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Surround Them With Beauty

July 11, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 15 Comments

This is part 3 of a 4 part series on Creating An Environment of Learning. The start of the series, along with links to parts 1 and 2 can be found here. It may surprise you that I have included ‘beauty’ as a cornerstone for learning. I hope you will soon agree that it is essential to awaking the soul to curiosity. We will explore beauty in nature, in the home, and in you.

beau·ty n.
The quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality.

Beauty in Nature

It would only take a brief look out your window to realize that God is the essence of beauty. His creation tells us something about His heart. It is magnificent, powerful, and beautiful. He has, with reckless abandon, lavished His beauty on the world. We stand in awe of the landscapes of nature; the clear, crystal force of a moving river, the delicate colorful petals of a flower, the gentle sway of a tree moving in the breeze. God is the penultimate artist. The Creator of all things has not made a world merely of function—He has chosen the wonder and beauty of the world as a means to draw us back to Himself. Beauty is transcendant. It reaches to the soul—it inspires us, and invites us—to know and to love.

And God has ‘spared no expense’ at providing us with a world filled with delightful sights. At every turn, we see His handiwork. And we must teach the little ones to notice. We can do that in countless ways but one way is to expose them to the great artists of the past who have seen and captured the details of life in startling ways. Charlotte Mason in her book A Philosophy of Education, says that in order to prepare children to live aesthetically,

“….their education should furnish them with whole galleries of mental pictures, pictures by great artists, old and new; with these pictures by great masters hanging permanently in the halls of their imagination, which has the property of magical expansion.”

Photography has a similiar power, to capture the smallest details of birds, flowers, and landscapes, that children can learn to look for and appreciate. We must teach them to appreciate the beauty around them. That usually requires a slower pace of life, that seems hard to attain these days. Stevie has taught the kids so much about watching birds and identifying trees and plants. We keep a field guide for birds handy so that we can look up the details of what we’ve seen. They seem to learn so much more when they learn ‘in context’ versus when they learn in a forced setting of ‘now we’re gonna study birds’. They don’t ask, “Is this gonna be on the test?” They are genuinely eager for knowledge unless we snuff it out of them by teaching them to only desire the rewards of knowledge (grades, money, ice cream). Knowledge is its own reward. And so is beauty. And this God given appetite for beauty must be nourished. The body needs food , the mind needs knowledge, and the soul needs beauty. Ultimately beauty comes from God and calls us to eternity.

Beauty in the Home

Creating an aesthetically pleasing atmosphere in your home is important and it doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. Everyone benefits when time and care is taken to make your surroundings beautiful. Beauty invites us to ‘stay a while’, to relax, to enjoy ourselves. This can be achieved in a myriad of ways from playing classical music in your home, to bringing in fresh flowers, to lighting candles, to hanging artwork. Your children will be nourished by the very surroundings in which they live.

I would go a step farther and say that creating beautiful, nutritious meals is an important way to literally ‘nourish’ our families. This is the perfect time of year, with summer’s bountiful harvest, to practice making meals that are both healthy and appealing. Take the time to use a tablecloth, set the table, use cloth napkins, and make a simple centerpiece of flowers or clippings from your yard. We all have to eat several times a day, so attack meal planning as if it were a job. There is comfort and tremendous ‘soul’ nourishment to children when they come in from playing to the smell of fresh bread or homeade cookies. And just as our Father has lavished on us beauty and nourishment in abundance, we can share the same gift with our families.

Beauty in You

This category is, to me, the most important. The point was driven home a few years ago when I read the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. They devote a whole chapter to the power of a woman truly ‘unveiling her beauty’ to the world. I’ve given this book to my daughter to read because it changed the way I viewed my own physical and spiritual life. They describe the essence of a woman as beauty; that ‘Eve’ (woman) is the very incarnation in human form of the beauty of God. And they go on to describe that beauty is not some ‘conjured up’ set of external qualities, but is instead the essence of what God has already put inside of us. We don’t strive to ‘gin up’ beauty, we simply let down the veil—to our hearts—to the part of us that inspires, comforts, speaks, invites, and nourishes. We let down our guard to the beauty God has placed there, making ourselves available and vulnerable. And we do that by being ‘at rest’, ‘at peace’ with who God has made us to be.

