Edie Wadsworth

A Pep Talk For Your Inner 7th Grader

August 18, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 36 Comments

“Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.”~C.S. Lewis

I spoke at a women’s conference last weekend, which besides being a wonderful place of inspiration and creativity, can be the scariest place on earth.

A conference where 550 women descended with their cute shoes and their cool jewelry and their beautiful hair. I have never struggled with insecurity much. I’m not plagued with self-consciousness and I’m pretty sure I’ve been too insatiably curious about other people to worry too much about what other people thought of me. I realize now what a gift that is. I came to the conference with good friends and other than having to speak, I was just happy to be there, to see old friends and to meet new ones.

Until I walked into the cafeteria alone.

My group was already in there eating somewhere and I knew from a text in what general direction they were sitting in the room. But I walked into a large dining hall carrying my tray and unable to find my people and I had a moment of anxiety. I remembered watching my son do this in 4th grade in his first day of public school as I watched from outside the cafeteria doors. I saw him with that same look of anxiety and panic. Who do I sit with? Where are my people? Do I have people? I was 8 months pregnant with my 3rd child at the time and so hormonal that I started sobbing for my son. I went to find a teacher and ask her if she could help him find a seat. Now, here I was, the girl who is almost never insecure in social situations, feeling that old anxiety that we all know so well. Like being in 7th grade all over again and worried sick about how and where and under what conditions I might fit in to this impossible group of people before me.

When I found my people, I met Kari for the first time. And you know what she did? After she made us laugh hysterically about her size 12 jeans, she sat right down and told us about her struggle with weight loss. I wanted to cry. She made herself so vulnerable to us. It was a beautiful thing. But that’s so rare, isn’t it?

The truth is, this anxiety we have about being with each other doesn’t end in 7th grade. We all wish it did but 7th grade girls became middle aged women and sometimes it seems like not much else changes, in us or them. We’re competitive and fragile and often downright mean. But behind the unkindness is often just a paralyzing insecurity.

It was a good life lesson.

So, before all my talks I gave my pep talk about how to get the most out of conferences, which seems to apply to almost every social situation I can think of.

I started the pep talk by showing this picture.

I’m pretty sure I even thought I was cute back in 1984. The mullet, the acne, and the knee high tube socks tell a different story but I say never let a good mullet go to waste.

That middle schooler is still lurking around in all of us. (Yours was probably cuter, but whatever.)

The one who so desperately struggles to be herself. The one plagued with insecurity and self-consciousness. The one who abhors lunch time because the prospect of finding someone to sit with is so overwhelming. The one who is always feeling like she doesn’t measure up—she’s not thin enough or cute enough or smart enough or popular enough.

So I encouraged the people in my session to turn this all around. Because at the end of the day, our self-consciousness and our insecurity often just lead to self-centeredness. We’re so worried about ourselves that we forget why we’re here–to bless and serve others. I encouraged them to go into these (often scary) situations with an others focus. When you train yourself to focus on other people, you don’t have time to worry about all your insecurities. They evaporate. They become shadows instead of giant obstacles between you and your neighbor.

Think of situations you face everyday where this applies and remind yourself that this is not about you. This is about them—learning to see them, worrying about them, wondering if they’re okay, meeting their needs however we can, finding them a place to sit among the crowd. I train (more like harp on) my daughters to do this too. They’re both in middle school so I know full well how hard this can be.

So, there’s your pep talk.

Turn your insecurity into blessing by training your inner 7th grader to stop worrying so much about herself and instead turn the table and the spotlight and the energy towards her neighbor.

You’ll both be glad you did.

The One Thing You Can Do

August 15, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 63 Comments

“We may ignore, but we can nowhere evade the presence of God. The world is crowded with Him. He walks everywhere incognito.”

She comes into my office and I barely notice.

I sit at my desk too numb to even think, nearly hopeless, while my coffee goes cold.

I’m glued to the screen. I scroll through the news feeds and it sickens me. Suicide, genocide, homocide—death and darkness are everywhere.

The world seems to have been forsaken, even by God.

It’s paralyzing. It’s impossible to watch and difficult to turn away.

I pray and grieve and and am jolted awake by her nudge, this cutie with tousled hair who wants to eat breakfast and to read chapter 10 of To Kill a Mockingbird.

She starts the sausage. We empty the dishwasher. I’m quiet and lost in images from my screen.

I make the coffee and lay out the beef for dinner. I make the bed and fold the laundry and for a brief moment, I really see her. I remember that among this world of death and chaos and prejudice and evil, I hold precious things in my hands.

I can’t bring peace to the Middle East or to the Midwest or even to my own house most days.

But I can do the next thing that blesses the next person in front of me.

