family life

Forever Young {13 and 21}

September 10, 2013 by Edie Wadsworth 24 Comments

I was pregnant with her during my last year of residency, which means, she learned early to be a fighter. During the first year of her life, I adjusted to a new baby, a new marriage, a new job, and a new mortgage in a new town. I worked weekend nights as an ER doctor in a small town and stayed home with her during the week. I was able to nurse her until she was six months old, notwithstanding the four episodes of miserable mastitis, that tempted me to stop after 4 weeks.

She was always a spit fire. She cried for hours in the evenings and wouldn’t go to sleep unless I laid with her in her room every night. She rattled me and despite the fact that she was my third child, she pummeled my mothering self-esteem. I read books on parenting as fast as I could read them, but in the heat of her red-faced fits, nothing ever seemed to work.

But, oh was she charming.

She had gorgeous blond curly hair, which she twirled with one hand, while she drank her “chocolatey”, as she affectionately called her chocolate milk, in the other.

When she was four, we thought it might help her stubborn streak if we tried soccer.

During her first game, she stood in the middle of the field screaming bloody murder. The coach and I ran to her, hoping she that by the sound of her screams, she hadn’t ruptured internal organs, or some other such serious injury. When we asked her what was wrong, she said, “EVERYDODY’S JUST RUNNING SO FAST AND KICKING AND IT GETS ME MAD!”. Yes, my dear, that’s what they call soccer.

So, we took her to ballet and prayed she didn’t get kicked out.

Then, the years at home twisted both our hearts inside out. We fought and cried and stood our ground until we learned to give in and forgive and give our ground away.

Today, I couldn’t be more surprised and more proud of her tenderness. She’s quick to see her fault, quick to say I’m sorry, and always finding a reason to laugh. She LOVES babies and dogs and is so talented with her hands. She’s a dancer extraordinaire and has a creative streak a mile wide. All those years of stubborn heartache have come to this—to a thirteen year old who is full of grace.

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I can’t remember my life before her. She has always been my girl. I was 22 years old when she was born, a mere babe myself, and I toted her to biochemistry with me when she was a week old. She went through a lot of schooling with me and now we study her nursing together and I can’t fathom how the years roll on. She is the girl with my smile and my eyes and the oldest one, who bears the brunt of my hard fought learning. We have had our share of heartaches, her and I, but the depths of what we have forged together through tears and loss and joy and laughter, can never be plumbed.

Her voice and her smile melt my heart and she has a way of knowing and forgiving that are way beyond her years. She has an old soul and a generous streak and incredible eyes.

She is the funniest girl, and yet, wise and discerning.

I am so blessed to be her momma, to share in her story, to watch as she grows into a woman full of grace.

These two middle girls of mine are similar in so many ways—it’s only fitting that their birthdays are together.

I pray they always lean on each other and learn early that there’s nothing in this world like a sister.

And I pray they learn live always from a place gratitude, eager to serve and love and forgive.

Happy Birthday, girls. You make me look like I know what I’m doing, when we all know that I’m just fumbling around in the dark, hoping and praying for grace.

May you stay forever young.

I love you,

Momma

Cake and Karaoke

September 9, 2013 by Edie Wadsworth 29 Comments

Okay, y’all.

It was the best party ever. I’ve got no lies to tell. We were celebrating milestones; Caiti turning 21 and Emme turning 13. And would you believe me if I told you that there was not ONE decoration. Not one. Not even a single solitary “Happy Birthday” napkin.

What we had was this—we had cake and we had karaoke.

So, before you go and judge me and throw me out of the cute party decorations club, here me out.

When I say we had cake, we had cake, dear ones.

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It was delicious and worth every bit of effort. But, it wasn’t close to being the star of the show. Not by a long shot.

Karaoke is my love language. And my kids love music, so we decided to have a little fun with a borrowed karaoke machine. (Thank you, Shawna!) So, after scarfing down some cake, we scurried downstairs to start the karaoke party because if I know one thing about myself, it’s this: 6 hours of karaoke won’t be long enough. Amen? Amen. We were lamenting our lack of decorations because we felt like we really needed a back drop that matched the quality of the karaoke. That’s when we decided to set Buck up right behind us. He was perfect in every way. And quit trying to press play on that awesome photo, it’s a screen shot, a teaser, if you will. All in all, it was a fantastic ab workout, because I don’t believe I’ve ever laughed so much in one day. I came upstairs and the look on Stevie’s face was priceless. I said, “It’s pretty awesome, huh?”, to which he replied, “Oh, it’s awesome, alright.”

