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3 things

May 12, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 9 Comments

1. In lieu of painting my living room (and risking vehement verbal outbursts from my family), I’ve been working on a wall of frames sorta like this:

I’ll show you later today. You’re gonna love it. I just know it.

2. Darcy, from Lifewithmy3boybarians and Graphically Designing, is tweaking my site for me as we speak. I told her this morning that I feel as if she’s here, at my house, helping me move my heavy living room furniture and I keep saying, “Can we just try it on this wall”, for the 47th time. She’s a wonderful mommy and talented writer and designer. Her recent post on her son ‘Trouble’ is an incredible story that should be read and shared.

3. My blog friend Jessica, who is back from a blogging sabbatical, sent me the link for this audio segment on ‘The Thomas Jefferson Education’. It’s a must listen. I’m starting it for the 2nd time this morning. Thank you Jess and I’m so happy you’re back.

Happy Mother’s Day

May 10, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 9 Comments

Steve and I want to wish our mothers a most blessed day. Thank you for how you have nurtured and nourished us. Thank you for the gift of life. You have ministered the grace of God to us in profound ways. We love you.

Enjoy this repost from last fall and have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

“I am so glad that you have come. I will pour out everything inside me so you may leave this table satisfied and fortified. Blessings on your eyes. Blessings on your children. Blessings on the ground beneath you. My heart is a ladle of sweet water, brimming over.”
Anita Diamant, The Red Tent

This is one of my favorite quotes……..from one of my all-time favorite books, The Red Tent. The book is work a of fiction about the life of Dinah…..the only daughter of Jacob. (taken from the account in Genesis). It’s a fantastic book and I highly recommend it. I have this quote printed on pretty paper, framed and sitting on my kitchen counter, right beside where I cook. It helps me—when I’m tired or stressed and trying to make food—-to remember how I feel about those who sit at my table everyday. It reminds me to not just go through the motions of cooking…..but to do it with joy and gladness so that I can truly ‘serve’ those I love……literally nurturing and sustaining them. And you know what? It makes the food taste better. I’m sure of it. Isn’t our attitude about things powerful like that?

I was listening to this yesterday on my favorite radio show, Issues Etc., and it helped me to see….for the first time ever…..that a wife really is a picture of the bride of Christ…..the Church. She is the means by which God gives birth to its members through the regeneration of baptism and the means by which He sustains and nourishes its members through the very body and blood of Christ at the Lord’s Supper. So my vocation of wife and mother is not trivial. And my uniqueness as the life-giving, life-sustaining source in this family is so important to God….. so important…..that he compared it to His Church….whom He loved enough to give His very life for.

Isn’t that what we as women have the freedom and privilege to do…..to “pour out everything inside us”? I feel a little like that about blogging. We share ourselves and our hearts with each other…..to nourish and sustain ourselves and those we love. Your blogs and your words are like that for me…..”sweet water, brimming over”. So, read the quote again……and be blessed today.

And cook that meatloaf with love, baby!

The Fall

May 8, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 3 Comments

I don’t know if I’ve ever told you about this place. A magical little sanctuary that Stevie labored countless months and years over. A quaint little cottage that he had built for us in the middle of beautiful mountainous country, with a spring fed pond he researched and designed and personally stocked with all kinds of fish and a water trampoline. Paradise. Or pretty close.

Someone decided to trample on our dreams. They came in and took nearly everything ‘but the kitchen sink’ and this little sign.

Our little slice of Eden went from this….

to this…..overnight. And ditto for every other room.

We made the hours’ drive in a somber state of disbelief. We spent the day sifting through broken glass and precious memories. I guess the parallels are endless, but this is what happens in Eden. Everytime. The dream is fleeting. Paradise eludes us. At least for now.

But there is something about suffering that brings joy. And my words will fail to communicate what happened in my heart yesterday. But God is faithful. His mercies are new every morning. Reaching in to give us hope, and life, and salvation.

I am His child.

And He has not left me alone.

He will restore Eden. In His time.