I can make the meal, read the chapter, fold the shirt, write the words.

The tasks are so small they’re almost embarrassing.

But all the tiny acts of life and kindness wage war on this present darkness.

I wake up from the numbness of the headlines and look around me.

My neighbor is standing right here in the flesh with a need that I am equipped to meet.

So, I set the table and cut the hydrangeas and with every bite, she looks more and more like her Father.

The Father who loves us, who holds this all in His hands, who ushers in His kingdom of peace with water, Word, bread, and wine—He is here. He is our way to life. He is our only Hope.

He hasn’t forsaken us. He’s right in front of us—in our midst in the humblest of means.

But we miss Him, because He always comes in on a donkey and we’re always looking for a stallion.

Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.

And blessed is he with eyes to see.

Around the Table

August 13, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 48 Comments

“How to announce the return of comfort and well-being except by cooking something fragrant. That is what her mother always did. After every calamity of any significance she would fill the atmosphere of the house with the smell of cinnamon rolls or brownies, or with chicken and dumplings, and it would mean, This house has a soul that loves us all, no matter what. ” Marilynne Robinson

We’re losing one from around our table this weekend.

I’ve been a mom for 24 years and I haven’t always known how sacred a thing it is to gather with my people around the table. This place where we feed them, listen to their stories, laugh at their jokes, and occasionally sit quiet because life with its grief and anger has gotten the best of us. This place where we teach them what it means to bow in thanks for daily bread. This place that breaks our backs because how can we possibly cook one more meal? This place where we’ve never been more aware of our shortcomings, but we just keep showing up to feed them anyway.

And then the long days turn into fast years and you face that first meal without that one you love.

In my mind, I try to avoid counting down the dinners because there’s a wall of tears that doesn’t need reminding.

Just 4 more dinners. How to say what these years have meant? How to hold such weighty things in our hands and hearts?

I remember how I’ve despised this job sometimes—the planning, the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning. Why are they always hungry every. single. day?!

I never saw the day coming that they’d go and an empty chair would leave my heart heavy.

This is no small thing what we do everyday, mamas. This meal is important. This table is sacred.

Sometimes we’re feasting and sometimes we’re just getting by but the time together around this table is changing us all.

We are so blessed by those who’ve come and gone from these chairs.

I hope you’ll linger extra long around the table tonight.

And remember that the time and effort you spend here feeding these people, with food and love, is so very special.

You are meeting your neighbor’s need in the most beautiful, life-giving way.

Bless you for your labor. It is not in vain.

And bless the ones who must leave.

We love you and it has been our privilege to share this table with you.

*******************************

(I keep this quote close to me in the kitchen. It helps me remember.)

If you’re short on time for planning, let me offer this one little suggestion. Over the next month, add the meal you make for dinner to your iPhone calendar and then *repeat* it on your calendar every month. If you eat out, maybe add what you would like to have cooked for that night. (There’s no shame in your game!) A month from now, you’ll have a month’s worth of meals in your calendar and all the sudden, you’ll be a meal planning genius! I’ve got a whole meal planning series on my blog, but this little tip will get you started with almost no work!

Here’s what I’d love to know from you—what are your struggles when it comes to family dinners? Have you found any solutions that you’d share with the rest of your internet sisters?

Mom Failures, Mom Guilt, and How I Find Peace

August 11, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 52 Comments

Sometimes all I see are my failures as a mom.

She left a note by my computer that said, “Mom is tired. Mom is always tired, but it’s okay. She’s writing a book.”

And just like that, I’m a complete mess. All choked up, tears dripping on my computer, thinking back on the last few weeks and months and how I’ve never been in a more vulnerable place. So much change going on in our family. This one starting medical school, this one moving out, this one coming home, my book, his work, her struggles—grieving the losses, celebrating the victories, but mostly feeling like it’s all slipping through my hands.

And I knew it before I saw the note. The weight of it was already crushing me.

I’ve not been the mom I want to be. I’ve been too tired. I’ve been busy. I wasn’t home when she was coming over. I missed his concert. I fell asleep before I told her goodnight. I was sarcastic or unkind or impatient. I broke another promise. I was preoccupied. I wasn’t there when she needed me. I know you know. Because this is your life too. The life of someone who wants so desperately to love well and finds her failures lying scattered over the landscape of so many days. This is the life of someone who cares enough to look hard at the broken places and make the difficult confession—the same one we make every Sunday to our Father.

Most merciful God, we confess that we are by nature sinful and unclean. We have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what have done and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart. We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We justly deserve your present and eternal punishment. For the sake of Your Son, Jesus, Christ, have mercy on us. Forgive us, renew us, and lead us, so that we may delight on Your will and walk in Your ways, to the glory of your Holy name. Amen.

