31 Days of Less and More

“What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life–to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?”

We all have the same one hundred reasons why marriage and kids and family life are hard.  Life is just hard.  And life with people?  Even harder. This life takes work and nothing will require more commitment and soul-searching than marriage.  But, it’s so worth it.

This is the  most important relationship and it often falls to last on our list.  We cook the best meals and wear the best clothes for someone else.  We clean the house and use the best dishes when company is coming.

And it’s time to reorder ourselves.

This person should come first—this person, with whom we share our beds and our struggle.   We should make it our business to know what he likes and what he doesn’t.  We should make it our  life’s mission to serve him, above all others.

See him with new eyes and study him.  How can you help him?  How can you ease his burden?  How can you make him laugh?

Stop keeping score and just flirt with him, love and serve him.

You know him best so this won’t be hard for you!

 Challenge Day 26:  Spend some time today turning your bedroom into the haven it should be.  Make the bed, then clear the clutter from the dressers and put away the pile of laundry or things that don’t belong.  Dust & windex any dirty surfaces, then light some scented candles to help create a relaxing mood.  Next, make intimacy a priority.  Do something to let your husband know how much he means to you.  It could be as simple as a sweet text to let him know you are thinking of him today.  It could be a love note (Crystal is great at making this a priority!), a special meal, or a back rub after the kids have gone to bed.  It might help to revisit your wedding pictures and remember the joys of young love.  Kiss him like you mean it.

Be sure to read Ruth’s post, Less Bedroom Clutter

This is Day 25 of our 31 Days of Less and More series.  To read all the posts in order, start with Day 1 and check out our overview page to see the topics for the entire month.

A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest.  She exudes a sense of calm, and invites those around her to rest as well.  She speaks comfor, she offers others the grace to be and the room to become.  In her presence, we can release the tension and pressure that so often grip our hearts.  Her spacious beautiful soul invites other to come, to be, to taste see that the Lord is good.  A woman who makes herself vulnerable and available for intimacy invites others to do the same.  In her presence, you can breathe again, you are free to be you.  She unveils her beauty and invites you to life.  ~Staci Eldredge

I read the book Captivating Revised & Updated: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul, by Staci Eldredge, many years ago.  It changed everything about my perception of myself and what I have to offer the world.  They devote a whole chapter to the power of a woman truly ‘unveiling her beauty’ to those around her.   I’ve given this book to my daughter to read because it changed the way I saw my own physical and spiritual life.  She describes the essence of a woman as beauty; that ‘Eve’ (woman) is the very incarnation in human form of the beauty of God.

And they go on to describe that beauty is not some ‘conjured up’ set of external qualities, but is instead the essence of what God has already put inside of us. We don’t strive to ‘gin up’ beauty, we simply let down the veil—to our hearts—to the part of us that inspires, comforts, speaks, invites, and nourishes. We let down our guard to the beauty God has placed there, making ourselves available and vulnerable. And we do that by being ‘at rest’, ‘at peace’ with who God has made us to be.

Here are my favorite tips and products on making the outside match the inside!

• Smile and smile some more—True beauty comes from the heart. Attitude is everything. You can be a stunning runway model with a crabby face and matching attitude and your beauty will be scarred. But you can seek to put others first and be a good listener and smile and your beauty factor is magnified times one hundred. And it’s free so be generous with it.
• Beauty products that you must have—I wrote a whole post and made a dorky video about all the products I love.   Add to that #2 concealer from Laura Mercier.  Then add more eye shadow and you can be Tammy Faye like me!
• Hair products—I love Kate’s blog and all her hair recommendations!
• Fashion for moms- I wrote a whole post about this too.  Check it!

 Challenge Day 25:  Clean out your bathroom.  Purge the unnecessary—get rid of stuff you don’t use, duplicates, or items that are past their prime.  Find an out-of-the-way place to store the items you might eventually use, then work at creating a simple, organized system to streamline your bathroom routine.  Next, think about your best facial feature.  Is it your eyes, your lips, you hair?  What small changes can you make to accentuate your beautiful self?  It could be as simple as a wearing lipstick or mascara everyday.  Or just vowing to smile more.

 

Be sure to read Ruth’s corresponding post, Less Bathroom Clutter.

