confessions

We Belong Together

October 27, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 54 Comments

fallcolors

It’s been a rough month, I’ve got no lies to tell.

I’m sorry for being MIA for so long without checking in here. I have been posting some on Instagram, but otherwise, I’ve been swimming in the deep waters of my book trying my best to finish on time. It’s due this weekend so your prayers would mean so much. Thank you for checking in on me, sending me notes and emails and texts. You so mean the world to me and I can’t thank you enough for the ways you’ve blessed and encouraged me. For the past 6 1/2 years that I’ve been writing in this space, you’ve seen the best parts of my life. My book will take you to some of the worst. In advance, I pray that the words I’ve struggled so hard to write will give you hope, that you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt to what extent your Father will go to see you redeemed. His work in my life has been nothing short of a miracle.

Going back to the hard parts of the past has been grueling and painful but freeing and necessary. But to be honest, I’m ready to write about cakes and boots and unicorns. AND? I do have a few great new recipes to share with you soon. I also have some super AWESOME stuff to share with you in my upcoming newsletter, which goes out at the end of this week. If you haven’t subscribed, you’re gonna want to. I’ve commissioned a friend of mine to do an awesome printable for us as a free download, along with the meal plan and a short writing sample from my book. Sign up here, dear friends!

To illustrate the current state of my mind, I went for 6 out of 8 days where I wore this outfit. Please don’t judge. I did shower and change other garments (ahem), but it just seemed to hard too hunt for different clothes when these were laying right there on the chair by my bed.

I may need to be supervised and possibly placed in assisted living for a short time after my manuscript is turned in.

pixie

On the bright side, I made the BEST EVER BEEF STEW, which you should totally make this week for your people. This is how I apologize profusely to my family for what they’ve had to endure the last few weeks and months. This is like love and forgiveness and absolution all in one pot. It’s the glory of October. It’s the one pot wonder of the world. But, I digress.

We either serve it with cornbread or with garlic toast. Either way, this is so unbelievably good. Is it the bacon fat? the wine? the cream? I don’t know but what I do know is, Stevie as much as asked if we could renew our vows after I made this. #trueloveeats

beefstew

Coming soon to a blog near you when said blogger has turned in her book and slept for two weeks straight—braided bread or challah. THE BEST! Holla, challah! (as my Instagram friends pointed out). And it’s so fun to bake for company because it looks so fanciful and precious. Also, it’s one of my very favorite things in the entire world to make and eat.

braidedbread

In other news, I went to Allume last week and met up with my editors and some of my favorite people in the world. I slept very little, danced very much, was encouraged and inspired to keep on trucking, and hugged so many familiar faces that have made my life so full and rich.

It reminded me that we belong together. You and me. What we have here on these internets is pretty special. Sophie’s keynote will do your heart good because it will remind you what an honor it is for us to be a part of each other’s lives. I want to honor you. I want to honor my other writer friends. I hold you in the highest esteem and want you to know that I am cheering you on. Thank you for showing up everyday in the lives of your people. And thank you for showing up in mine.

Love you and see you soon,

edie

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When the Truth Comes Out

October 6, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 84 Comments

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down to a typewriter and bleed.” Ernest Hemingway

I woke up at 3:15 on Saturday morning and crawled out of bed, fumbling around on the floor for my computer. I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep so I made my way to the living room where I knelt down on the floor beside the sofa and prayed, “Please give me the courage to tell the truth. I need You. Amen.” And with only the angst in my stomach for fuel, I began to write about the hardest year of my life.

I kept getting stuck. I kept wanting to skirt around the truth, wanting to say what needed to be said, but guarding the deepest hurt and shame like a fractured bone. I wanted to tell the truth but so strong was the desire to protect myself. I wrestled with it until I finally had the courage to write one true sentence. Hemingway said, “Write hard and clear about what hurts. All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest thing you know.” [Read more…] about When the Truth Comes Out

On Humility, Parenting, and Being Teachable

September 29, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 36 Comments

When he was four years old, he walked in with me to a Gross Anatomy lecture, his smile a mile wide and his tousled hair with his signature cowlick making him the cutest thing since sliced bread. He wasn’t feeling well (or just wanted to spend the day with mom?) and since the lectures were only supposed to last an hour or two, I toted him in with a stack of BatMan paraphernalia, knowing that he’d sit quiet and play until class was over. Typical first born he was—obedient, eager to please, driven to succeed.

Now 24 with a tamed colic but the same wide smile, he’s sitting in Gross Anatomy without me, himself a first year medical student, as eager and driven as ever, same magnanimous personality as when he won over the hearts of my classmates 20 years ago. [Read more…] about On Humility, Parenting, and Being Teachable

Homeschooling?, Book Writing, & Ordinary Days

September 22, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 93 Comments

“Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself.” ~William Martin

We sit back to back in the workroom, working separately but together. She’s writing a summary of the early Renaissance for her online history class and I’m eating oatmeal with honey and bacon, finishing up some loose ends of Chapter 1 that I ALMOST finished this weekend. She asks a few questions, but mostly we work in quiet, letting the fullness of morning kiss us with its filtered light. The psalm for the day is still twirling in my head, “Behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers (or sisters) dwell in unity.” (Psalm 133)

On the best days, I write a portion of the psalm down and revisit it during the day.

The sliding door in the kitchen is open and even from two rooms away, I almost need a jacket. I’m fighting with every ounce of discipline not to leave my work behind and go start a fire on the back porch and read a novel and she’s antsy to take a break too. Maybe once my work is done? I decide to quickly strip my bed because Monday is always a good day for washing sheets. She belts out Les Mis from the other room while I think, wow, what a pretty voice and what 12 year old knows all the words to every song from Les Mis? This one is a humdinger and she’s pretty fun to hang out with all day. Good and pleasant, yes. [Read more…] about Homeschooling?, Book Writing, & Ordinary Days

The Spirit of the Lord and the Magic of Being Loved

September 15, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 119 Comments

tolove

I got an email this weekend that brought me to my knees.

A woman whose life looks perfect to everyone around her but is burning to the ground as she watches in disbelief. And it doesn’t look like help is coming. It doesn’t appear to be one of the stories with a tidy, happy ending. I read stories like hers in my inbox every week. Sometimes, the story is mine. This is where we are. This is the truth about us all, at one time or another in our lives. I’ve been there more times than I can count.

When our literal house burned to the ground, there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. The firefighters came and worked in the freezing cold as hard as they could to no avail. Sometimes things just burn. But as I sat on the frozen ground and watched flames reach up toward the night sky, I noticed the blanket that my neighbor had wrapped around me, the warm cup of coffee someone brought, the arms of my family, that comforted me when even words were too painful. For a few hours, no one even worried about the whats and the whys. They just showed up and sat with us and brought us the comfort of not being alone. [Read more…] about The Spirit of the Lord and the Magic of Being Loved

The Most Important Thing to Remember About Parenting

September 8, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 47 Comments

The sun was pouring into the east sky, scattering orange like a blanket over everything. She was sitting in the front seat, unable or unwilling to look at me, her head turned decidedly away and her body clinging to her side of the car sending its message loud and clear. Was there a tear in the corner of her eye? I don’t know because I was too angry to ask. We were on our way to a rare social gathering and I just needed her to get over herself already. What I was really thinking is that I wanted her to show my friends how well homeschooling was working out, how smart and well adjusted she was, how pleasant and kind to be around—all of which would translate into some imaginary points for me. What I didn’t want was for her to sulk through the whole thing and make me look bad.

And we were running out of time, because we were almost there and neither of us seemed capable of moving toward reconciliation. [Read more…] about The Most Important Thing to Remember About Parenting