I almost never can say it with dry eyes. I know who I’ve sinned against. I know who I’ve hurt the most. It’s these people that I love more than anyone in the world.

I hang on to the absolution for dear life.

But God in Mercy has given His Son to die for you and for His sake forgives you all your sin.

And God’s strong word cleaves the darkness, repairs what I’ve fractured and unites what I’ve severed. He creates faith where there is unbelief, hope where there is hopelessness, and peace where there is despair. By His stripes, we are healed.

I remember that repentance is the way of life.

I couldn’t hold this all together even if I tried.

So, I lay it down in confession, all the pieces, disparate and torn, and He counts my tears and raises the dead and all I see are light and life.

S’mores Bars

August 6, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 27 Comments

Well. I can’t give you a good reason why we’ve been friends all these years and I’m just now getting around to sharing this recipe. It’s a good one—one that we make it several times every summer, in between all the actual s’mores making and the monster cookies.

My peeps LOVE these and once you taste them, you’ll see why.

(I hate to even mention this but I may be one of 3 people on earth who doesn’t like s’mores. I don’t really like them. I’m sorry. I apologize to all you s’mores loving people out there. I love watching the kids makes s’mores but that is one sweet that doesn’t tempt me.)

BUT. S’mores bars? I’m completely powerless. I don’t know how to make you understand but it’s true.

You also could cut this recipe in half and make it in an 8×8 pan but I usually make the whole thing and either give away or freeze.

What you’ll need:

1 cup butter, room temperature (2 sticks)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 3/4 cup graham cracker crumbs
2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
6-8 regular sized Hershey’s milk chocolate bars (8 if you want chocolate in every bite, which I do!)
1 1/2 cups marshmallow creme/fluff (7 1/2 oz jar)
A handful of miniature marshmallows (for garnish if you’d like)

What you’ll do

Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease an 9×12-inch square baking pan.
In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until light. Beat in egg and vanilla. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, graham cracker crumbs, baking powder and salt. Add to butter mixture and mix at a low speed until combined.
Divide dough in half and press half of dough into an even layer on the bottom of the prepared pan. This dough can be hard to spread, so I use a butter knife dipped in warm water or the ball of my hand dipped in warm water. It spreads so much better if you do this.
Place chocolate bars over dough, breaking the chocolate (if necessary) to get it to fit in a single layer no more than 1/4 inch thick.
Spread chocolate with marshmallow creme or fluff.
Place remaining dough in a single layer on top of the fluff. If you put the dough evenly onto the bars in spoonfuls then use a wet knife to spread it, it’ll be much easier. Be patient. This part can be tricky. Just go slow and keep wetting your knife to spread the dough evenly.
Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until lightly browned. Cool completely before cutting into bars.

Here are a couple of extra photos to show you what I did.

When I cover the bottom half of the dough with chocolate, I try to cover it pretty fully.

Of course you are free to use less chocolate, but I would not recommend it. I’m not the kind of person who ever chooses less chocolate but you’re probably a better woman than me, so do what your conscience will allow.

Then you spread the layer of marshmallow cream over the hershey bars. It seems impossible when you first start but just be patient and it will spread.

After that, take the other half of the dough and put spoonfuls of it over the marshmallow cream, making it easier to spread it out. If you stand near the sink and keep wetting your knife with warm water, the dough spreads pretty easily.

Once the dough is spread, sprinkle a few miniature marshmallows on top and sprinkle with some of the leftover graham cracker crumbs.

Hope you try this one! These are some amazing bars!

Or you could just pin them and save yourself the calories!

S’mores Bars

5 from 10 votes

Print Recipe Pin Recipe

Ingredients

1 cup butter room temperature (2 sticks)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 3/4 cup graham cracker crumbs
2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
6-8 regular-sized Hershey's milk chocolate bars depending on whether you want chocolate in every bite.
1 1/2 cups marshmallow creme/fluff 7 1/2 oz jar
1/2 bag miniature marshmallows

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease an 9x12-inch square baking pan.
In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until light. Beat in egg and vanilla. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, graham cracker crumbs, baking powder and salt. Add to butter mixture and mix at a low speed until combined.
Divide dough in half and press half of dough into an even layer on the bottom of the prepared pan. This dough can be hard to spread, so I use a butter knife dipped in warm water or the ball of my hand dipped in warm water. It spreads so much better if you do this.
Place chocolate bars over dough, breaking the chocolate (if necessary) to get it to fit in a single layer no more than 1/4 inch thick.
Spread chocolate with marshmallow creme or fluff.
Place remaining dough in a single layer on top of the fluff. If you put the dough evenly onto the bars in spoonfuls then use a wet knife to spread it, it'll be much easier. Be patient. This part can be tricky. Just go slow and keep wetting your knife to spread the dough evenly.
Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until lightly browned. Cool completely before cutting into bars.

