is that Liz has written a book. She’s one of those people whose blog you read and then you say to yourself, “She should write a book.”
Well, she did and I couldn’t be happier to tell you about it so you’ll have time to pick it up in time for that beach trip.

One of the things I love about Liz is her love for great literature and classic movies. She’s read everything. She’s watched every classic movie and she has spent her life being inspired by the greats. The influence of those great authors on her life and writing is profound. She has literally sat at the feet of the best and learned the art of writing. And did I mention she’s hilarious? She’s got it all!

Her book, My Not So Storybook Life is about her journey to find faith and friendship and contentment but with just the right amount of hilarity sprinkled throughout. She weaves in her favorite literary heroes in just the perfect way as she opens each chapter with a modern retelling of an old classic. In her effort to achieve domestic perfection and tranquility, she and her husband Matt are a modern day Lucy and Ricky Ricardo as they endure countless home project disasters. In the midst of her plumbing and decorating woes, her dearest friend Angela is diagnosed with cancer and they walk a very dark but sweet road together.

It was so amazing for me to read Liz’s book after reading her blog for four years. What a treat! And I know you’ll love it too. Thank you, dear Liz, for using your gifts and following your passion. We are blessed by your sharing and wish you many happy years and many more books!

You can purchase My (not so) Storybook Life: A Tale of Friendship and Faith or leave a comment to win a copy! Tell us your favorite summer read so far! Both my giveaways will close tonight at midnight.

“Sowing” {a kitchen garden}

May 1, 2012 by Edie Wadsworth 42 Comments

I’m downright shaken to the core by Wendell Berry’s writing. When is the last time you read someone who simultaneously made you want to be a better mother and wife, grow a garden, raise some livestock and read more poetry and Homer? He is a prophet of sorts, providing insightful and critical commentary on our modern way of life and the sad separation between us and our land, our food and most importantly our families. We have grown up in an era where we are cut off from so much of our humanity. We have become poor caretakers of all entrusted to us and the result is a society that is overfed but undernourished, information rich but wisdom poor, exhaustingly busy but often lonely and unsatisfied.

He offers some complicated analysis on how we got to where we are but his solutions seem to be fairly simple. Slow down. Grow some food. Cook it yourself. Raise a few animals. Know what you’re eating. Be faithful to the land, to your children, to your wife. Relearn the simple pleasures of life that can’t be bought but must be nurtured.

His writing has been so timely for us too. We had already committed to raising a few chickens and growing a small kitchen garden. But the way he writes about it makes it seem so much more meaningful and profound. He advocates change in the only way it’s possible—-“I bid you to a one-man revolution—The only revolution that is coming.”

So, I thought I’d show you the tiny little spot we carved out for a kitchen/herb/vegetable garden. We’ll be ready to plant soon so I’ve been doing lots of reading and planning. It’s about 10×12 feet and right beside our garage. It gets full sun until around 2p and is within our sprinkler system so watering will be easy!

I found some good information on this site, including some help in planning my layout. I’ll keep you updated on the progress!

“Sowing” by Wendell Berry

In the stilled place that once was a road going down

from the town to the river, and where the lives of marriages grew

a house, a cistern and barn, flowers, the tilted stone of borders,

and the deed of their lives ran to neglect, and honeysuckle

and then the fire overgrew it all, I walk heavy

with seed, spreading on the cleared hill the beginnings

of green, clover and grass to be pasture. Between

history’s death upon the place and the trees that would have come

I claim, and act, and am mingled in the fate of the world.

I highly recommend The Art of the Commonplace: The Agrarian Essays of Wendell Berry and The Way of Ignorance: And Other Essays.

My new blog friend, Marie, has a great blog about all her farming/growing adventures! And she recently had a chocolate chip cookie taste test that looked so much fun!

Now tell me all about your gardens, I’m dying to know!

Also, check out lifeingracegirls today where Meaghan is doing the most adorable bow tie tutorial!