“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters……Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.” Isa. 55:1,2

Eldredge says,

“A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest…..she exudes a sense of calm, and invites those around her to rest as well……she speaks comfort….she offers others the grace to be and the room to become….in her presence, we can release the tension and pressure that so often grip our hearts…..Her spacious beautiful soul invites other to come, to be, to taste see that the Lord is good…A woman who makes herself vulnerable and available for intimacy invites others to do the same….in her presence, you can breathe again, you are free to be you….she unveils her beauty and invites you to life.

Oh, how I long to be a woman like that. So often our hurts and insecurities keep us from unveiling the beauty in our hearts. We fail. We protect ourselves. We draw the curtain tight so that noone will have the chance to hurt us. But God invites us to His table, where we once again obtain forgiveness and find the strength to make our hearts available. If there is one thing our family and our world needs, it’s to see us without the veil, offering our hearts and our presence ‘full of tender mercy and gentle vulnerability’.

It will invite them to true life.

It will captivate them.

It will awaken their very souls to the beauty and paradox of God’s redemption.

I am linking this post with Melissa’s Beautiful Life Series at The Inspired Room. Be sure to visit other posts on capturing life’s beautiful moments.

"Surround Them With Books"

July 6, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 16 Comments

This is part two in a series entitled Creating an Environment of Learning for Your Children. We will explore the power of books as a guidepost to your child’s educational and spiritual development while inspiring them to a rich inner life that leads to greatness. I hope to give you some resources that will inform and equip you but most of all, I hope to encourage you and your children to read the great classic books of the past, and to use those books as a cornerstone for your life.

Our culture seems to have all but forsaken the written word. We live in an image-obsessed age where ‘screens’ have completely invaded every part of our lives. Even most of our churches have been invaded by the big screen. And when we do read, it’s usually something written in the last 2 years, or worse the last 2 days. We have become unfamiliar with and ungrateful for the wealth of great writers, intellectuals, and heroes that have shaped the very way of life we now deem so precious. And you might ask, what is so wrong with a society that has become subjugated to images? What about the old adage ‘a picture is worth a thousand words?’ Gene Veith’s book Reading Between the Lines begins with a powerful first chapter on the importance of the written word.

As television turns our society into an increasingly image-dominated culture, Christians must continue to be people of the Word. When we read, we cultivate a sustained attention span, an active imagination, a capacity for logical analysis and critical thinking, and a rich inner life. Each of these qualities, which have proven themselves essential to a free people, is under assault in our TV-dominated culture. Christians, to maintain their Word-centered perspective in an image-driven world, must become readers.

Vieth quotes Neil Postman who wrote extensively on the subject of image-dominate media.

Postman explores the differences between the mental processes involved in reading and those involved in television watching. Reading demands sustained concentration, whereas television promotes a very short attention span. Reading involves (and teaches) logical reasoning, whereas television involves (and teaches) purely emotional responses. Reading promotes continuity, the gradual accumulation of knowledge, and sustained exploration of ideas. Television, on the other hand, fosters fragmentation, anti-intellectualism, and immediate gratification.

So, how do we ‘get back on track’? How do we turn back the tide and reclaim our children from the images that dominate our culture? The best way to is to set the example yourself. A Thomas Jefferson Education lays out a clear plan.

“Set the example by reading, pondering, writing about and discussing classics, sharing your love and ideas with your students (children). Then they get inspired, go to work, find the study difficult, and come back to you for encouragement.”

We NEED books. We must turn off the screens . We need to teach our children that reading is THE most important part of their education. Teaching them to read great books is likely the single most important thing you can do for their educational development and for their spiritual growth.

For Their Educational Development

1. Reading reinforces the truth that we alone are responsible for our own learning. We’ve been handed a pernicious lie in our society. We expect someone to teach us the things we need to know. We have been taught to pawn off the responsibility of our learning to someone else. We are taught the learn the bare minimum: the ‘Will this be on the test’ mentality. And this mind-set wreaks havoc on one’s desire and love for learning. Learning is hard work. It takes time, sustained concentration, and some solitude— three things we seem to all be in short supply of. We want ‘sound bites’ instead of depth and spoon feeding instead of the difficulty of ‘digesting’ difficult vocabulary and complex sentence structure.

