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Bless this house…….

January 5, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 23 Comments

Ever get the blahs after you take all your Christmas decorations down? Everything seems so drab and dull? And empty? Or cluttered and all the wrong color? I woke up today feeling like that. I’m tired of my color schemes, tired of too much stuff everywhere. I see painting in my near future if I can just but decide what colors I want for 2009? I think I’ll lighten things up, literally. Light colors, more lighting with generous splashes of color. As I was reading my Treasury of Daily Prayer and my Lutheran prayer book this morning, I came across this prayer for the home that I thought I’d share with you. We should never take for granted, despite how much we want to change certain things, the blessing of a home. (It took an inordinate amount of time to type this as ‘puppy’ was chewing on my arm, hand, bible, book, computer, sweater, and so on. He had Job chapter 5 for breakfast. Wonder how that’ll go down?)

Lord God, our home is among the most precious gifts we receive in this life. We realize this all the more as we remember our Lord Jesus. He set aside home and family. Having no place to lay His head throughout His ministry, He chose to sojourn among those He came to save. We prayerfully invite Him to dwell in our earthly home even as He continually invites us by Word and Sacrament to dwell forever in our heavenly home, which He prepares for us.

Make us ever grateful for this shelter from life’s storms. Keep this house always the home of comfort, peace, joy, and forgiveness. According to Your will, protect us not only from the spiritual assaults of Satan, but likewise make our home a fortress against the calamities of nature and the wickedness of sinful men.

Grant us the virtue of hospitality, the joy of harmonious living, and the blessing of gathering around Your word and bringing our families prayers before You. May all who dwell in our home be blessed by Your presence and Your peace, and may all who go forth give thanks for the grace they receive from You through us, Your dear children.

We receive Your lovingkindness in our home as a reminder of the eternal home we inherit through Your Son, Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray. Amen.

A Giveaway for my Birthday…..

January 4, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 53 Comments

Welcome to my party. It’s my birthday today!! January 4th. I’m 39…so that makes this my last official birthday. I did a guest post today at Country Girls’ blog on some fun fashion tips for the New Year so go visit her (and me) there. Her blog was one of the first one’s I stumbled upon when I starting blogging and I have so enjoyed getting to know her. She’s funny and sweet and what a fantabulous birthday gift it is to post for her wonderful readers today.

My birthday could possibly be the worst conceivable date. As a kid, I always got the “This is for Christmas AND your birthday” and as an adult, I’ve usually signed my name in blood by this time that I will not under any circumstances eat buttercream icing. Alas. But the girls and I made a cake (this is actually the one I made for Stevie’s birthday—but mine will be just as laden with transfat and high-fructose corn syrup) and bygolly I’m gonna have a piece. You have to have cake on your birthday, right? Even if you’ve sworn off all simple sugars?

and my husband bought me a Nikon d90! Omilands. This is the stuff that obnoxious amateur photographers are made of. And you thought I took a lot of pictures before.

Stevie had a hard time comprehending why I could possibly want this camera. “The other works fine doesn’t it?” And then it hit me when we were watching football last night on our HD TV and our HD receiver…..it was language he could understand.

“So, honey remember how your life changed when you watched your first HD football game? Remember how the hallelujah chorus began to play as you watched Adrian Peterson break twenty tackles and you could see the mud droplet fly up from his cleats and every detail of his triceps muscle? Remember that? Well, that’s how you’ve impacted my life with this camera.”

He turns away from the football game and makes strong eye contact and gives me a sincere nod and says “Really? Good for you then.”

Good for me, good for us all. I have however discovered one small downside. I was taking some self-portraits yesterday for the post at Country Girl’s blog…..when I took a few that were way close-up…..of my face…..in all its glory. Yikes. That’ll make a girl run to the dermatologist quicker than you can say Dolly Parton. So, if I ever need to show you my new eye shadow or a new delightful MAC lip gloss, I shall use the other camera. And for that job, it is just fine. Thankyouverymuch.

