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life{in}grace

live with more presence, passion, & purpose

Edie Wadsworth

Pull up a chair, Let’s Chat!

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Pull up a chair and let’s chat. (It doesn’t hurt that it’s a super cute pink chair that I saw in @thenester‘s feed.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Yesterday, I posted about some of raw, hard truths of our journey with Tom Tom. Some of you took that post to mean that I’m not all in or maybe have some regret about the decision we’ve made to adopt. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Let me give you some context.

That post was inspired by a conversation I had with Stevie about how I miss Fridays when we would anticipate ALL week about picking TT up. We called Thursday Thomas-eve and our whole family couldn’t WAIT until Stevie brought him home to us. And he felt the same way about Fridays. He would get SO EXCITED to see us that he literally wouldn’t let go of my neck for two hours. We devoted those weekends totally to him and it was a mutual love fest.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Fast forward through Ms. Irene’s death and ALL OF US adjusting to him living with us full time. The honeymoon ended. We now had to be parents who made him do things that he didn’t want to do like eat decent food and go to school and pick up his toys.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This transition has been amazing and beautiful and so hard.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We miss being the fun/weekend Steve and Edie. We miss the way he looked at us every second he was here. We miss being his favorite people. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Now we’re his boring parents. And because he’s grieving and trying to heal, he tells us both often, how much he loves us and how much he hates us.

I get it.

I don’t like us either sometimes in this new role. I wish we could still be the fun weekend people. And though sometimes we are, we’re also the mean, boring parents who won’t let him have his iPad every time he wants it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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All that to say, we are so all in. If you could know the tears we shed on an almost daily basis, the time and effort we put into helping him thrive, the therapy, the courts, the prayers, the desperation to make this right….⠀

So here’s to all of you who are in hard seasons. Yay for you for not asking that it be easier or prettier or less painful. Yay for you for carrying heavy burdens and still showing up with love to those who need you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

1. Reclaiming Your Past

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1. Reclaiming Your Past

We often define ourselves by our past. We think we can’t escape the circumstances of our upbringing or our wounds or our failures.

In this episode, I’ll show how to reimagine your past that you can question the story you’ve been telling yourself. Once you learn this simple technique, you’ll get all your power back to write your story in a way that helps you create the life you want.

my shopping addiction and HELP for the mama who is stuck!!

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The year was 2007 and had just given up my job as a family physician and I was as LOST as lost could be.

I was bitter and confused and I didn’t know how to process all the loss and chaos of my life so I chose to numb myself instead.

I didn’t do anything outright scandalous but I nurtured a sort of secret shopping addiction.

I’m pretty sure my youngest had 12 swim suits each that year.  (I know I’m over this way of numbing myself because I live on the actual lake now and have worn the same tired swim suit for 4 years. I may need some shopping help now!)

But the thing I learned about secret addictions is that 1) You only think they’re secret.  The people you live with are smarter than you think, and 2) The things you buy only make you feel better for like 3 days or if you’re lucky 3 months, until which time you are loading them up and hauling them to Goodwill, while you fill up your online shopping cart with something you’re SURE will be answer to your woes.  It never is.  It only complicates the problem and makes you poor.

Thank the Lord, that phase of my life didn’t last long.  The craziest thing I bought was a sewing machine from QVC in the middle of the night in a rage of hormones.  In my defense, I did eventually use that machine to get through some pretty tough homeschooling days.

My point is, numbing ourselves is easier than sitting in the discomfort of our lives and facing our emotions and failures and losses and fears.

Maybe you don’t choose Land’s End, maybe it’s the hours you spend scrolling social media every day or your very unhealthy relationship with food or a pile of medications that you aren’t even sure are helping, or alcohol, or pornography, or even something seemingly as harmless as your Netflix addiction.

We are so good at running from REAL THINGS, so eager to escape to an easier version of life.  We are pros at it, actually.

But when we run and hide and numb, we are only compounding the problem and we are training our brains to be good at whatever numbing we choose.