2. Reading great books connects us with great minds and thinkers of the past, who have been where we are, faced what we face, and have often done so with a dignity and character that can rarely be found in modern society. We learn the stories of Cleopatra, Esther, Augustine, Prince Caspian, King Arthur, and Tom Sawyer; stories of redemption and adventure that inspire us to greater and nobler pursuits in our own life. Nothing personal against modern writers, but there’s little to inspire my 7 year old from a Junie B. Jones book. She can learn disrespectful language almost anywhere. But introduce her to the sisters of Little Woman or the adventures of Joan of Arc and then watch the magic begin. Next thing you know, she’s staging tea parties and pretending to ride on horseback, and without ever verbalizing it, she’s creating a rich inner life. Where her thoughts and dreams become entangled with those of the heroines she’s read about; where she begins to come alive and believe that she is part of a grand story.

3. It inspires us to be creative, industrious, and virtuous. I cannot count on my hands the times this year my girls have read a great book and then been inspired to make or invent something or to draw and paint or to bake and sew. It’s true for me too. Great books change us. They change the way we look at the world. They change the way we see ourselves. They move us to stretch our minds, to challenge our assumptions, to grow, and to refuse to stop learning.

For Their Spiritual Development

1. Christianity is a faith based on WORDS. We have a historic tradition that has been handed down to us as words on a page. We, of all people, must be people who read and value the written word. Our very life and faith depends on it. God warned His people early on about ‘graven images’. Pagan societies have always been image-centered and we seem determined as a culture to let images be our master. Veith says this tendency toward image and emotion has invaded our church life as well:

As evangelicals, we too are tempted to conform to the world rather than to the Word, just as the children of Israel were tempted by their neighbors’ graven images and the thought-forms these embodied. We too often stress feeling rather than truth. We tend to seek emotional religious experiences rather than the cross of Jesus Christ. Because we expect worldly “blessings,” we do not know how to endure suffering. We want to “name it and claim it”—instantly—rather than submit ourselves without reservation to the will of God. We are impatient with theology, and we dismiss history, thus disdaining the faith of our brothers and sisters who have gone before us and neglecting what they could teach us. We want entertaining worship services—on the order of a good TV show—rather than worship that focuses on the holiness of God and His Word. We want God to speak to us in visions and inner voices rather than in the pages of His Word. We believe in the Bible, but we do not read it very much.

2. Christians should be a well-informed and thinking people. Sustained serious reading, when modeled by parents, will teach children the value of personal discipline. It’s easier to watch Stuart Little than to read it. It’s far easier to watch Ben Hur than to read and memorize and meditate on the Ten Commandments. But as we know, anything worth having is worth working hard for. We must model for them the dedication and discipline it takes to educate ourselves. It will inspire them to seek truth on their own and equip them to identify falsehoods and posers.

The Practical Side—What to Do Now?

~Literally, surround them with great books. Start building a library of great books. Antique stores are often a great place to find classic books cheap. And most book stores have a section of classic literature and they are usually the cheapest books in the store. Try yard sales or Goodwill. The point of reading classics is that you’ll want to read them over and over again, so start accumulating your own copies.

~Visit the library often and monitor what they get—a few ‘fluff’ books won’t hurt them, but teach them to search out quality works too. I followed the Well-Trained Mind advice and make them get a biography, historical work, science-related book and then whatever else they want–each week.

~Give books as gifts—it teaches them that you truly value the printed word.

~Read to them, have them read to you, provide ample opportunity to listen to audio books, memorize poetry, bible passages, or quotes. ie……WORDS are important. WORDS are AMAZING!

~Make reading fun. Snuggle with them, stop and talk about the characters, ask them anticipatory questions to see how their logical skills are developing, and most of all, pick great books. Do interesting projects based on the books you read. Cook food from the time period or country from which the book was written. Use online cliff notes such as sparknotes to aid in your own understanding of plot, setting, and character analysis.