So, honey thank you so much for this gift. I only hope to learn how to use it enough to deserve it. And I promise not to take close-up pictures of your face. Unless I’m trying to prove a point.

Leave me a birthday challenge or comment and I will pick a winner randomly to receive a ‘few of my favorite things’–gift from me.

The Lord bless you and keep you.

The Lord make His face shine upon you.

The Lord look upon you with favor,

And give you peace. Amen.

Rise and Shine

January 2, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 29 Comments

It’s happened to me a several times over the past few years. I read a book or hear a sermon or listen to a talk that changes everything.

Or at least how I look at everything.

An epiphany of sorts. An ah-hah moment.

It happened when I first discovered Lutheranism. And the first time I read C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity. And the first time I heard about classical education. And after I listened to Dr. Steven Hein speak about ‘vocation’.

And then today. After I read Dumbing Us Down, written by John Taylor Gatto. It’s an expose on the hidden curriculum of compulsory schooling and it knocked me flat.

How many awakenings does one girl need in any given three year span? Stevie feels the same way and has forbid any new books for at least a month. He’s kidding. But I know what he means. It can be a little like losing your footing. Or like waking up from a deep slumber and being blinded by a very bright light that exposes all manner of short comings in your life. Truth has a way of tearing down the pretenses and straw men we’ve built.

And before truth nurtures your soul like a good medicine, it can be a bitter, harsh reality.

Growing up as a product of nearly 25 years of compulsory government schooling, I never questioned the institution. It seemed perfectly natural for 35 adolescents of similiar age to be quarantined together all day under the auspices of ‘education’. Away from the influence of their parents, grandparents, and community. And relieved of any community responsibility to serve the neighbor. To obey a set of prescribed rules where one is allowed to learn math only between 8 and 9, stop all learning when the bell rings, and use the restroom between 3rd period and lunch. The ‘institution’ then invades the sacred ‘family time’ by assigning far too much homework and thereby successfully further isolating children from the most promising influence most can hope to have—-their own parents. ‘They’ have taken the lion’s share of children’s lives by demand and we have grown so accustomed to the system that we wouldn’t think or dare to question the goals or motives or outcome. Gatto asserts that basic reading, writing, and arithmetic can be learned in 100 hours if the child is ripe for learning. So what is happening in the other thousands of hours? He taught for thirty years in New York City and was crowned with many glowing achievements. He seems fit to have an opinion.

He ponders the hard questions.

Why have we allowed them to capture nearly the entire childhood and adolescence of our children without so much as asking the obvious questions? The ‘pseudo-communities’ that schools forge, he says, lack real nurturing and love that families and real communities provide. And given the amount of time spent in school, after school activities, and homework…plus the time spent under the mind-numbing brain-washing effects of most television, it’s no wonder that our generation is frought with people who are addicted, divorced, lonely, and literally at a loss to make meaningful connections and relationships.

This ‘network’ created by people of similiar age or interest is a shallow excuse for a supportive environment that is conducive to growing healthy, happy, independent adults. The school system itself fosters dependance…..where we want someone to tell us where to go and what to do next. That’s what we’ve been doing all our lives. He makes the point that the system is designed this way because those dependant types prop up our economical system well….where the average high school graduate is most likely to work at Walmart or in fast-food. In that sense, he says, the system does exactly what it is designed to do. To make a society of people addicted to dependance and consumerism…..thereby ensuring the ‘big machine’ will continue. They will tell us what to buy. We will buy it. It works for everyone. Or so it seems.

This sort of pseudo-commmunity lifestyle is also sorely lacking in solitude.

Our kids have no time to play. Without homework. Or lessons. Or organized sports. Or electronics. And if they do have free time, they don’t know how to use it. Where are the creative, inventive, industrious children that could spend an entire afternoon amusing themselves with a roll of tape and an egg carton? Or heaven forbid a book with any more depth than Goosebumps.