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Sister and I warmed up on Coal Miner’s Daughter and Stand By Your Man. And when you sing with all the fervor that we do, even those two’ll wear you out. All of our girls and two of the girls’ friends were there (Bless their hearts) and we knew that if we just kept singing, the teens and tweens would soon join in. For a good two hours, we tried to entice them with the likes of Delta Dawn, Ring of Fire, Hello Darlin’, and Mama Tried. There was a lot of eye rolling and eye brow raising, and in general making fun of the mommas. But, I can’t be deterred by a little critique from a few teenagers. What do they know about life? Watch Coal Miner’s Daughter a few more times and then we’ll talk. So, sister and I took a short break, to rest our voices, and head upstairs for more cake. As you might have guessed, the lure of the microphone was too much and what do we hear from the basement but a few girls singing some mellow Maroon Five. I can’t say I totally support their choice of music, but those girls can really sing. We enjoyed hearing our girls lightly whisper their tunes and were happy they finally decided to embrace the joys of karaoke, even if somewhat begrudgingly.

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And this cutie pie can pretend she was asleep, but we all know she was loving every minute of it.

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After the UT was over, we begged Taylor to join us. He reluctantly took his seat between the sisters and sang Mama Tried with us. Real musicians have little patience for karaoke, but he humored us.

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Then, the girls sang some more, but our time was running short so we finally wrung the microphones out of their greedy hands to finish up with a grand (repeat) finale of Mountain Man by Alabama and Coal Miner’s Daughter by my hero, Loretta Lynn. And if it weren’t for the fact that I would sit in my basement all day singing old school country songs, I’d get myself one of those karaoke machines. I haven’t had this much fun in years. Well, not since that time, back in the 90’s, when JamieKnoxville and I wowed half of Atlantic City with our mad skillz and sang, “Did I Shave My Legs For This?”

Caiti, who turns 21 tomorrow, humored us by singing Stand By Your Man with us. I feel like it’s a right of passage for a young woman much more important than the being able to buy alcohol. We put her right between us and tried not to drown her out, since she actually has a stunning voice.

So, my final thought to you is, who needs decorations when you have this kind of passionate entertainment? And what could be better for the 13 year old psyche than to karaoke with your mom?

I can’t think of anything.

I was tempted to upload a little snippet of audio for you, but, my computer kept freezing up, and honestly, whatever you’ve conjured up in your mind is ten times better than the real thing! I mean, just look at that photo—a picture is worth a thousand videos. We were in it to win it.

p.s. If you need high quality entertainment for you next party, you know where to find me.

Summer Soiree 2013 (aka The Best Staycation EVER!)

July 8, 2013 by Edie Wadsworth 26 Comments

Our week was wonderful and went a little something like this….

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and this…..

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with a little bit of this…..

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and this……. summersoiree5

thrown in for good measure.

Because sometimes, you just need to laugh. A lot. And my people are nothing if not entertaining.

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The kitchen was on her best behavior and churned out a lot of good food.

Like this…..

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and this…..

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The frogmore stew (aka shrimp boil) was my favorite recipe of the week, so please add it to your summer list of things to do. It makes eating into an event, not just a meal.

And the sauces that you make to go with the stew? WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Don’t get lazy and think you don’t need sauces. Because you do, in fact, need sauces.

The table looked all festive for the week, with her beautiful hydrangeas and bandanas.

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Not to be outdone by David, of course, who likes a little flair himself…

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So, we’re already lonesome for the kids, who left this weekend.

But, we washed all the sheets and swept up the cake crumbs and folded all the beach towels and are ready for round 2 of the best summer soiree staycation ever! (JamieKnoxville and family are coming this week!)

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More on all the food later. I’ve got some awesome recipes to share!!

Hope your summer is sunny and bright, despite the rain (which we’ve had in abundance!)

Mucho love to you and yours!

p.s. I’m speaking at the Becoming Conference in Asheville on August 9th and 10th and I’d love to see you there. Jen just posted the full conference agenda so check it out and make plans to meet us there!!

(I’m so excited about the other sessions that I’m kinda sad I’m speaking. I can hardly wait!)