This song is dedicated to a man whose strength continually surprises me, whose love is redemptive and whose compassion for my ever present tears these days is heroic.

We will get through this. All of this. Together. And when I count my blessings, you are first in line.

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Thank you for all the kind thoughts and prayers I know you’re sending our way!

Exhibit A: Honor’s Day

May 7, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 14 Comments

It’s a curious thing, this homeschooling. There are so many things I love about it. The closeness (can’t peel them off me–EVER) with the children, the control over their environment, the classical training, the ability to impart Lutheran doctrine and practice, and even learning to be IN my house 24/7, are all reasons I’m beginning to embrace this lifestyle. I’m sure I’m not the only mom to struggle with the questions, “Are they doing enough”, “Am I pushing them too hard”, “Is bubble gum really THAT bad for their teeth?”

So, to calm my fears, I ordered achievement tests which I will be administering next week—in the most formal and ‘schoolhouse’ manner I can possibly muster up. I’m even gonna wear a teacher-ish outfit and wear my reading glasses on a string around my neck. It’s gonna be all school…all day. There will be an apple on the desk. We will say the Pledge of Allegiance. And then when I get ready to mail their answers in, I’m gonna enclose a copy of the following video, in hopes of a little extra credit. I’m sure the test won’t be able to extract from them all the wonderful things we’ve learned this year about the ancient Greeks and Romans. These two little girls have memorized more stuff than you can imagine. And who’s gonna test them on that? Who’s gonna ‘ooh’ and ‘ahhh’ at how smart they are? I guess we could have our own Honors Day, but we’ve done enough ‘presentations’ in front of the American girl dolls.

Therefore, I give you exhibit A. We don’t mess around here at Logos School. It’s all business. All the time. There is not one moment of the day we are not learning something. And I just have this teeny weeny need to prove to the world that I am not sitting around all day eating bon bons and watching Oprah. There is no time for nonsense when the forming of children’s minds is at stake. The girls recite for you a list of the most common Greek and Roman gods. In the most solemn, serious way. Our humble homeschool Honor’s Day presentation.

Disclaimer: Though they used their ‘cheat sheet’, they could say this list in their sleep. And we seem to have an uncanny fascination with the British accent. It makes you feel smarter. And smug. And makes you wanna sip tea.

Worship Wars: A Case for Classical Worship

May 6, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 26 Comments

Have you ever asked yourself why your church worships the way it does? Would you call the worship style contemporary or traditional? Some might say it’s possible that the method or medium of worship is neutral, but I would fancy to say that at the heart of every form of worship, there is a theology driving it. If that is true, then the real question is what is the theology that drives it? My background as a fundamentalist, then evangelical, and now Lutheran has given me a deeper look into many and varied forms of christian worship. There are parts about them all that I think have some redeeming qualities, but I have never been challenged to think as much about the mode of worship and its implications as I have since becoming Lutheran. I thank my pastor and IssuesEtc. for that. There was a recent segment on Issues, which you can listen to here that seemed to sum it up so well. This segment was based on a article written by Bill Cwirla titled 10 Reasons Why We Use the Liturgy which you can read here. I’ll just give you the cliff notes but I highly recommend you listen to the very informative discussion.

1. We have handed down to us a tradition that is 2,000 years old with elements dating back even to Jewish worship in the synagogue. As Pastor Cwirla points out, ‘we are not the first christians to walk the face of the earth’—and those things handed down to us, which do not obscure the pure gospel of Christ, should be preserved. This is why the Lutheran church ‘looks’ so Roman Catholic. The conservative reformation only did away with elements of the worship that obscured the gospel. Every thing else stayed.

2. The liturgy (historic form of worship) is Christ-centered. From beginning to end, it is filled with direct passages of scripture, songs and hymns that are either directly from scripture or paraphrases of scripture (the creeds), with the culmination being the Lord giving us His body and blood for the forgiveness of sins. It might be possible to have a contemporary style service that is Christ-centered, but I’ve rarely seen it done. The focus tends to be more on the people–the singers, the pastor—rather than on Christ. Often the focus of the sermons are man-centered instead of focusing on the objective work of Christ for us. In most Lutheran churches, everything from the placement of the pulpit off to the side to the central location of the cross and the Lord’s table, teaches us that Christ is the focus of our worship.