As a result of growing up highly addicted to distraction, it took me many years to appreciate solitude. And to use it effectively. To learn a new skill. Or to read a good book. Or to sit and watch the sunset and appreciate the beauty all around us. Solitude is where the real ‘work’ happens. Where our souls are fed. And without solitude, our lives become a series of poorly linked events….without meaning or purpose. We’re addicted to distraction according to Gatto. And we’re teaching it to our kids. Or at least we’re letting schools and television teach it to our kids, all day long, as we sit by and wonder why we live in a society full of violence, drugs, pornography, a myriad of psychiatric illnesses, and addictions of all kinds.

We need meaningful relationships, a safe and stimulating environment in which to learn, and solitude——where the real learning happens. Most of our lives are filled with overextended schedules, very little solitude and shallow family relationships that are mostly based on the ‘next activity’. And I’m as guilty as the next guy. Homeschooling is sometimes a wonderful alternative , but it doesn’t ensure that the learning won’t be fragmented and devoid of real meaning. I will certainly not be interrupting anymore ‘in the zone’ playtime, which is probably where real-life math skills are learned, to require the girls to do another worksheet. I will no longer feel guilt or pressure to mimic the ‘school’ environment where the lines between math and history are so clearly demarcated. And we will take more field trips. To learn about sewing from a seamstress, and baking from a baker, and gardening from a gardener. People who have a talent or skill and are passionate about it are the best teachers. Which reassures me that my girls will at least be able to transform an old door from Goodwill into a killer sewing table…..and make the world’s best brownies…..and when all else fails, add lip gloss and ribbon. I do hope my love for reading gets transmitted. At least then there’s hope of lifelong learning.

So, this book has affected me profoundly. It has illuminated why I have struggled so much with certain issues in my own life. Parts of this book rang so true in my heart that I found myself at times full of emotion—-of regret for so many ‘lost’ years, and of guilt, for sitting by for so long and expecting someone else to do for my children what I can most effectively do. Whether they go to school or stay home with me.

Waking up from such a slumber is painful. The light is bright and hurts my eyes. I want to pull the covers back up and pretend it’s not morning. Just one more hour. Or five more minutes. But I know what I must do. I must brave the light.

And pray for mercy.

**********************************

I would recommend the book to you but I hate to be the one to disturb any good dreams. Be careful if you read this one. Approach with caution. It is powerful and will sound a mighty loud alarm.

BTW, he offers a glimmer of hope where schools are more locally controlled and does offer homeschooling as an alternative that seems to be successful. But for most of us, we must live with the consequences of the education we have received. And hopefully we will all continue to be self-taught and self-directed enough to fill in the gaps. And although I have very large gaps, I seem to have an insatiable appetite for filling them.

My last project of 2008…..I think.

December 31, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 11 Comments

We jaunted off to Goodwill this morning where the after Christmas sales were hoppin’. I could be exaggerating but we did find this old door which was 1/2 off. It was 5. 48 with tax! This ‘studio table redo’, as Ms. Pink and Polka Dot called it , was a quick and rewarding project. We had our sights set on a sewing table….and by the end of the day……after a lot of help from Leigh Ann…..and 4 cups of coffee and two diet pepsi’s; we were sewing. And making us some hoopty crafts.

We used modge podge and wrapping paper on the door itself. (as ever so eloquently described here) and then set the door on old particle board desk that was taking up valuable real estate in my basement.

…then I used macdaddy’s industrial stapler to add a simple but perfect table skirt. To hide all manner of hideous but well organized junk. And various and sundry sewing notions.

Oh yeah, and I spray painted my thread holder with ‘Catalina Mist’….love that color. And if I’d had any more of it, I would have spray painted two locker bins, the old desk I bought at Leigh Ann’s yard sale, and 7 other random items. It’s a great color. I have no lies to tell.

It turned out beautiful. Thank you so much to Leigh Ann for hours of hard work. (The ‘door’ part of the project was the easiest part…all that pesky organizing is what took so long) She was excellent at keeping me on task and has some great ideas, that girl!

