blogging

I thoroughly enjoyed my time at Blissdom last year. I left the conference sure that I would attend it again. And it’s hard to believe that it’s just one month away. To give you time to gather your survival supplies, I wanted to do this post early. So here it is: how to survive Blissdom and have fun doing it!

If your primary purpose is to connect with other like-minded bloggers, start doing it now. Send out emails, letting your blog friends know that you can’t wait to meet them. Make plans to meet—-or shop, or share lunch or coffee. The conference schedule is packed but there’s always time for a fun rendezvous with your favorite blogger. If you’ve been dying to meet the Nester, send her a sweet message and tell her so. Meeting her was one of the highlights of the conference for me last year. And she’s just as adorable and warm and down-to-earth in real life as she is on her blog. And she wants to meet you too! {as do I}

If your primary purpose is to learn more about blogging and networking—then do as much as you can ahead of time. Spend some time on Twitter or Facebook or Flickr or Stumble Upon and learn something new about blogging or social media. The more you already know, the more you’ll gain in understanding when you’re there. And maybe most importantly, blog! You will meet new people who will start to follow your blog after Blissdom. Give them some great posts to read from your archives. Try writing one post a week that you are really proud of—–edit it and edit it again until it’s a post that you just know others will want to link to.

And work on your blog. Declutter it. Make it a friendly, inviting and informative place to visit.

Nearly everyone will have business cards for their blogs/businesses. It’s an easy way to meet and greet and then later you’ll have easy access to finding your new friends’ blogs without trying to remember the names of everyone you met. A LOT of people gave out goodies last year. I took little bags of my chocolate chip shortbread cookies to friends I knew already and a few to folks I wanted to thank for being mentors to me. If you have a business, it’s a great way to make an impression. Last year, Kristi from Pink and Polka Dot {my roommate this year} made me the cutest keychain with my name monogrammed on it. I nearly cried. Don’t feel pressure to do something like that but if you enjoy baking or sewing, it’s a good way to say “thank you” or “I have a blog crush on you” or whatever it is you want to say.

The two weeks before Blissdom, everyone will be posting about clothing and shoes and what-to-wear-to-the-cocktail party. Just be yourself. I promise you; noone cares or will remember what you wear. Stacy and Clinton won’t be there to haul you off for wearing your acid washed jeans and Valentine’s sweater. It’s fun to talk about and think about a little but it’s really not important. {small caveat: Nester had on the cutest black cocktail dress I have ever seen last year—-so it’s possible someone will remember—-but still don’t sweat it}

Jeans and a black sweater is always a safe place to start. It’s fun to take what would be plain-jane outfits and make them perfect with accessories. Make some cute felt flower pins to attach to stuff you already have.

And wear cute earrings. But for heaven’s sake don’t break the bank to try to come up with wonderful new outfits. I bet you have the perfect thing in your closet right now—-with just a little mixing and matching and accessorizing.

And though I always give it the old college try, we’re probably not gonna lose that last 10 pounds. You are most beautiful when you are comfortable in your own skin. We love you just the way you are. I promise. And we didn’t know you when you were 20 with no wrinkles and a size two. K? We’re all in this together. We’re raising kids and nurturing families and most of us bare some signs of it. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

4. Don’t let your inner 7th grader take over.

And we all know she’s in there. My inner 7th grader wears long tube socks, has a mullet and a fair amount of acne. And she’s nervous. And wondering if she’ll fit in?

“Will anyone recognize me? Know me? Will I remember names? Will I feel left out? Will it be like the lunch table at junior high where I’m looking around for somewhere to sit and hoping noone sees my anguish?

We all feel the same way. So the best remedy for you is this; do for others what you’re hoping everyone does for you. Introduce yourself. Notice if someone is alone and needs a friend. Do some research ahead of time and see who’s coming. Search them out. Make them feel welcome and offer to sit with them. I’m also asking that anyone who is coming to Blissdom alone leave a comment on this post and let’s make plans to meet at some point. And please, if you see me at at the conference and I don’t know you or recognize you, please introduce yourself. I can’t wait to meet you. You are why I’m making the trip. If it helps, imagine that every one you meet is wearing long tube socks, has a mullet and a fair amount of acne.