Read Books and Live Well, part 1

April 13, 2012 by Edie Wadsworth 71 Comments

This post is lengthy with lots of links but don’t miss the giveaway at the end!

read books
I’m passionate about reading and about promoting reading in my circle of influence. I’m on a quest to read the classics that I never really enjoyed in high school or never read at all. I hope this series will give you inspiration to begin a reading program of your own or to start a book club or reading group. And let’s face it, none of us feel like we have time so it’s a matter of making it a priority. Get up a little earlier and try doing 15 minutes of reading before you do anything else. And never, ever go anywhere without a book. You never know when you might stumble upon 15 unspoken-for minutes.

I’m using Susan Wise Bauer’s book The Well-Educated Mind: A Guide to the Classical Education You Never Had
as a guide and I started a classical bookclub (that’s four years old) of wonderful, smart friends that are crazy enough to read Plato with me. If you’re not a reader and think books aren’t for you, I wish I could sit down with you for an afternoon in my little library and tell you the stories of how all my books have changed my life. My workroom is filled with my favorite books and when I travel, I miss them as much as I miss my bed. Which is a lot! I don’t have access to a good library so Amazon is my friend and my general rule is that I buy books on Kindle that I’m not sure if I’ll want to reread and order real paper and ink books otherwise. Here are my beloved books! You’d miss ’em too, wouldn’t you?! Read books and live a richer and fuller inner life!

To start the series, I thought I’d share my 5 all time favorite books. The ones I read over and over and over, year after year.

readbooks

Most of the books I will list here I didn’t really ‘get’ until the second or third time through, so be patient with yourself if you’re embarking on a reading plan.

My 5 favorite, most often read books: (You’ll notice my list is heavily skewed toward Lewis but I am a confessed Lewis super fan.)

1. Orthodoxy by G.K Chesterton

I love this book. It’s difficult to read your first time through but don’t give up on it. I love Philip Weingart’s words on Orthodoxy:

“Since Chesterton was both a genius and the son of a saner era than our own, the ideas which coursed through his head may astonish modern readers. He seems to turn the world on its head; the book is a continuous feast of the delightfully unexpected. To Chesterton, faith is reason, orthodoxy is liberty, the order of our universe is as unexpected as the wildest fairy tale, and heeding tradition is as natural as allowing all citizens to vote. Modern readers at first will think him just a little bit crazy, but as they warm up to his approach, they will begin to feel that perhaps his point of view is healthier than theirs, and in the best of cases, they will begin to right themselves.”

2. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

This is likely the most read book in our house and happens to be the book that led Stevie back to the faith. “A young [agnostic] can never be too careful what he reads,” Lewis once said. Chris Banescu writes:

“Mere Christianity is full of memorable and powerful revelations that elucidate the foundations of Christian theology, our relationship to God, and the meaning of life. Only C.S. Lewis could summarize such broad concepts so eloquently without coming across as overly-religious or preachy. His extraordinary ability to focus on the core tenets of Christianity and explain them with remarkable ease reinforces the wide appeal of his writings.”

3. Evangelical is Not Enough by Thomas Howard

If you are searching for something more than you are finding in modern Christianity, this book will be a treasure to you. If you are enjoying the gifts of God in the liturgy and sacraments, this book will deepen your gratitude. This book is one of my favorites. Peter Kreeft wrote,

“In this deeply moving narrative, Thomas Howard describes his pilgrimage from Evangelicalism (which he loves and reveres as the religion of his youth) to liturgical Christianity…. He describes Evangelicalism with great sympathy and then examines more formal, liturgical worship with the freshness of someone discovering for the first time what his soul had always hungered for.”

4. The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis

This book is a fantasy about heaven and hell and unlike anything you’ve ever imagined about either. It’s a gem of a book and one that you’ll want to read at least twice. Steve and I have both read it many times and we often will compare people we meet in our daily life to Lewis’ brilliant descriptions of people in the book. It’s short and can be finished in a day or two.