3. “The liturgy teaches the whole counsel of God – creation, redemption, sanctification, Christ’s incarnation, passion, resurrection, and reign, the Spirit’s outpouring and the new life of faith. Every liturgical year cycles through these themes so that the hearer receives the “whole counsel of God” on a regular basis.” This seems like such an important point to me–moving stepwise through scripture, so that by the end of the cycle, all of scripture has been covered in some form. Otherwise, it seems that our own chosen ‘themes’ seem to become the focus—-a 10 week study on ‘the family’ or ‘ 12 weeks to a better marriage’ . It seems strange that we have a wonderful, inspired Word of God, chocked full of stories of redemption pointing us toward Christ, and yet we think we somehow know better or can do better than that. His word is sharp and active and never returns to Him void; it is the perfect template for how to order our worship and how to systematically instruct believers.

4. “It is repetitive in a good way. Repetition is, after all, the mother of learning. Fixed texts and annual cycles of readings lend to deep learning. Obviously, mindless repetition does not accomplish anything; nor does endless variety. ” This is probably the number one complaint I here about liturgical worship. But I can tell you that with two little ones learning the liturgy along beside me, there is something so special about your children being able to sing and say the liturgy by heart. And because most of the liturgy is taken directly from scripture, they are ‘hiding God’s word in their hearts’. C.S. Lewis compared the liturgy to a dance. Only after memorizing the steps is one able to truly dance and enjoy it; those things which we memorize or learn ‘by heart’ are usually those things which we really know in a deep and lasting way.

5. “It rescues us from the here and now”. Following the historical liturgy removes us from following the headlines of the news in our church life. We follow Christ’s word instead, which never changes, and is always pertinent to our lives.

“In the liturgy, the Word sets the agenda, defining our needs and shaping our questions. The temptation is for us to turn stones into bread to satisfy an immediate hunger and scratch a nagging spiritual itch, but the liturgy teaches us to live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.”

6. “It is external and objective.” We are given God’s word and His body and blood for the forgiveness of sins. We come empty-handed to His table, receive the gifts He gives and then we give Him thanks for those gifts. None of it depends on us or how we ‘feel’ about the worship service. And what a relief; to know that know matter what pitiful unspiritual state we are in, we leave church with God’s greatest gifts, poured out to us freely, for the sake of Christ alone. We don’t have to gin up any super-spirituality. We are completely on the receiving end of life and forgiveness. It changes how we look at our whole life of faith. We are beggars at His table. All of us. We never leave saying, “I didn’t get much out of it.” We leave the Lord’s house and His table satisfied with what He has provided, lacking and wanting for nothing; the blessed recipients of His very life poured into us.

I hope Pastor Cwirla forgives me for butchering his list a little, but I think it behooves us to see the theology behind what we do. If we think we come to worship to ‘give something to God’, then the worship style will reflect that. If we come knowing that He is the giver of all good gifts, then we come ready to receive the wonderful redemption He has bought for us in Christ; given to us in Word and Sacrament. Going from contemporary to liturgical worship is a bit like learning to listen to Bach after spending twenty years singing catchy praise songs. It does not appeal instantly to the emotions. You can’t ‘get it all’ in one or years, let alone one or two visits. It is deep and layered and will certainly take a while to seep into your soul. Eventually, you will find yourself spoiled. Ten verses of “I Surrender All” won’t hold a candle to “A Mighty Fortress is our God”. You will find yourself asking the question, “Am I really the one who surrenders all…..or is it Christ…..who surrenders all for me?”

I realize that in this postmodern world where church growth is king, posts like this will not be very popular. But it does give us cause to think. The methods we use are not neutral—they carry with them an implied message. We should at least ponder the ramifications of that message. I would love to hear your thoughts.

