family life

Fairer Than Day

April 27, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 56 Comments

I breathe deeply, and certainty enters into me like light, like a piece of science, and curious music seems to hum inside my fingers.
Is there a single person on whom I can press belief? No sir. All I can do is say, Here’s how it went. Here’s what I saw. I’ve been there and am going back. Make of it what you will. ~Leif Enger, Peace Like A River.

You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. You probably wouldn’t even have believed me had you been there. But sometimes, the combination of weather and circumstance and near perfect humanity will leave you feeling like you’ve witnessed a miracle. And I needed one in the worst way.

Not because of anything insurmountable but mostly because I’m like you—a regular old unbeliever.

I doubt, I whine. My faith fades like it’s been washed in bleach.

I’m always teetering, falling, flailing. Losing my grip.

But, then grace overwhelms.

Mercy rains down.

Beauty breaks in.

The sun pours out its extravagant light on every last thing.

We are stewards of a string of magnificent moments in a land that is fairer than day.

And we’re not even home yet.

I believe. Lord, help my unbelief.

How We Do Holidays Around Here

April 21, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 44 Comments

Good morning, Gorgeous! I hope your Easter weekend was beautiful and restful.

I have a holiday weekend strategy that you might find helpful. It comes from years of trial and error where I needed a vacation from my post holiday/over-stressed blues. Besides my weekend strategy, you also might want to adopt my Easter basket philosophy, which is— if you can’t get it at the grocery store, you’re not trying hard enough.

Also? It helps if the baskets are small, which the grocery store can most certainly help you with. Amen and amen. #easterbasketslackersunite

What I lack in Easter basket finesse, I make up for in food.

(Please see exhibit A.)

And after years of Pinterest-like Easter basket prowess, I’ve given it up for greener pastures. Gift cards and grocery store sundries are where it’s at.

Trust me on this.)

I do make a pretty serious commitment to keep the schedule light and the food over-the-top. And not the other way around.

I celebrate spring victories, like tulips……

and dogwoods

and perfect (unedited) sunsets.

I try to savor this…….

and this…….

and this…..

I give myself the gift of a good book and some poetry and some much needed perspective.

I try to remember the magic that every single day holds if I care enough to stop and notice.

The world IS charged with the grandeur of God. And morning comes again.

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.

    It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;

    It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil

Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?

Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;

    And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;

    And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil

Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;

    There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;

And though the last lights off the black West went

    Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs —

Because the Holy Ghost over the bent

    World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

Are you working toward holidays that really reflect your hope for your family? What is one thing you would change if you could?

Me? I’d hire The Avett Brothers to play music on our porch all day.

Why Marriage is So Hard

January 22, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 138 Comments

whymarriageishard

“Now, I see, my most constant mistake, is I don’t know what I love till its gone.”

You’re sitting smack dab in the middle of the hardest thing in your life—your marriage. How do I know? Because I am too and I know how the days can seem dark.

You’re probably not gonna like my answer, but I think I know why being married is so hard. It’s not because women are from Venus and men are from Mars. It’s not because Scripture is old-fashioned and marriage is passe. I don’t even think it’s because modern times are so much more volatile to marriage than previous ages, though they may be.

The reason marriage is so hard is because you’re more sinful than you think you are.

You don’t yet grasp the depths of your own depravity. You want your own way. You think your faults are less offensive than his. You justify yourself in a thousand ways and give yourself every benefit of the doubt. But, his faults and sins are magnified to you. You’re convinced that you give more in the relationship. You are always the hero in your mind. Or maybe it’s just me.

I’ve stayed mad for 3 days because he fails to acknowledge all that I do around here, only to realize that I never once told him thank you for going to work so faithfully all these years—for shouldering the financial responsibility of this gang of kids like a rock. For coming home every single night. For staying when staying seemed so very difficult. Never complaining. Never asking to win an award or be noticed. Just steady and sure and strong.

You are not yet what you ought to be and so God has been gracious to place you in this very relationship, because He means to sanctify you and bring you to repentance. This relationship is hard because it’s life and death. What you do here means everything. And you can grumble about the myriad of things that are wrong in this union or you can start to see it how God sees it—as a sacred picture of what He is doing to redeem the world. Christ is the bridegroom and we are the bride. And we will finally be lovely because He has so loved us, not the other way around.

God knew what He was doing when He gave you this particular person. He knew the flaws in your character and personality that this person could sharpen. He knew that this person could expose the sins you try to cover and hide. He knows better than you what you need and the sooner you submit to Christ and His purposes in your life, the sooner you will see what He is up to in your marriage. This relationship is not for your happiness, it is for your redemption. He is not trying to make your comfortable, He is desperate to make you holy.