“I believe, to be sure, that any man who reaches Heaven will find that what he abandoned (even in plucking out his right eye) has not been lost: that the kernel of what he was really seeking even in his most depraved wishes will be there, beyond expectation, waiting for him in ‘the High Countries’.”

5. The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis

Maybe it’s because I’ve known some suffering in my life but this book is like no other. Lewis speaks to the impossible question of why there is suffering in the world and what that suffering means. I’ve read it so many times that it’s like an old friend. I read twice last year and already once this year. It’s hard to pick a favorite quote because there are so many good ones but from chapter 6:

“The human spirit will not even begin to surrender self-will as long as all seems to be well with it. Now error and sin both have this property, that the deeper they are, the less their victim suspects their existence; they are masked evil. Pain is unmasked , unmistakable evil, every man knows that something is wrong when he is being hurt…..And the pain is not only recognizable evil, but evil impossible to ignore. We rest contentedly in our sins and stupidities…..and can even ignore our pleasures, but pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Runner up for most loved book:
Till We Have Faces: A Myth Retold by C.S. Lewis

I read this book as a present to myself for my 40th birthday and wrote about how this book made real to me my own desperate condition. I just reread it for book club and have no less than 40 pages tabbed of perfect Lewis quotes. It’s the retelling of the Cupid myth and its’ central theme is love. Lewis claimed it was his best work and I may just have to agree.

And my most used book: The Lutheran Book Of Prayer

This book is my constant companion. I read prayers in it every day and copy appropriate ones to give to people who are struggling with this or that life issue. It’s one of my favorite things to give as a gift and it’s the perfect size to fit into your purse, car, desk. There are 4 sets (I think) of prayers for the specific days of the week and then prayers for every holiday, church festival, special day, etc. There are also a host of prayers of petition, for every conceivable situation imaginabl

I also just happen to have an extra copy that I’d love to give away so if you’ll leave a comment listing your 5 (or 1 or 2, etc) all time favorite books, I’ll pick a giveaway winner soon. Giveaway ends at midnight on Sunday!

On my reading list this weekend:
1. Finish Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy
2. Continue The Narnian: The Life and Imagination of C. S. Lewis (Plus)
(thanks for the recommendation Dan)
3. Continue reading The Diary of a Young Girl (Everyman’s Library (Cloth))
aloud to the girls.

Hope you enjoy a great book or two this weekend and now tell me your favorite book(s) for a chance to win!

Post Edit:: I’m also thinking of setting up a live chat to finish our Grace Upon Grace book study. If you’d be interested, send me an email to let me know! And I should perhaps have put my Lutheran Study Bible as number 1 but it seems to need a category of its own but is indeed my very favorite book! I’m loving your suggestions so far!

Lenten Devotion::Grace Upon Grace

February 20, 2012 by Edie Wadsworth 35 Comments

Lent begins this week on Ash Wednesday and I want to invite you to go on a Lenten journey with me. I’ll be reading the book Grace Upon Grace by John Kleinig and posting once a week about the reading. The book has an introduction and then five chapters so we’ll take the introduction this week and meet here to discuss it next Wednesday (Feb. 27th) and then take one chapter a week until Easter.

The book is about spirituality for the christian, perhaps the most misunderstood topic and word in our modern vernacular.

Kleinig introduces the book with this:

“The modern interest in spirituality is a bit like our interest in health. Our obsession with health is not at all healthy; in fact, it emphasizes the problems that we have without providing much of a solution to them. So, too, with our concern for spirituality! Despite the multitude of books on spirituality that can be found in the bookshop, Christians seem to find it harder than ever to practice what they believe. So many aspire to be spiritual high fliers but never seem to get off the ground for any length of time. As the failures mount, so does the fascination with what seemingly cannot be achieved. The only thing we learn is that something is lacking in this part of our lives. But we end up with no understanding on how to fill the void……If we have problems living the life of faith, if we have challenges in our practice of prayer, the solution is not to be found in what we do, our self-appraisal, or our performance. The solution to our problems is found in what we receive from God Himself, in His appraisal of us, and in His gifts to us. Like our physical life and health, our spiritual life is something that is given to us, something that is to be received and enjoyed and celebrated. Our piety is all a matter of receiving grace upon grace from the fullness of God the Father. “

Isn’t that good stuff? The book is chocked full of this all too rare theological truth—-that we already have everything we need from the Father and we are merely learning to live from His fullness, which was bestowed on us at our Baptism.