This is Day 24 of our 31 Days of Less and More series. To read all the posts in order, start with Day 1 and check out our overview page to see the topics for the entire month.

 Food is capable of feeding far more than a rumbling stomach. Food is life; our well-being demands it. Food is art and magic; it evokes emotion and colors memory, and in skilled hands, meals become greater than the sum of their ingredients. Food is self-evident; plucked right from the ground or vine or sea, its power to delight is immediate. ~Anthony Beal

Food is all that, and more, but it has become such an afterthought in our society.  To that, I say—slow down.  Enjoy the mystery that nourishes us all.  Take time to learn to cook, for sure.  And when you do, you’ll need a well-stocked pantry to cook from.  Having what you need on hand  lowers the barrier to cooking and baking.

I buy things in bulk or when they’re on sale and my pantry shelves are usually well-stocked, but it’s so easy to let it get out of hand, which leads to waste.  Just like every other part of my house, I am motivated by beauty.   So, I find that if I makes things pretty, I’m drawn to them, more apt to tend to them, and more apt to use them well.

Let’s make a pretty pantry, shall we?  (And here’s the download for the pantry stocking list!)

1. Decide on some pretty containers.

I use large glass containers (from Walmart)  for my baking supplies and keep them on the counter, ready to use!  For my dry goods, I use plastic containers (also from Walmart) and add pretty homemade labels. If you have a closet pantry, you might want a combination of baskets, glassware, and  plastic containers.

2. Labels, labels, labels

You can get fancy with this and order labels from an online shop.  I just printed my labels at home, using the champignon font at 200.  I then use clear packing tape to tape them on.  When they get dirty or dusty, I can always redo them and change the font around, if I want.

3. Take everything out

Start with a clean slate.  Take everything out of the pantry or off the shelves and group like items together.  Discard items that are expired or no longer edible. You might discover that you’ve been hoarding pasta or cake mixes, in my case.  Consider purchasing uniform containers for things like pasta, rice, and baking goods.  You’ll save space and mess if you have those items stored in airtight, uniform containers.  Wipe all the surfaces clean.

4. Put it back pretty.

I personally find lots of food packaging pretty, so I try to arrange them on my shelves so that the pretty side shows.  The uniform containers are nice for this, too, because they let you see what you have and if/when you’re running low.

5.  Maintain it.

Once a month, when you do your biggest grocery shopping trip, it won’t take long at all to revisit the pantry. If you’re like me, the kids have rearranged a lot of things in a short amount of time. Better yet, add that to their list of chores.  My girls have been wanting some new shorts for ballet, so I had them take everything out of the pantry, clean the shelves, and put everything back in order to earn their shorts.  It’s a win-win.  They get to practice very helpful task and I get a clean pantry.  I was gonna buy the shorts anyways!

*Remember, all of this organization and beautifying is so we can make our kitchens places of nourishment for the body and soul.

Challenge Day 24:  Make a date with your pantry today.  Think about what containers you need and wash them out or purchase what you need.  Create or purchase labels.  Take everything out, sort it by type, then put it back and make it pretty.  Next, make a meal plan for the next week that uses up all the food you forgot you had on hand.  For inspiration check out Edie’s recipes here or my recipes here.  Snap a photo of your pretty pantry and share it with us on Instagram or Facebook!  Be sure to use the hashtag #31DaysLessMore

Read Ruth’s corresponding post here, Less Kitchen Confusion and read Crystal’s insights on Less Paper Clutter/More Filing!

I’m leaving tomorrow morning for Allume and if you could see my closet right now, you wouldn’t trust another thing I say.  There’s boots and shape wear and flower pins galore. I don’t know why I’m fretting about what to bring, because in the end, I’ll just throw it all in there and wait for inspiration once I’m at the conference.  I appreciate those of you who’ve prayed for me.  I’m a nervous nelly about my talk.  I’m considering doing some karaoke with Melanie, to ease my nerves.  I couldn’t be more excited to see all the wonderful people who have inspired me over the years.  I’m rooming with Ruth, Paige, and Jen and can hardly wait to shower them with hugs and cookies and all kinds of southern love.

On to the business at hand.