He will go to any lengths to transform you because He loves you so much.

So, what about all his sins, you say? Oh, I know. He is not what he should be either. He has been a failure at being Christ for you. He is selfish and unkind. He’s been untrue and weak and childish. He doesn’t cherish you the way he should. His love has so seldom been sacrificial.

That’s why I’m so glad that we begin every Sunday morning service with confession and absolution. We stand shoulder to shoulder, he and I, and say what has been so hard to say all week long. And we say it together.

“Most merciful God, we confess that we are by nature sinful and unclean. We have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart and we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.”

I stand there holding the weight of the world—my most grievous sins always against the ones with which I share the pew. I barely make it through those words most weeks because I know what I am and I know how I fail. This is not some “generic” neighbor I’ve sinned against. And his have torn me apart too. We are faltering and crumbling every day, until these beautiful words restore what we keep trying to tear down.

“Almighty God in His mercy has given His Son to die for you, and for His sake, forgives you all your sins.”

God doesn’t overlook what you done. He sees it all and yet calls you forgiven and redeemed. Every week—this gift, of restoration, healing and grace, that astounds us and brings such peace. Words that He paid dearly to speak to us. Words that have power to do what they say. Words that reach back into the mess we’ve made of so many strings of days.

In the briefest of moments, I glimpse eternity. I see that this day is not just another block of 24 hours, but a day that always has been and always will be. Maybe, a day marred by my tired rebellion and refusal to give up my ground. Or just maybe, a day staked with my broken confession and the Blessed Absolution that comes from knowing He has redeemed every single hour for His glory. This day will come and go and then DAY will be gone. Eternity is breaking through, shouting from beyond—that all this matters and that in the end, only Love will be left standing, as He holds us both in His glorious Light, darkness falling away around us like a dream.

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lakedaysunset

Press play to listen to Day is Gone by Noah Gundersen

Day is Gone

If you’re new around here? Thank you for visiting my blog! I’m honored you’re here and I hope you’ll find some encouragement (and some laughter!) for your days. Visit my about page, which highlights some of my popular posts or will at least show you a peak into my crazy people. You can subscribe to this blog by email here. I am currently addicted to Pinterest, so follow at your own risk I also post updates to Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

4 Resolutions Every Mom Needs to Make

January 10, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 12 Comments

resolutionsformoms

I may have an unhealthy obsession with the New Year. Fresh starts are like cool, mountain air to me. Maybe it has something to do with my January birthday or my tendency to want to hunker down, but January is one of my favorite months. I read a lot of books, make a lot of soups, and cozy up together on the sofa at night with my peeps and my brand new journal to write goals and plans in a fit of terrific passion and inspiration.

This year was a little different for me. I talk a lot about serving others at my blog—so much so that I wrote a little ebook on the Heart of Hospitality—a little primer on serving the people in your life. I think we’re often plagued with the haunting question of WHAT IS MY LIFE’S PURPOSE, that we forget the important work we already do everyday for the people we love. We are already serving our neighbor in so many important ways—especially the “neighbors” who live in our house. The little phrase, “Just do the next thing your neighbor needs,” kept swirling in my head.

Don’t worry, I still made THE LIST. You know the one—that says run a half marathon, make a quilt, write a book, get a book deal, make homemade donuts, etc. I’m not the queen of resolutions for nothing. But, it hasn’t been the most pressing thing on my heart. I really want to serve my neighbor in better more meaningful ways and it reminded me how often our (my) resolutions are pretty self-centered. So, I made a new list that read something like this—listen better to my children, show kindness when it’s hard, laugh more with my family, inspire don’t demand—all things my children and family need a heaping helping of in a harsh and unkind world. Follow me over to Ruth’s place and I’ll tell you all about that list……

What People Really Need From You

December 9, 2013 by Edie Wadsworth 20 Comments

True hospitality isn’t about inviting people into your perfect home; it’s about inviting them into your imperfect heart.

guest room2

I was so blessed this weekend to have some wonderful friends come to visit. Darlene and her beautiful family, including her newest little addition, Georgia Lu, came for a quick visit for breakfast. I had just begun getting my house ready for Christmas, so I was in that awesome state of pumpkins on the porch and fresh Christmas greens in the house. I so wanted to get my house a little more festive, but Advent has me all conflicted—wanting to go slow and wait and savor every minute. So, I left the pumpkins on the porch and tried not to apologize. I can get so wrapped up in making sure everything is “perfect” that I forget about what’s really important. This post is a reminder mostly to me. Hope it helps you remember, too.

guestroom7

Wanna know what guests really need from you when they come to your house to visit?