I finally decided that I was tired of being really good at shopping or eating or mindlessly scrolling Facebook.

We also don’t realize how much we will come to loath ourselves when we numb. We hate that we never seem to have enough courage or self-discipline to make real change.  Our confidence tanks and that’s uncomfortable so we cycle back around to the thing that makes us feel better temporarily.  And the sick cycle carousel continues.

If any or all of this sounds familiar and steps on your toes, you’re not alone.

And I want us to dive deep into what is keeping us stuck and flat and unmotivated and unable to make real change.

WHY?!

Because you have been given a special work to do, a story to tell, a family to love, and people to serve.

Don’t let fear or apathy or self doubt keep you from doing in the world what only you can do. Yes, there will be fire and yes, there will be pain. But the alternative is to stay closed and stuck.

BUT.  If you stop hiding and running and numbing and open yourself, your mouth, your heart up—in the process, you will learn to live fully alive in your giftings, free from what has shamed you and caused you to hide yourself, free to finally love and serve the people God has put right in front of you with everything that is in you, free to be everything you were created to be.

 That’s why I’m so excited about Reclaiming Your Best Beautiful Life – a FREE online 30 day challenge for YOU to get unstuck and start living with all the fire and passion and purpose God put in that big heart of yours.  This challenge will…

  • ignite a fire in you as to who (and whose) you really are and what you were made to do
  • help you rediscover the best parts of you that have often been hiding or wounded or covered up by the stresses of life
  • help you discover practical strategies to develop your gifts & strengths, even in the midst of your busy life.
  • wake up to your unique vocation and shake the pesky bad habits that creep in when we dismiss our calling
  • nurture you toward the purpose and passion and creativity that is uniquely yours
  • give you a safe place and plenty of encouragement to daydream about the full and abundant life you were made to live.
  • discover proven and simple time management skills that will help you get more things done that matter
  • define your priorities and goals that you live life by design and not by default

My hearts desire is that by joining the 30-day challenge, you rediscover the passion, purpose and creativity in your life that has been missing or hidden and awaken to more love and compassion for others. Like the best glamping camp for adults, but better because you can do it from home with me and your favorite warm beverage.  

Let me help you RECLAIM YOUR BEST BEAUTIFUL LIFE!!

SIGN UP HERE!!! Just TWO more days until we start!!!

(If you’ve already signed up, let us know in the comments!!)

4 Myths About Essential Oils & the Truths That Might Surprise You

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I was sitting at my desk working on my Lenten devotional series when I glanced to the left and saw my oils stash, sitting there in all its rainbow glory.  It made me smile.

These little miracle bottles of unicorn tears have blessed me and my family in countless ways over the past three years.  

Then I turned to the abyss which is my inbox and got this email,

 “Dear Edie, I have followed your blog for years and I love everything you post. For some reason, I haven’t been able to make the leap with you into essential oils.  I trust you so I’m assuming there be something to it.  But it’s just confusing and weird and so trendy right now.  Is there really THAT much to them? I don’t mean to be negative, I’m really asking.  Do I  need them in my life and why.  Enlighten me sister.”

And so goes some version of that email nearly everyday in my inbox.  To save myself some time, I’m answering with a blog post!

So.

If you’ve been intrigued or skeptical or at least a little curious about essential oils but found all the conflicting information out there confusing and just need someone to tell you the truth,  I wrote this post just for you, sister.

As a physician and a long time skeptic of almost anything “natural,” including my hair color,  I’m no stranger to doubts and confusion and lackluster results around essential oils.

I bought my first starter kit so my friend would stop telling me how much I was sure to love the oils.  In other words, so they’d hush up about oils already.

And honestly, I thought it was the weirdest thing I had ever paid good money for.

And as a certified skeptic who let her kit languish in the recesses of her china cabinet for a year,  I hope to dispel a few of the myths that often surround oils.