My children then begin to sew til their heart’s content. Emme made an iphone ‘cozy’ for dad. Wow I woulda never thought of that. I praised it so much….

she made me a lip gloss ‘cozy’. Very……cozy……indeed. Her mind is reeling with little things she could snuggle up in between two swatches of fabric.

So there. That’s it. The last hurrah before a new day….a new year….takes over. 2008 was full of joy and change and many good and perfect gifts from above. We truly are living a dream we don’t deserve. Thanks be to God for His unspeakable Gift.

Love and hugs to you all and Happy New Year!

I’m working on a guest post for Country Girl in which I will share my ‘take’ on fashion. And if you could see me right now, you would be very afraid. It’s a Nester version of decorating yourself instead of your home. We will shop our closets and even some thrift stores to find some ensembles that put the q in cute. It should post on Sunday January 4th. Otherwise known as MY BIRTHDAY!

Let the Games Begin……I own Resolutions.

December 30, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 23 Comments

The big clean-out/take-down has begun. It’s 9p and the only thing I can be sure of is that the American Girl accessories now have their very own slighty-used storage container. What a blessed gift to find an purse belonging to ‘Kit’ only to say to my daughter, “You know exactly where this goes, don’t you?” So this is what life is like in non-ADD land? And I’m not sure who loves the American girls more……Emme and Elea…..or Hank. He’s turning out to be quite the ladies man.
In between eating hard-boiled eggs (Thanks Michele) and protein bars and sorting through way too many AG doll clothes, I read some more in my new ADD book. I learned 3 more gems.

1. We ADDers must use retractable pens. The caps are otherwise too distracting and can disturb our already jumpy train-of-thought. I did not get the memo on that one.

2. We tend to let laundry ‘loiter’ in the laundry room. I love that. Not the piles but calling it ‘loitering’. ADD is so much fun.

3. We apparently have no business owning wire shoes racks. That extra step of making sure the shoe lodges onto its holder is enough to push us over the edge. We’re supposed to pare our shoe collection down to a bare minimum and then we get a pass……to store them ON the closet floor. I’m beginning to wander if I’m capable of running my own dishwasher. We probably let dishes ‘loiter’ too.

Then there’s the other book which I believe Jessica (from Musings) recommended. It is very provoking and has given me some much needed ‘inspiration’ to keep on trucking with homeschooling.

My neighbor and friend Leigh Anne has so kindly offered to come and help me in the school room tomorrow. I’ve been working in there already today and you’ll soon see why I need supervision. My mother usually comes to help me with such projects…..she’s perfect for the job. Focused, slightly irritable if I get off task, and such a worker bee. Leigh Anne has promised to fill the ‘slightly irritable’ portion of the qualifications if I find myself led off on a tangent by a stack of old pictures. Tough love, Leigh Anne. I’m not easy to wrangle in. My mother is probably so glad she’s in Key West.

Life with ‘Hanker Down’ has been so much fun. He got to play with another English golden this weekend and they were instant friends. Our dear friends Cara and Drew brought Brody over to play. He was a welcome playmate after the intense cold shoulder Scooter’s been giving.

Oh, and Elea wanted me to show you the Littlest Pet Shop Fitness Club. At least somebody’s working out this week.

And finally, here’s where a smidge of ADD comes in handy. I bought this cool scrapbook paper at Walmart this morning. At 5:30 in the am. Thankyouverymuch. I wasn’t exactly sure what I would do with it, but I got quickly inspired when I found myself facing a huge basket of 8,756 unrelated items that needed to be sorted through. I’ve got just the cure for that.

I used modge podge on the back and then hung the letters on the wall in random order in the school room.

There’s a whole page of each letter in all colors and sizes.

And oh my dear…..it turned out so cute. You must try this at home. Now don’t go asking technical questions like what happens when you try to take the letters off. Those of us with ADD seldom consider such consequences. We get inspired……and go for it! Anything’s better than the basket I was facing.