~ Having a plan for your reading will increase your success. I use The Well-Educated Mind to educate myself. It lays out a reading plan that can be tailored to meet your time constraints. I even started a bookclub based on this book and you can join us online this fall, as we tackle great thinkers like Plato, deToqueville, and Thomas Paine. If you don’t have a group to read with, join us this fall. It’ll at least give you a deadline, which is key for me finishing difficult books.

So, if we can agree that we should read, the next question is what to read. All books are not created equal. What is a great book? There are many definitions, but any book that can be read over and over again without you wanting to poke sharps objects through the your eardrums is usually a great book. And as much as I loved reading Twilight, I never once thought of reading it again. You can easily ‘get it all’ in the first time through. Not so with The Hobbit. Or Treasure Island. Or even Beatrix Potter.

There are many available lists of recommended books for children. I like this one, which you might argue contains only books written at least 90 years ago or longer. This one is very much more comprehensive and is broken down by ages, starting from birth.

My most important advice, open a classic and keep turning the pages. Great books are challenging, but as you exercise that part of your brain, it gets stronger and more fit for the task. There is no substitute for reading the great works of the past.

Happy Reading!

P.S. I just posted a new post for Rhoda’s thrifty treasures party. Visit here to see everyone’s ‘finds’.

Surround Them With Mentors

July 1, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 15 Comments

Learning to knit from a great mentor, my mother-in-law

This is the first part of a four part series on Creating an Environment of Learning for your children. Read the introduction here.

I read a book recently, A Thomas Jefferson Education by Oliver Van DeMille, which I will refer to as TJED, that inspired and challenged me to rethink the way I’ve approached home education and learning in general. In the book, DeMille describes three types of education: conveyor belt education which teaches the students what to think (most of our schools are this type–where all students learn the same thing at the same time), professional education which teaches students when to think (this is particular training for a particular field like law, medicine, engineering, etc), and then leadership education which teaches students how to think (this type is what most of the educated people of the past received including our forefathers).

He purports that societies function best when all three types of education are present, the problem is that conveyor belt education has taken over. It is rare in America to find students who are being trained to be leaders. And just because your children are being educated at home or at expensive private schools doesn’t mean they’re being trained as leaders either; likely, they are not. Most home schools and private schools, without even realizing it, have adopted the conveyor belt model.

So, how do we train our children to be leaders in our society? He makes two basic recommendations, the classics (be it classic literature, art, music) and mentors. And he uses the example of highly educated men like Thomas Jefferson to drive his point home. Jefferson worked extremely hard to obtain a superb education with a depth and breadth of knowledge that has rarely been duplicated. To quote a beautiful artistic tribute to him by Maria Kalman (thank you Patty for the link), “he was a scientist, philosopher, statesman, architect, musician, naturalist, zoologist, botanist, farmer, bibliophile, inventor, wine connoisseur, mathmatician, governor of Virginia, US minister to France, vice president, and president of the United States of America”. He learned to speak Latin, Greek, Spanish, Italian, French and knew more than ten Native American dialects, and was an accomplished attorney and businessman. And he was educated like so many scholars and leaders who have gone before us: by reading and studying the great classic works and by discussing ideas with his mentor, George Wythe.

Parents are childrens’ first and most natural mentors. And DeMille encourages parents to adopt a style of mentoring your children, rather than demanding certain tasks from them. The word mentor dates back to Homer when he wrote of the adventures of Odysseus. When Odysseus left for the Trojan War, he left Mentor in charge of his son Telemachus.

In modern times, this word has come to mean counselor, trusted friend, one who leads by example. It would sound more like, “Let’s read”, instead of “Go read”. Or “Let’s play” versus “Go play”. We all can think of people in our lives or in our childrens’ lives who are great mentors. I think of Grandma Evadne, Steve’s mom, who seems to always teach the little ones by involving them in whatever she’s doing, whether it’s knitting or cooking or singing a song or telling a story. I look forward to her visits because I know I’ll learn something new and my girls will enjoy the gentle guiding and teaching of their grandmother. We must learn to take advantage of the skills and passions of those who are more knowledgeable and experienced than we. They are often most enthusiastic to teach us and pass their knowledge on to the next generation.