I’m making a list of people that I’ve never met before that I want to meet. And folks I met last year that I can’t wait to see/hug/invade their personal space. There is almost nothing like it—-seeing the person across the room that you’ve read about and grown to love—and finally meeting them face to face. So make your list. And then leave plenty of room in your heart for all the wonderful bloggers that you didn’t even know about.

Look for opportunities to be helpful and encouraging. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Noone is intentionally trying to be snobby. Some people are painfully shy in real life. Some people {I’m not naming any names but she used to have a mullet} are notorious huggers and invaders of all personal space. Many people will have their babies with them. Offer your help. Offer to fetch a soda or some crackers. Many of your fellow bloggers are in the midst of real life heartaches. Be gracious and understanding. Go the extra mile.

Tell Alli and Barbara how much you appreciate all the thankless hours of hard work they put into making the conference such a success. Tell the speakers what a great job they did. Find positive, encouraging things to say and say them, frequently. Pretty soon, your conference will be wonderful because you made it that way. You took the time to be kind and to place others ahead of yourself.

That about covers it. What did I leave off? Add your advice to the comments.

I can’t wait to see you! Make sure to leave a comment if you’re coming and especially if you’re coming alone. Heckle the mullet at your own risk—-I’m even a little afraid of my inner 7th grader!

Day 1: You click on a link to a new blog. Hmmmm. You make the following mental notes.

“Nice header.”

“No opening music—that’s good.”

“Awww, she looks sweet. Cute kids. Cool project.”

You click to a link within her post and get lost for a period of time on Martha Stewart’s craft site trying to figure out how to make those origami ornaments. But you make a mental note to visit again.

Day 5: You remember that there was a new blog that you might potentially add to your reader so you rack your brain to try to remember how you got there. Was is from Melissa’s link list? Or maybe BooMama’s blogroll? Or Nester’s lamp party? While trying to find the link, you get sidetracked 40 times and wander around in the blog wilderness confused as to how you ended up on a page that says ‘The four stages of falling in love”—but you make mental note of how similiar the stages seem to blog crushes—and you determine to write a post someday about the stages of blog friendship.

Now back to our search. You click around to blogs that you know have good blogrolls and pray you’ll recognize the name when you see it. Finally, 237 clicks later, you find it! Aw, the relief. You thought you’d ‘lost’ her forever. Her newest post is a tutorial on how to recycle old sheets into a gorgeous table runner for Thanksgiving.

“And she’s industrious. I think I like this girl.”

You bookmark her site and vow to visit again in a day or two when you have more time.

Day 10: You remember the bookmark you saved and sit down with a cup of coffee to get to know your new friend a little. You learn that she’s a reformed Baptist, has five kids, bakes a lot, has a brother serving in Iraq, wants to adopt a baby, loves to make her home beautiful, and takes incredible pictures. Yep, we’re definitely gonna be friends.

Day 20: You have periodically visited her site and searched a few different categories. You love what you see and decide that sometime in the next few weeks you’re gonna read some of her archives. You carve out some time between 11-1a and devote it completely to your new friend. You skim most of her blog posts and are enamoured with her photography, her fresh view of the world, her creative life and make a decision—despite the fact that she seems to be quite outspoken on certain issues—-that you will most certainly add her to your reader.

Day 40: You are smitten. In the last 3 weeks, she’s posted about making Texas sheet cake, the struggles she has with her strong willed toddler, the amazing Super Bowl party she threw last year, her 10 year love affair with her husband, and the reasons why she loves reformed theology. You forgive her for being in the wrong political party and decide that the blog posts you ‘skimmed’ late one night are gonna have to be read word for word. You usually read her blog outside the reader because when you’re on her actual site, you feel like you’re at home–and it allows you to comment when you want and read the comments of others.

Day 60: You start from her first blog post ever and read nearly every word she’s written. You see how she’s developed as a writer/blogger/woman. You respect her for the boundaries she hasn’t violated. You know that if you met her in real life you’d be the best of friends. You don’t agree with her on everything. She can be sarcastic and self-deprecating at times. But you are sure that you have never known anyone quite like her. She’s a remarkable woman. She inspires you on so many levels. She has shown you that being a woman, a mother, a wife is honorable and noble and good. She makes you a better person. She has been gracious to open her life to you. And you are forever thankful.

You finally decide to introduce yourself to her. You become pen pals. Friends.

You start to read her comments and feel the need to defend her if someone—who doesn’t ‘know’ her—seems to misunderstand her. You learn what her ‘community’ is like and decide to become part of it yourself.