Ruth and I  both did closet makeovers this year.  We learned a few a things that might help you in your fight against clutter and disorder in the closet.  My approach is slightly different—slightly more than hers, but there are some things we both had in common.

The first, most important barrier to tidy closet spaces is that most us have way too much.  

The more we have, the harder it will be to keep it tidy.  So, the first principle is purging. Or as Ruth calls it RUTHless purging!  Get rid of everything you don’t love.  Most of us wear 10-20% of what’s in our closets for a reason.  Those are the pieces that fit well, that we LOVE. I learned when I did this exercise that I tend to wear drapey blouses a lot, but I had a closet full of button up shirts.  I liked the color of the pattern of the shirts, but I seldom wear them because that style is not very flattering on me.  Here are a few good tips besides PURGING:

• Stop over-buying— When you find something you love, try it on and then leave the store and think about it.  Go home and check your closet.  Do you have something similar already? What is it that you love about the piece you want to buy? Do you things similar that you’re not wearing?
•  Invest in good hangers—I can’t tell you how much this revolutionized my closet. I use these hangers and they are an investment.  Buy a set at a time, until you eventually replace all your old hangers.  Make sure you purge before you buy hangers!
• Take better care of what you have—Start using homemade laundry soap.  Hang your good clothes to dry.  (I LOVE this laundry cart for that!) Wash like fabrics and color with like. In other words, don’t wash your yoga pants with towels.
• Do the rainbow closet—I have my clothes organized by color and it’s almost like a work of art.  It inspires me to keep it tidier, because it’s pretty.
• Rinse and repeat—This is not a one time gig.  Every couple months, revisit what you’ve done and keep purging/organizing.

Challenge Day 23:  Organize your closet today. Or, if that feels too overwhelming, start with just one rack. Go through every piece and remove the things you haven’t worn in a month. What percentage of the pieces are left? Examine the ones you removed and ask yourself why you don’t wear them. Not flattering? Don’t fit? Out of style? Stained or torn? Snap a before and after photo of your pared down closet and then share with us on Instagram or Facebook. Ruth and I will go first and then you can follow our lead. Use hashtag #31dayslessmore.  Over the next weeks, do this for every rack or section in your closet. Store the unwanted/unused items, if you’re not sure whether or not you want to keep them. Follow our other suggestions and get your closets in great shape.

And while you organize, revisit the Low Risin’ Blue Jeans video featuring the hilarious east TN girl, Leanne Morgan.

Read Ruth’s corresponding post, Less Closet Chaos!

This is Day 22 of our 31 Days of Less and More series. To read all the posts in order, start with Day 1 and check out our overview page to see the topics for the entire month.

“Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.”  ~Darynda Jones

This above photo is a picture of my desk, exactly NEVER.  I wish for all the world  it looked like that right now.  To make this talk about paperwork more fun, I’m posting a picture of my desk on Instagram and Facebook, in its current state of I CAN’T FIND ANYTHING,  and I’m vowing to have it pristine by nightfall.  Join in with your before and after photos.  This should be fun!  Side note:  If your before pictures are pristine, we can no longer be friends.  Or we can only be friends if you move in with me and keep my desk clean.

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If I had one piece of advice to give about paperwork, it would be this:  Throw things away.  

And being the hypocrite that I am, I look over at my desk, piled high with things that need to be sorted, filed, and tossed.  I’m nothing, if not the pot calling the kettle black.  But the point is, you have to get into the habit of throwing things away.  It’s not a one time deal.  In a perfect world, you would process your papers everyday and throw 97% of it away. But if you live in that perfect world, I need to move in and set up shop.  My world feels more like a snow globe most days and I’m grasping at the air trying to nail anything down.  I will say, though, that since I’ve begun my new filing system, I have a LOT less paperwork than ever before to deal with.  You can read about the whole system here, but the short and skinny is this:  Set up a good filing system that is easy to use, keep an incoming/outgoing box, THROW THINGS AWAY, and file what must be filed a couple times a month.

Trust me on this.  I’ve developed a low threshold for this after losing everything in our house fire.  It turns out, you don’t really need that much.  You can survive your life fairly well with very few papers in it.  And anything you really need, you can probably get from the person/company who sent it.  If you’re brutal on the front end, there’s less to process through and file and the chances are better that you’ll keep up with the system.   In my case, there’s one very important caveat—-insurance.  I have to keep every receipt of everything I buy so that I can turn it into insurance for reimbursement.   But after I’m through with this process, I’ll only keep receipts for major purchases.