Even as our children get older, mentoring them doesn’t require advanced degrees, it need only require that we’re one book ahead of them in our own studies. We read with them, to them, or maybe along side them, and then discuss the great stories and heroes. Sure, they will have coaches, music teachers, and many other adults who will mentor them, but we shouldn’t neglect the opportunity to enjoy the challenge and fruits of mentoring them ourselves.

There have been many women and men over the years who have been mentors to me. They seem harder to come by now and I find that my mentors now are often the authors I read. Hands down, the writings of C.S. Lewis have impacted me more than any other single author. There isn’t a day that goes by that his words don’t have an impact on my thinking and decisions. Thomas Jefferson is quickly becoming my new ‘crush’. I love this quote by William Channing,

“It is chiefly through books that we enjoy intercourse with superior minds…..In the best books, great men talk to us, give us their most precious thoughts, and pour their souls into ours.”

So, we all need mentors. And though you’re busy mentoring your children, don’t neglect your own need to be mentored and discipled. Steve and I tend to read the same books and then discuss the ideas together. We’re currently reading Plato (he’s a book ahead of me) and he’s soon to start the TJED book that I just read. In a way, we mentor each other. We also listen to many hours of talk radio and then discuss those ideas together too. Then, someday, when our girls’ read Plato or ponder the passive obedience of Christ, we’ll be able to mentor and encourage them from our own experience with the subject matter. I leave you with this quote from Jacques Barzun, quoted in TJED,

“Think of human parents teaching their child how to walk. There is, on the child’s side, the strong desire and latent powers: he has legs and means to use them. He walks and smiles; he totters and looks alarmed; he falls and cries. The parents smile throughout, showering advice, warning, encouragement and praise. The whole story, not only of teaching, but of man and civilization, is wrapped up in this first academic performance.”

My friend and mentor, Denise, just added a post to my Painted Patio Furniture party, so you should check out her chairs! Many thanks to Denise for introducing me to homeschooling and to blogging, my two new favorite pastimes.

Now, I’m off to do some mentoring. First on the agenda: homeade waffles. Second, chapter four of The Hobbit.

Creating an Environment of Learning in Your Home

June 29, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 14 Comments

How do you make your home a haven of learning and education for your children? I don’t have all the answers to this question, but I’m trying to learn. Over the next week or so I’ll be giving you some practical suggestions on how I’m working to achieve this in my home and then next Monday, July 5th (the date the Verity returns from their 10-day tour) I hope to have a linky party where you can share your ideas and suggestions. Some topics I plan to cover are:

~~Surround them with books~~

~~Surround them with beauty~~

~~Surround them with mentors~~

~~Surround them with love~~

Be the change you want to see in your children. You go first. Be the leader. Show them by example how to extend grace to others. Show them the difficulty and the rewards of tackling classic works like Plato and The Abolition of Man. Make your home beautiful so that they learn to live with and appreciate beauty. Talk about the deep theological questions that haunt you so that they learn how to have meaningful conversation about life’s ultimate purpose. Armor them with your reasons against abortion so that they learn to defend life. Lead them and they will be leaders. Their needs are fairly simple. They need you.…..leading them with humility.

Be honest with them, that you don’t have all the answers. And ask for their forgiveness when you fail them, as you are certain to do, daily. Let them hear your prayers, see your struggles, and even your tears. Invite them to learn along with you instead of requiring them to learn on their own.

One thing I know for sure is that I am not equipped for this task, but I’m willing to continue to grow. I say all this with a broken heart for the regret of not realizing these truths sooner. But we do what we know until we know better. I wish I could turn back the clock. As C.S. Lewis says,

We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is most progressive.

We’ll start tomorrow with mentors. I chose tomorrow for that topic because it’s the 1 year anniversary of Issues, Etc, the christian radio program that has been an educational and inspirational powerhouse for Steve and I. These brave men have mentored us in ways they may never know. And you probably can guess, but tomorrow I’ll reveal my own personal mentor.

Why I’m not a feminist

June 12, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 53 Comments

Sometimes I try to quietly sneek into the kitchen and very carefully remove ingredients and pans so as not to alert the small children. They love to ‘help’ and insist on stirring and pouring and seasoning until the symphony of,

“Can I help?”