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Through My Prayers

May 28, 2013 by Edie Wadsworth 61 Comments

Steve’s father passed away this week. We are heartbroken and grieving and would appreciate your prayers; especially for his mom, who lost her husband of 57 years and who spent the last few years sacrificing so much to care for him at home. The gift Steve’s father gave me is one I’ll never be able to repay. So much of the life and love I enjoy today is because of how this man devoted himself to his family. I’m so thankful for the legacy that Eddie leaves, for the strong foundation he laid for his family, for the hilarious one liners that live on in all who knew him, and for the gift of faith in Christ, which was the cornerstone of his life. We will miss you, Eddie.

Hug those you love extra tight today. Make sure they know how much you care.

xoxo

On Raising Gracious Kids

March 6, 2013 by Edie Wadsworth 77 Comments

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I wrote this post, not because I’ve somehow got it all figured out, but because even as a veteran mom, I’m still struggling. I’m right there with you, down in the trenches, waging war, as enemies attack these kids, our family, on every side. It’s hard because it’s supposed to be hard. But don’t lose heart. Our Father will take this struggle and transform it into beautiful. He is in the business of making all things new.

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We all want to give our children the *best*, whatever that is. But is it, really? What is that ‘best’ that we have to offer our children?

It’s a commitment to love them by discipling them.

Disciple means to teach. We are their first and most important teachers.

As modern Americans, we seem to have lost our way when it comes to our role in our children’s lives. We love them, of course, but we seem to have forsaken the role of being their primary mentors. In generations past, children were kept closer to home and were systematically taught the fundamental lessons in life at a much earlier age. They were expected to participate in the household economy by contributing in a meaningful way to family life. These days, as long as they’re ‘out of our hair’, we are happy and so are they. And trust me, as a homeschooler, the same thing can happen regardless of whether they’re with you all the time or not.

It’s hard to live with kids in a meaningful way. Some days, I give anything to send mine off somewhere, anywhere.

But the bottom line is this: parenting with intention is so difficult. Teaching your children how to live is a daunting task. It’s much easier to be a passive spectator and blame someone else for what’s wrong in our kids and families. Teaching and mentoring and discipling them well is a nearly impossible task. But the alternative is terrifying. Undisciplined, untrained, unloving and overindulged kids become adults. Welcome to every Walmart in America.

We’re a mess.

And our only hope is to repent.

We must admit that we haven’t been the parents we should have been. We’ve been lazy and apathetic. Or we’ve been too harsh and then overindulgent out of guilt. We have chosen our own comfort and our own pleasure at the expense of their proper training.

The next time your child does something you hate—and I know, because it happens to me all the time—-take a careful look. It’s probably some variation of your own sin and poor behavior.

And you hate it in them because you loathe it in yourself. But unless you’re willing to do the hard thing and deal with your very own sin and struggle, you will never rightly deal with theirs.

You’ll minimize them, or ignore them or worse yet, you’ll overreact out of anger toward them.

Our children are like small mirrors that let us see plainly into our own corrupt hearts.

It’s God’s way of tenderly showing us our sin in a way that just might bring us to repentance.

But we are children of Adam and we’re stubborn and hard-hearted. We don’t give up easy and not usually without a fight. So, why are we surprised to see the same seed-bed of rebellion in our kids? They have learned it from the masters—-you and I and every other adult in their lives.

The only answer I can find here is Christ.

We surrender to Him all our tired excuses, all our defenses, all our stubborn anger and rebellion and we beg Him to replace our stone heart with flesh.

We beg Him to make US over first.

Then, we will be able to rightly pray for and teach our children about this cycle of repentance that we all must learn to live in, daily.

I wish there were a formula for raising gracious, hospitable and kind children. The truth is—-the path is ancient and well-worn but it’s not easy. And it will require everything from you—the kind of sacrificial love that only comes from the supernatural grace of Christ. It looks like dying to self and rising to walk in His mercy and grace. And they will watch that cycle of dying and rising, of sin and repentance, and they will learn something beautiful about the rhythm of life as a child of God.

When they see Him dig out your rebellion and anger and false humility, they will know that this Christ that we serve is not a moralist or a goody two shoes or an angry God, out to get them.

They will see the living God, in the flesh of their parents.

His love will draw them and woo them and His powerful Word will transform them.