The Making over of my Bathroom and my Imagination

May 4, 2009 by Edie Wadsworth 42 Comments

Edited to add: I’m joining Kelly’s ‘Show us Your Bathroom’ Party so if you’re visiting from Kelly’s blog, welcome. You can see more decorating posts by clicking the pictures on my sidebar! To my regular readers, you can see lots of cute bathroom decor by clicking here.

I also just wrote a post about “Why I’m not a Feminist”. It’s sure to be controversial. Click here to read.

Decorating my home is not just a hobby for me. It is a part of a quest to create for my family a haven, a place that inspires us, beckons us to retreat from the world; and calls us to notice and enjoy the beauty all around. And my tastes are changing. I’m finding that my spiritual need to live simply and authentically translates well into the practical side of living too. Decorate with items that you love, that are beautiful, that inspire you. First, I want to show you the inspiration for my bathroom makeover. This bust of some Greek/Roman goddess/fairy beckoned me to bring her home. And I promised her that if she was 40% off—and still on the shelf—the next time I went to Hobby Lobby, I’d welcome her to our family. So, she was. And I did. We’ve named her Juno in honor of the great fun we’ve had studying the ancient Greek and Roman myths.

This bathroom makeover was an attempt to simplify—using what I already had—and adding a little paint and a little statue named Juno.

The walls got lighter…..

The tired and clunky medicine cabinet was removed and replaced with a simple mirror.

And Juno took her place upon the throne.

Maybe only the towels stayed exactly the same.

The project was cottage inspired–using the colors of the sea–with some natural elements such as shells and starfish to accent.

The vanity cabinet was painted a very dark brown….

and the two front cabinet doors were replaced. (I know, I’m schizophrenic—take the kitchen doors down, put the bathroom doors on). The look is so much more sleek and clean (minus the two wet, smelly dogs in the picture). I wanted to add a few quaint little details like vintage glass knobs and a towel ‘rope’, but those will have to wait for now.

Several smaller decorative items were removed in favor of the one large Roman goddess/garden fairy. She makes a bold statement in this little room. And though I have never been a fan of myths or fantasies, C.S. Lewis and George McDonald are teaching me. I am currently reading the book Phantastes by McDonald; a book that C.S. Lewis said, ‘baptized his imagination’. That alone intrigued me enough to want to read it. But mythopoeic writing is difficult for someone like me to read. It takes discipline and a certain sticktoitiveness, which I sometimes do not possess. It helps that my husband happens to love mythical writing and is re-reading the book with me so he can help me through it.

Here is what Lewis says of mythopoetic writing, “It is in some ways more akin to music than poetry. It arouses in us sensations we have never had before, never anticipated having, as though we had broken out of our normal mode of consciousness and ‘possessed joys not promised to us at our birth’. It gets under our skin, hits us at a level deeper than our thoughts or even our passions, troubles oldest certainties till all questions are reopened, and in general shocks us more fully awake than we are for most of our lives……it finally lets us feel in our face the sweet air blowing from the land of righteousness.”

I think I finally get it. After struggling through the first 60 pages of that book…..twice, I finally feel that ‘sweet air’, an nearly inexplicable goodness, a ‘baptism of my imagination’. And Stevie tells me that Lewis’ book “Till We Have Faces” takes it all to another level. I highly recommend the books, but I cannot tell a lie; the bathroom makeover was easier. Maybe Juno will help remind us that this longing we have for fairy tales, for adventure, for truth and meaning, is given to us by God. And His story is the culmination of all myth and fairy tale; the miraculous and mysterious come to us in the flesh, to bear our sin, and be our Savior.

When I’m finished reading these, they stay in the Fairy Cottage Bathroom! With Juno.

And I’m also reading one of McDonald’s fairy tales to the girls, The Princess and the Goblin. They find it wonderful and magical and are never satisfied with just one chapter a night! Do you have a favorite fairy tale/fantasy book?

Edited to Add: This bathroom has no natural lighting and it’s hard to get a picture that captures the colors well because of the necessity to use the flash. I am not a fan of flash photography. The bathroom walls are very similiar to my kitchen walls…..a very light (almost white) green.