“I wanna do that.”

“It’s my turn!”

“She won’t give me the spoon!”

It’s enough to have you fishing for the pizza delivery number. But as I remind myself that it’s my job to teach them and as I envision them making their own greek goulash with caramelized onions one day, I welcome the sous chefs gladly. They scamper outside to snip some fresh herbs and then painstakingly cut the luscious mint and parsley with scissors, their minds and mouths working as hard as their fingers, with questions like “You like to cook, don’t you mommy?” and “Do you really like eggplant?”

It’s moments like these that I am fully aware that they are watching me.

They are learning to live their lives by watching how I live mine. It’s no small responsibility to bear. This long circuitous journey that I have made through medical education, residency training and then a six year career in medical practice has finally brought me HOME. Where I have struggled to find my way. Where I am learning to ‘serve my neighbor’ in the most intimate but also seemingly mundane ways. I entered this vocation ill-prepared and ill-advised on what it meant to be a full time homemaker. And the questions that haunt me sometimes in the throws of laundry and dishes, about whether I am using my gifts to their full potential, are answered decidedly in those little eyes and hands helping me make dinner. I am making a bold statement to them.

The vocation of motherhood is honorable; instituted by God for the raising of children, for the domestication of men, and for the stabilization of society. It is His design and I’ve learned that I am most ‘female’ and truly most fulfilled when I embrace and nurture this role as wife and mother.

And that drove me to reread a few sections of a book that I read a few years ago called The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. Friedan is crowned with having started the second wave of the feminist movement and was the first president of the National Organization for Women (that’s enough to make me skeptical). I disagree with nearly every statement she makes in the book but in many ways, I’m glad I read it. I understand the feminist movement a little more clearly and realize that I am a product of a generation of women who were told that they needed to find fulfillment outside the home. Friedan compares housewifery to being in a ‘comfortable concentration camp’ and characterizes suburban housewives as chiefly unfulfilled, dependent women who have given up on intellectual interests and have no real impact on the major issues of society. She makes a few valid points but for the most part I find her conclusions flawed and riddled with the biases of someone who is driven by an agenda.

She comes across to me similiar to the way most feminists do; projecting her own misery and lack of fulfillment onto the whole of the female population and placing blame on men, religious institutions and society as a whole. She admonishes women to leave the

‘comfortable concentration camp’ to work and to be educated so that they may contribute so society in a meaningful way, thus finding true fulfillment. She says, ”

A woman must create, out of her own needs and abilities, a new life plan, fitting in the love and children and home that have defined feminity in the past with the work toward a greater purpose that shapes the future”.p. 338

Well, speaking from experience, I have never felt that I was contributing more meaningfully to society than when I decided to put my own career on hold to be home with my children. Any ‘ole Joe can refill Ralph’s prescription for hypertension, but I am the most uniquely qualified and gifted person to raise my own children and to love and serve my husband. Noone else can do that with the same passion and care. So, I want to stand up for all educated, professional women who have made an informed and conscious choice to give their lives in service to their families. I applaud you. What you do is important and powerful and instituted by God himself. There is no higher calling. There is no greater work.

Disclaimers: I am not in any way admonishing that every female should do what I have done. I am blessed with a husband who is able to provide for us financially, making it possible for me to enjoy this tremendous blessing. If I need to enter the force again, I will do what is necessary for our family. Nor am I casting judgement on women who have chosen different paths. It has been my experience that in our society, it’s the SAHM who feels a certain inferiority and who frequently questions her decision to stay home. There are many creative ways to combine outside work with home responsibilities and I personally know many women who do a fantastic job of it. When I was in the work force, I embraced the unique femininity that I brought to my vocation and tried above all else to keep my family first. Similarly, just because a woman stays home is no guarantee that she’s embracing her role and nurturing her family to her best ability. We are all sinners in need of forgiveness and whether or not we stay home or join the workforce, we do so riddled with sin and selfishness. We all need God’s grace to cover us and to give us true peace and joy!

I’ll conclude with a quote from Plato:

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.