Day 432: After months or years of ‘following’ her, you feel like you know her. You probably do know her better than some of her friends who don’t read her blog. Her posting has been a little ‘off’ lately. Is she okay? Is she struggling with something? You pray for her and hope all is well. You send her an email encouraging her. And you say a prayer of thanksgiving. For this connection—for this fellowship. That has changed your life forever. You ponder C.S. Lewis’ quote, “Eros will have naked bodies, friendship naked personalities.”

No wonder this medium fosters friendship.

We bare our souls, expose our fears, confess our frailties and pray that those who receive our words do so with compassion and understanding—-just like old friends. She is not perfect. But she is your friend and you are blessed indeed.

Sound familiar? Please tell me I’m not the only one.

I spent the better part of my twenties pursuing a dream. I slept very little and because of my tendency toward creativity (back then scrapbooking) I finished a lot of scrapbooks in the 90’s. Back then, my classmates called me “Martha”. I think that was due to the inevitable baking frenzy that would ensue when there was a Gross Anatomy test looming. Later, my patients would come to call me Dr. Edie—-kinda like Dr. Laura—-but with a southern drawl and more eye makeup.

I was drawn to medicine for many reasons but often I wonder if it wasn’t my own need for ‘healing’ that kept me going when I felt my head would explode from too much input and too little rest. Turns out, I was right. Those in the healing profession tend to broken albeit highly motivated people. And though I’m not practicing my art at present, I would never trade the gift I was given of taking the Hippocratic Oath and vowing first and foremost to ‘do no harm’. It is a privilege and a responsibility that I don’t take lightly. My patients taught me so much about what it means to truly care for someone else and that we never move past the need to stretch and learn and grow. What a paradox, to find the path to my own healing, in the quest to serve others. But that principle has its’ roots in the One great Healer—without whom there is no life.

Thirteen years of school and training (after high school) will fill your head with more facts than you could ever hope to remember. But what does it do to your heart? This nearly twenty year journey has left its’ mark on me. I am a different person in many ways but as I find myself in this medium of blogging, I find it strikingly familiar. In search of wholeness, we share our stories with each other, laying open our hearts with its’ hurts and wounds, praying that our story will find resonance and be a wellspring of hope and healing to ourselves and to others.

And in my mind, I find myself held by a vow here too—- to first ‘do no harm’. I also find that it’s a ‘privilege and responsibility that I don’t take lightly’. We all have stresses and conflicts and pain but I want this to be a place that will help you in your journey toward healing. It is the least I can do for the joy and inspiration and nourishment that you have brought to my heart.

So, in answer to the most frequent question in my inbox, “Don’t you miss working? How could you give up a career in medicine after working so hard to get it?”

Yes, I miss it. More accurately, I miss them—-the people who trusted me to care for their families. But I’m not sure this is altogether different. It’s all about relationship. And I am so thankful for you and for this online version of a very therapeutic relationship that has been such a source of growth and healing for me. They taught us in medical school that ‘people don’t care how much you know till they know how much you care’. It turns out to be true in most aspects of life.

Thank you for the way you have cared for me and my family. We pray blessings on you in return, from the One who gives perfect life, perfect peace, perfect healing.

So, while I’ve been mistreating windows with canvas dropcloths (not my original idea, but brilliant) and spray painting many things yellow (more to come on that soon)…..

…..and doing all those little things you never do until company comes…….

Darcy has performed a small miracle here at lifeingrace!   I’ll be working on adding ‘stuff’ to my sidebar categories, so just be patient.  But make yourself at home, look around a while, and check the links out (help us make sure they work) and then tell me what you think.  My

archives page is at the very bottom and along with my ‘categories’ list.

I wish I had the same good news to report about my real life projects.  It’s down to the

wire.  Graduation is tonight.  The party’s tomorrow. Hard decisions must be made. 

 Do I shower or clean the baseboards of the 

schoolroom?   Should I make gourmet appetizers or clean my closet?   Should I feign ill and curl up on the sofa in the fetal position and wallow in my bittersweet memories?  

It’s a toss up.  I think I’ll just sit here and look at my pretty blog all day. 

I definitely must get water proof mascara. 

and I am grateful you’ve been listening.

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put ’em in quotations

Say what you need to say [x8]

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Say what you need to say [x8]

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You’d better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open