What’d ya think?

New Year’s Resolutions. Where optimism reigns.

December 28, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 14 Comments

It’s getting dangerously close to January 1. The day we all collectively sign on the dotted line of those New Years resolutions we intend to make. I’ve always been a ‘resolutions’ kind of a girl. I love fresh starts, new beginnings, second chances. And reading Jen’s post inspired me to write about the things I want to change. There’s something kinda vulnerable about making your resolutions known. They seem more ‘official’ and thus the guilt begins to creep in because I know don’t have the best track record of keeping them. The one I seem to keep fairly consistently is exercise. So I always hate going to the gym on January 1st with eight million people I’ve never seen at the gym before vying for the same set of dumbells. The comfort is, I know they won’t be there on Feb. 1. And similiarly, my impeccably organized pantry on Jan. 1st will look like twenty toddlers have been rummaging around in it by Feb. 1st. I slowly seem to make some good lasting changes but I’m not setting any records here. I’ll let you have a peek of my preliminary list….and maybe you can help me.

1. I need to lose a little weight. I have gained 8-12 pounds since I quit working. Depends on what time of day, what day of the month, you know what I mean. My fat jeans are a little snug. I’d like to lose 10-12 pounds but I have a serious sugar addiction…..and reactive hypoglycemia. I exercise regularly and will begin training for a half marathon next week. But I must find a way to cut out sugar. Today is the first day I haven’t had ‘my quota’ of sugar and I felt really well all day. But I have intense cravings. Like a meth addict. Or worse. This resolution though seemingly vain has far reaching effects sometimes. I think about ‘the fix’. I get the ‘fix’ (fudge or cookies or whathaveyou. I’m on a high. I crash. I’m irritable until the next ‘fix’. It’s a vicious cycle that drives me crazy. I cannot continue to be home 24 hours a day if I don’t find a way to control this. And I’ve tried pictures of skinny 18 year olds in bikini’s on the frig door. Doesn’t work. I find myself talking to her and saying things like: “Yeah, enjoy it now. But you just wait til you have four kids and an addiction to sugar. And you know what, you’re too skinny anyways. You look like a 13 yo boy. I like my curves. Now move out of the way so I can get some ice cream, sister. Got any other suggestions?

2. I have to start planning for Taylor’s graduation. My son Taylor graduates from high school this May. I have a party to plan, a scrapbook to finish, pictures to scan, a video to make, and various other fun things I’d like to do for him. Plus a million more tears to cry. This kind of life change is stressful enough so I’d like to minimize the chaos toward the end. Help me plan. He’s a musician and a runner so I’m trying to come up with a clever ‘theme’ for the party. I cried during High School Musical Three ’cause Troy was graduating….and Taylor looks like Troy to me….’cause he’s a boy…..and has dark hair. So, what about a HSM 3 party? There’s plenty of party favors to be found, that’s for sure. (My sister is laughing profusely). Don’t like my idea? Well give me some so that I can begin to work on graduation announcements.

I wanted to teach him ballroom dancing before he graduates too. But that’ll be hard since I don’t know how. Should we take a few lessons together? Am I too ambitious?

3. We need a little more structure in our homeschool. Overall, I love homeschooling. Love it. We’re having a ball. But it’s hard to gauge how we’re doing. I could do a better job at planning. The problem is I’m a very enthusiastic starter of things. And often a very poor finisher. We have been doing a very laid back grammar program and I’m starting Shurley Grammar in January. My school room needs a little work too. I did a great job getting it organized, but keeping it organized is another story. I’m not sure it’s realistic for me to write down lesson plans……but I need a little more structure. I need a teacher’s aide. That’s what I need. Any takers? The pay is lousy but it’d be fun.