Too often our Lenten journeys are ‘try-hard’ failures. We give up coffee—-for a while. We pray daily—-until we don’t. We pull ourselves up with our spiritual bootstraps and suffer, by-golly.

But Lent is not about our supposed sacrifice of some earthly passion. Lent is a journey with Christ to His passion.

Lent is not a time to focus on ourselves and our own particular abundance or lack of self-discipline. Lent is a time of self-forgetfulness, where we learn to live more in union with Christ and less from our own capabilities.

Our Lenten discipline does not make us more holy. We have the very righteousness of Christ and His holiness already.

Our Lenten failures do not make us more wretched but serve to remind us that our wretchedness has cost our Savior His life and that He has gone to every length to secure our ransom.

We take this journey with Him to learn from Him what it means to be His child. To remember what it’s like to be loved by Our Father.

To learn to receive from His hand nothing more and nothing less than what He Himself gives.

Lent is about Christ and His pilgrimage to the Cross, where His love is poured out for all humanity.

Spirituality is His work in us as He creates faith and repentance.

But what does that daily spirituality look like? Dr. John Kleinig will be the perfect study leader as we explore what it really means to be spiritual. Join us for lenten devotions.

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You may purchase Grace Upon Grace through this link and I’m donating my Amazon Affiliate funds to purchase 4 books for anyone who would like to participate in this book study but isn’t able to buy the book right now. Just email me with your name and address and I’ll choose the first four people who respond:)

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Winner of Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman is Sarah Pinnault! Email me with your address, Sarah, and I’ll get the book out to you.

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You can find podcasts of Dr. Kleinig’s teachings here.

Grace for the Good Girl

February 8, 2012 by Edie Wadsworth 193 Comments

Hi, my name is Edie and this is my friend Emily and we are recovering good girls.

It’s sounds so quaint and harmless but my good girl nearly destroyed my life.

Emily has done a very brave and dangerous thing . She has exposed the good girl in us all—-and with wit and kindness, has helped us to see the damage that the she is wreaking in our lives.

I wish I had found this grace when I was 15 and the ‘do-good’ demons were wrestling me to the ground. I struggled with this book because it brought back painful memories. (The darker the room, the harsher the light usually seems.) My good girl is all grown up now and is smarter and craftier than ever.

She’s driven by all the wrong reasons to do all manner of ‘good things’ and when she’s been slighted in the least, she makes sure that everyone knows how hard she’s worked to keep this house of cards from falling—doing it all with her best, self-serving, martyrdom tactics. Down deep, she wonders if grace is just too cheap and if unconditional love isn’t a spiritual pipe dream.

Emily leads us to the foot of the Cross, where all sinners must go; for there, Christ exchanges our try-hard life for His perfect beautiful life and our exhausted good girl facade for His true peace and rest.

Her book will challenge your status quo as she brings to light the grave danger that lingers near a performance driven life.

Your good girl will be quaking in her boots.

My favorite quote?

“Good girls live obediently but they do not know the mystery.”

Grace, my friends, is a sacred mystery. And you can’t do one thing to earn it.

It is given to you freely by your Father without your effort or striving.

He has come to your rescue with life-giving mercy.

GRACE has come!

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Thank you, beautiful Emily, for your courageous truth-telling. I am so privileged to call you friend.

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I just so happen to have an extra copy of Emily’s book so if you’ll leave a comment on this post, I’ll pick a giveaway winner soon.

This is one you’ll want to read for yourself!

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I’m an Amazon Affiliate so if all 5,000 of y’all buy the book from this click, I’ll make enough for a Starbucks coffee!