We want cheap, superficial, behavior modification for our children. Christ wants deep abiding peace and hope for them. We want little moralists who will always choose the politically correct path. Christ wants to circumcise their hearts and make them true disciples. We want them to fit in. He died to set them apart.

We think we love them. He really does.

And He loves them so much that He is not willing to leave them as He found them. He’s so intentional about this transformation that He doesn’t even leave it to us. He lived the sinless life, walked the narrow way, lived perfectly hospitable in their stead. And in ours. So that, ultimately, we have nothing left to do. We are free, now, to love our neighbor, because everything we need has been answered in Christ.

And when we learn to live from this gift, from this bounty, the teaching will become natural. Because we’ll be giving to them from the surplus of love and joy in our own hearts.

And when we fail in this task—and yes, I said WHEN we fail, we seek refuge in the cycle of dying and rising, of sinning and repenting—-to walk in newness of life. And those whom God has given to us to walk beside us will smile—not because they see perfect parents, but because they finally see the key to living in peace with others. And that key is forgiveness.

The forgiveness won for us on the cross and delivered to us in Word and Sacrament.

So, how do you raise hospitable children?

You teach.

You teach them what you are learning by living a transparent life in front of them.

Jesus said, “Go make disciples, by baptizing and teaching.”

You teach them about Him. You teach the faith, once delivered to the saints. Give them His Word and bring them regularly to the Lord’s table, where they feast on the very Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world—-even the sins of children and parents.

The thing about parenting that scares me to death is that our children usually turn out like us.

Lord, have mercy.

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What has been your most difficult struggle as a parent? Do you have good role models or do you feel like you’re winging it on your own? What’s your single best piece of advice for new parents?

I’m linking with Kelly and her series on parenting!

Winterplace, 2012 {and someone’s birthday!}

January 9, 2013 by Edie Wadsworth 44 Comments

Stevie and I are lucky enough to have two sets of kids; the older ones and the younger ones. In other words, we started early and kept going, where baby making was concerned. If you happen to have this same arrangement, you’ll identify with what I say. We were younger when the older ones were young. (duh?) So, we were more adventurous. Fearless, in fact. We took them all to New York City for Christmas one year. {I get a panic attack just thinking about it.}

We traveled with them all the time; to the beach, to Disney, to the ski slopes, etc. We never hemmed and hawed about it. We just went.
Fast forward 10 years. We’re old-ish. We take a lot of Motrin. We like to sleep in our own beds. We eat alot of fiber.

We’ve got bad knees and torn calf muscles.

But our small ones are young and want to see the world. They want to travel and eat out and have sleep overs. You know, like their siblings used to do.

So, occasionally, we just have to buck up and do it. And it was the perfect storm. My birthday, the holidays, the restless crew—-Stevie took matters into his own hands and surprised us with a ski trip. We packed a lot of motrin and a heating pad and up to the mountains we drove.

{Don’t you worry. Stevie’s still got it :)}

He got down the hill like an old pro. He’s actually a really good skier but he’s not 22, if you get my drift.

It didn’t take long before everyone was skiing and having a ball!

Even the least one got the hang of it by the day 2! And it was so fun to have the older ones there to teach the younger ones. It’s so much cooler to learn to ski from your 22 year old brother than from your mom!

As much as we love our homebody lifestyle, traveling with kids grows you. It stresses your limits and stretches you. I’m glad we went. And really glad we’re home!

We found this cute cabin on VRBO, owned by the nicest lady, who was so helpful in making our spur-of-the-moment trip possible. You can rent one of three levels or all three if you’re taking a big party. It’s ski-in, ski-out and is on an easy green hill so that those learning could get some good practice in.

Our dear (and younger) friends Sara and Sebastian joined us for a day and night of fun. They brought raclette, which is fun Belgian tradition of communal eating over a hot plate with individual cooking plates. We ate so much good food that night!

So, thank you Stevie for a great change of pace and for making us cool again to our kids!

For a short time, the girls don’t think we’re old fogies. We’re young and hip and well, sore.

p.s. I got a little behind on my resolution fury but I did finish two books while we were gone—-Turning Pro: Tap Your Inner Power and Create Your Life’s Work
and The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles. I highly recommend them, for those of you who are serious about finding your life’s work and doing it well. I have so much to share about that, which I plan to do in my first ever newsletter, which will be sent out to all subscribers to this blog. Make sure you subscribe before Friday! Get those books too.

Mwahhh to all you and hope your new year is off to the perfect start!