4. I could tweak my meal planning a bit to include more low fat options. My meal planning is pretty good but since I’ll be working on #1 I’ll have to make some changes in the content of the food. Maybe I need some new lighter recipes…..with a little less butter and cream. More protein shakes and bars for meal replacements. I LOVE to cook and cook a lot. But I spare no fat. My family can tell too…..if the recipes’ been ‘lightened’ up. They’re like detectives. Maybe I’ll just have to cook normally and eat very small portions. Or gnaw on carrot sticks while they eat creamy cajun pasta.

5. I’d like to have a more structured Bible reading scheme. I use Treasury of Daily Prayer for daily devotions. I’d like to, in addition to that, read the Bible through chronologically. There are online sources that give a schedule but if you have any suggestions, let me know. I’m compiling my reading list for ’09 but I’m not done yet. Do you have any awesome, life-changing books I need to add?

6. I’d like to become a better writer. Blogging has made me realize how much I love writing. Deep down, I’d love to write a book someday, but for now, I’d settle for a published article. I’d like to take a creative writing class but how do you do that and keep up with home activities? I’ve been reading a lot of online articles about writing which only increases my appetite for more. And then watching Marley and Me this weekend made me wanna have my own column. And made me cry profusely for 45 minutes, but that’s beside the point. I have started a ‘writing’ journal’ where I will keep ideas for ‘blogs’ or articles and also great quotes or paragraphs by other authors. Any other suggestions?

The other blogging related resolution I have is to get more organized and efficient with how I spend my computer time. I keep finding more blogs I like to read…..and keep thinking of more things I like to write, but my family needs to eat and wear clean clothes and live in a clean house, so I need to be more purposeful about it I think. What’s your system or do you have one? Do you subscribe to blogs in a reader or just bookmark them or what?

7. I want to be more purposeful in serving my neighbor. I need to find some nursing home people for the girls and I to visit regularly. Maybe volunteer at the local soup kitchen. Service projects of some sort that the girls and I can get involved in. Any suggestions?

8. I need more organization in my home. I need a professional organizer to come to my house and order me around. My house almost always looks clean and organized so I’m pretty good with the big picture. But the details, now that’s another story. This is probably where I need my ultra-organized and tidy neighbors Sue and Leigh Ann to come over and help. My new ADD book said in big bold letters: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BUY ANY MORE PLASTIC CONTAINERS. I rolled into the floor laughing. Apparently all people with ADD have this misconception that the problem with their lack of organization is the supplies they’ve been working with…..so we go buy more containers with every confidence that this will be the solution we’ve been needing. No kidding, I’m a container freak. And yet if you ask me to find say, the red polka dotted scrapbook paper, I’d hunt for an hour and then I’d get sidetracked by my old yearbook that I happened to run across and you’d find me sitting in the basement laughing hysterically. Then you’d have to remind me what it was I was looking for in the first place. Such is the life with ADD.

But I’m not discouraged. I’m an optimist. This is gonna be my year. To get organized and charitable and skinny and spiritual and to become very teacherly. That’s why I love resolutions. Despite any past failures in these areas, I am fully confident that strides will be made and goals accomplished. You pessimists out there are shaking your heads, aren’t you? You don’t even make resolutions because you’ve seen the outcome too many times. You will sit on the resolutions’ sideline and just wait to see how long it takes until I’ve given in……when I’m only in the book of Exodus is July…….and I can’t find Taylor’s senior picture in May…….and I’m joining Weight Watchers in March. But that’s okay. I love having tasks and goals. And if only one of them ‘sticks’…..well, that’s better than nothing.

Good thing God doesn’t use ‘resolution theology’ with us. He knows us too well. So he designed a plan that didn’t hinge on our sticktoittiveness. He went the whole way. Accomplished it all for us so that even when we fail, he forgives and gives us ‘new mercies every morning’. Even with our ‘mostly likely to fail’ list of changes we intend to make, He has a plan that never fails. I think schemes for personal improvement can be valuable. I’m just thankful that’s not how my relationship with God works.

So, what’s on your list or have you forsaken ‘the list’ altogether?