Here’s where you can make your smart phone earn its keep.  I’ll give you  few examples of how I use my phone to keep my papers at bay.

• invitations, graduation announcement, or other events—add the date to my calendar on my phone and set an alarm a week ahead of the event.  If  I can attend the event, I try to RSVP (in a perfect world) and if it’s a photo announcement, I keep those in a file folder labeled keepsakes.
• wedding invitation—add the date to my phone (calendar) and take a picture of the important stuff from the invitation with my phone.  Add a note to the ‘event’ on your phone about where the couple is registered so you’ll know where to look for a gift.  Set reminder alarms.
• catalogues—I almost always throw them away because most if not all of the info can be found online and I don’t need the temptation!
• regular bills—most of mine are set up on automatic payment systems.  For the rest, I pay them and then file the monthly bill in my filing system.

Day 22 Challenge:  Tame that paper mountain that is threatening to take over your desk or countertop right now.  Give yourself an hour to tackle your piles.  Ruthlessly toss anything that isn’t necessary.  Use your phone to take pictures of invitations or other important events, add them to your calendar, and then toss the paper copy.  Start a file box, if you don’t have one already and establish an incoming/outgoing box to replace the piles that you would normally make.  Join us on Instagram today as we share our before and after photos of our paper taming.  Use the hashtag #31dayslessmore.

Be sure to read Ruth’s corresponding post, Less Paper Clutter.

This is Day 21 of our 31 Days of Less and More series. To read all the posts in order, start with Day 1 and check out our overview page to see the topics for the entire month.

(Hold Your Horses print can be purchased here!)

The practice of patience toward one another, the overlooking of one another’s defects, and the bearing of one another’s burdens is the most elementary condition of all human and social activity in the family, in the professions, and in society.  ~Lawrence G. Lovasik

I was 27 years old when I met her.  Susan Ward was the kindest, most gracious woman I have ever known.  Our sons went to school together and I had just graduated from medical school and was in residency training in family medicine.  I was working 80 hours a week, sleep deprived, bearing a heavy weight of guilt because I missed things like field trips and volunteering to work the lunch line at my children’s school.  I was short on sleep, short on patience, and short on friendship.

Susan had a smile a mile wide and the sweetest Mississippi accent. She introduced herself to me and invited my kids to play at her house after school.  That was the beginning of a relationship that changed me and the way I have parented.  I had never witnessed someone who was so patient and loving with her kids.  She didn’t see them as a distraction or a nuisance and she was constantly teaching them and telling them stories.

I watched her every move; how she was so calm during her son’s meltdowns and easily diffused the situation, how she talked so kindly to her boys when she corrected them,  and how she constantly reinforced good behavior.  She loved those boys and everybody knew it—most certainly them.  I can’t imagine how my life would be different if I hadn’t met her.

I still work at that kind of love and grace and patience, especially with the kids.

Life is stressful and there are  a hundred reasons to lose your cool everyday.  But, when you see someone show mercy and grace and kindness and patience, it stops you in your tracks.  It’s not the normal way of the world.  Susan’s way of living and being with her family changed the trajectory of my life.  It so inspired me that I began to reevaluate all the relationships.   Was I extending this kind of rare kindness, love, understanding, forgiveness, and patience to the people in my life?

I’ve spent a lifetime trying to grow up just like her.

Think about your own relationships.  What word would describe how you relate and live and engage with your world?  Are you always on edge?  Do you constantly lose your cool?  If you dared ask your children or your husband how patient and kind they find you to be, what would they say?  Maybe it’s time to restart and rethink how you want your life to be.  You have the power to change those poor habits and to do the hard work of relating in better ways. Don’t just pray for patience, practice it.  Start today with the very people who try us and test us the most—our own families!

 Challenge Day 20:  Identify a recent situation where you felt stressed or tense and, as a result, snapped at a loved one.  Reflect on how you could have handled the situation differently.  What are some ways you can think of to alleviate tension in your day-to-day life?

Be sure to read Ruth’s corresponding post, Less Tension.