Sure, they’d like a comfortable place to sleep, a pretty little room with a desk, some chocolates, fresh water to drink, a comfortable pillow, a lamp for night time reading, and maybe even a few of the latest magazines. If there’s time and energy, they’d be tickled if you cooked them some good food and made a batch of mimosas. But all that is in vain if you don’t give them the one thing they really came for—you.

We have a million reasons why we don’t fully give ourselves to others. We hold back. We try to impress. We judge and we worry that they’re judging, too. We don’t think our house is good enough or we think it’s too good. We fear that we are too much and not enough. We keep our hearts and our doors locked up tight because we have failed to see the image of God in the eyes of every single person we meet. We hide behind screens and jobs and inflated self-importance. We hide behind all kinds of things that seem important.

But, these relationships where we live our lives are holy ground. When we are in the presence of others, we are in the presence of Christ himself.

And if we will open our hearts to others, we will never be the same—–because true hospitality is transforming.

It is an openness to know and love our neighbor that can only come from Love incarnate—- from the One who so wanted to know us that He crawled into our skin and became a man. The one who so loved us that He drug Himself, half-dead to a cross to die for us. His hospitality toward us wasn’t an afterthought or a means to impress others. His hospitality was dangerous.

Holy ground always is.

But He came right into our mess and broke down every barrier to get to us.

He gave no thought to what it would cost Him.

Yet, we spend our entire lives building those walls back in a desperate effort to protect ourselves, to hide our secret sins, and to guard ourselves from heartache. May He tear it all down and expose us and make us vulnerable. May He jar us awake from our selfish slumber so that we learn to see His children through His eyes and may He forgive us for every time we fail.

Invite others into your life and learn to see them with eyes of Mercy. Treat them with honor—not for who they are, but for whose they are.

guestroom3

—an edited excerpt from my Hospitality ebook

If you’re new around here? Thank you for visiting my blog! I’m honored you’re here and I hope you’ll find some encouragement (and some laughter!) for your days. Visit my about page, which highlights some of my popular posts or will at least show you a peak into my crazy people. You can subscribe to this blog by email here. I am currently addicted to Pinterest, so follow at your own risk. I also post updates to Facebook,Instagram, and Twitter.

Meditations on Mothering

September 24, 2013 by Edie Wadsworth 24 Comments

She buried her head into my neck and cried red, hot tears. She already feels the sting of life and we sit in her bed and bear it together. It might as well be the weight of the world. Joy unspeakable awaits her, but so does heartbreak. How do I tell her that this is only the tip of the iceberg? How do I teach her what I’m still trying to know?

I protect her and love her and I listen to everything she doesn’t say. She looks at me with eyes that know. She needs my truth and my story because her battles will be impossible sometimes. She will know loneliness and loss and betrayal. She will walk through fire and hard rain. She will know heights of joy she never thought possible and the depths of sorrows unspeakable.

This is what it means to be a woman—covered in roses and babies and secrets and pain.

So, I sit awhile and teach her to be a mother; to nurture and love and serve, to show kindness and mercy in a world hell bent on hate and greed and death.

I stay. I tidy up the room, but always I stay.

And she mothers me, too, in ways she’ll never know.

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Mary you’re covered in roses, you’re covered in ashes
You’re covered in rain
You’re covered in babies, you’re covered in slashes
You’re covered in wilderness, you’re covered in stains
You cast aside the sheet, you cast aside the shroud
Of another man, who served the world proud
You greet another son, you lose another one
On some sunny day and always stay, Mary

Jesus says Mother I couldn’t stay another day longer

Flies right by me and leaves a kiss upon her face
While the angels are singin’ his praises in a blaze of glory
Mary stays behind and starts cleaning up the place, Mary

She moves behind me
She leaves her fingerprints everywhere
Everytime the snow drifts, everytime the sand shifts
Even when the night lifts, she’s always thereJesus said Mother I couldn’t stay another day longer
Flys right by me and leaves a kiss upon her face
While the angels are singin’ his praises in a blaze of glory
Mary stays behind and starts cleaning up the placeMary you’re covered in roses, you’re covered in ruin
you’re covered in secrets
Your’e covered in treetops, you’re covered in birds
who can sing a million songs without any words
You cast aside the sheets, you cast aside the shroud
of another man, who served the world proud
You greet another son, you lose another one
on some sunny day and always stay
Mary

(Patty Griffin and Emmylou Harris)