How We Made the Most of Summer

August 5, 2014 by Edie Wadsworth 17 Comments

Capri Sun provided free product for this post. The thoughts and opinions expressed in this blog post are my own.

Well. Here in East Tennessee there’s only a handful of summer days left. I think we went ALL in. I feel equal parts rested and spent.

As sad it I am to see summer fading, I’m equally excited to see fall coming, for reasons like boots and sweaters and football. (GO BIG ORANGE!)

We have wrung every possible joy out of summer until she’s left lying on the floor like a dried up monster cookie. (Which has been the official cookie/meal/snack of the Wadsworth Summer of 2014.)

We didn’t do anything fancy this summer. We mostly just hung out together. I took most of July off from blogging and it was a much needed respite.

And listen, I love Pinterest and blogging and social media as much as the next girl, but summer’s too long to be burning out in week 3 from trying to create the perfect magical Pinteresty summer. And also? #aintnobodygottimeforthat

I’ve been doing a lot of writing this summer so our activities needed to be low key and 1970’s-esque. (As in, mostly free activities that require very little adult supervision and zero trips to Hobby Lobby.) I’ve been up by 5am most mornings, trying to finish my work by 10 or 11. Then I walk around in the gardens and admire the extravagant growth of EVERYTHING! Including the girls, who are both as tall as me! The girls read and do chores (theoretically) and in general let me work until nearly lunch. (We picked blackberries from our yard almost everyday, which counts as both a chore and a fun activity!)

After lunch, we try to find something that involves the out of doors. It helps that we live on the lake, I’ll grant you that, but still, corralling the troops to do something active/productive/screenless/outdoors is not always that easy. As you well know. And we don’t travel much in the summer so we have taken summer staycationing to a whole new level. Here are a few things I’ve learned about making summer family memories without taking expensive vacations and without killing yourself from elaborate Pinterest inspired DIY projects.

Do everything you can outside

Everything is better outside, isn’t it? And outside is usually free. So far, we’ve waded in the creek, swam in the lake, rode 4 wheelers in the mountains, made s’mores by the campfire, and fished in the pond.

But there’s a whole host of indoor activities that are way more fun outside, like reading, painting, talking, taking pictures, journaling, art projects, and almost anything else you can think of. I know it’s hot. Listen, I live in the South and the humidity alone can make you crawl into the fetal position. BUT. The early mornings and late evenings are perfect for dates with the out of doors and then, if you add water to said activity, almost any time of day is manageable. And also? Back yard camp fires and s’mores makes every day better, am I right?

Invest in some outdoor gear

It’s amazing what a few inexpensive summer-y items can do for the general morale. For a no excuses summer, invest in a few things like hammocks, yard games, sprinklers, a fire pit, etc. Our favorite game lately is corn hole. We’ve played it ALL SUMMER LONG. It’s portable, easy to play for all ages, and so much fun. I’d like to say I’m the reigning champion but then that might sound like I’m competitive with my kids or something, which COULDN’T be farther from the truth. I’m offended that you would even think that. #naryatruerwordhasbeensaid #neverletthemwin

Be prepared with plenty of cold stuff

I have a small cooler that I take with us almost everywhere, even if we’re just outside playing. We keep bottles of water, Capri Sun juice drinks, Monster Cookies, almonds, pistachios, and fruit. We all have big water bottles that we drink on all day, but it’s fun to have something to look forward to after a riveting game of Corn Hole. And Capri Sun juice drinks have no artificial preservatives, flavors, or colors, so they’re awesome for moms and kids. Capri Sun has also made some changes to its packaging with juice drink pouches that now feature clear bottoms due to customer request. We’ve been buying those little handy pouches for years and they come in so handy when you need something portable. You can even play your yard game WHILE you drink. Maybe the refreshment as you play will help you beat your mom. But, I doubt it! One last thing. I highly recommend doing the occasional summer photo booth.

It’s totally worth it for the laughs.

I’m so sad summer is ending but I LOVE gearing up for fall, too. I cleaned out the fridge today and am working on some last minute cleaning and organizing before school starts. I also just had my porch ceiling repainted so I may just have to spend part of the day out there too!

(Wythe Blue by Benjamin Moore, in case you’re wondering!)

You can visit the Capri Sun parents site here and visit their Facebook page here.

My question for you is—what was your favorite thing about summer 2014?

Edie Wadsworth

What you’ll need:

What you’ll do

S’mores Bars

Ingredients

Instructions

Do everything you can outside

Invest in some outdoor gear

Be prepared with plenty of cold stuff