Let me guess…

  • Though skeptical, you went so far as to pick a few oils up at the grocery story or from a friend only to be a unimpressed by their lackluster results.
  • Or. You have wondered if there’s really anything to the crazy success stories you sometimes see on the internet.
  • Or.  Someone on Facebook drives you crazy with their constant sales pitches and even if you wanted to, it makes you NOT want to try them.
  • Or.  You’re pretty sure this is just a passing fad and you don’t want to fall for something expensive and/or pointless only to find out there’s was nothing substantial to it.

I promise I won’t waste your time.  Busy mamas (like you and me) don’t have a SECOND to waste on things that aren’t directly linked to taking care of the people we love and keeping all the balls in the air.  As a physician and veteran mama, I wouldn’t be writing this if I didn’t think it would change how you take care of yourself and your family for the better.  Hang with me here, I know I can help dispel some of the myths that have kept you on the fence.

Myth #1: You need to have some sort of specialized training to use oils.

Well, let me assure that this is just not true.

Oils are designed by God for our benefit. Just like he made food for us.  And we don’t need specialized training in food. (I guess there could be an argument made for that, though!)  We just need to eat the food He made.  When we don’t eat what He made for us, we get into trouble.  The same is true with oils.  Just use the gifts from the plants that HE made for us—the ones well known to provide benefits for us,  and leave the rest to Him.

Is there fancy chemistry associated with the oils and how they work? Yes, I have a whole training video on that and it’s QUITE fascinating.  But the oils do their magic whether you know how they work or not.

There is a learning curve, make no mistake about it.  That’s why you need to make sure you join up with someone who will teach you and mentor you along the way. (more about that later.)

But it really is just as simple as using them regularly, like you eat food, and watching what happens.  They work amazingly well, whether you’re a physician and a chemistry major (now I see where that comes in handy in my life!) or a 5 year old who just likes the smell and novelty of the little bottles!

My private Facebook group is the perfect case study for a bunch of mamas who are finding amazing results with essential oils without having any sort of special training.  They come in with a little humility and curiosity, ready to learn, and they find that a month or two or eight later, they have learned so so much about how to better take care of themselves and their families.  It’s been a JOY to watch!!

(Make sure to download this free cheat sheet to see if you’re using oils all wrong, like I did for the first year!)

Myth # 2: Learning to use oils is a ton of work & I don’t have time for it

Here’s where having a mentor is SUCH a gift.

You don’t have to reinvent the wheel, because I already did.  I made all the mistakes, I stayed up late and got up early many, many days because I was so captivated by what the oils were doing for me and what I was learning about them.

But I’ve simplified the process and created so many FREE resources so that you don’t have to do that.

Right now, for instance, I’m writing a brand new class that I’ll be teaching tomorrow in our private FB group all about emotions, hormones, and intimacy, right on time for Valentine’s Day. It’s SUCH a fun topic and fun class and I can’t wait to share it with my group.

Last year, I developed  classes on Gut Health, Toxin Free Living, Hormones, Healing Oils of the Bible, and many more.  Those are all waiting for you inside my group.

I can’t promise that you won’t fall down the rabbit hole of complete and utter AMAZEMENT at our God made our bodies and how His gifts support them but I will promise you that I will make it easy and fun and understandable.

 

Myth #3 – I’m fine; I tried oils a few years ago and they didn’t really work for me.

Same.

The exact same thing happened to me.  And here’s what I learned after trying many different brands and stores and oils.

Essential oils are not created equal.  There is a VAST difference between the oils I use now and the ones I tried over the years.  They are not even comparable.

And honestly, even with good oils, without a little guidance, it can be so overwhelming that you give up before you get results.  It’s happened to plenty of us.

Much like good quality, organic food grown by a farmer who cares, if you get REAL, authentic oils that come from REAL plants and REAL farms, they will change your life.  They will transform the way you think about health and wellness. They will give you REAL tools to help your family.  They will reduce your stress and improve the way your body functions.  Your immune system will get stronger, your hormones will start to balance, your digestion will improve, your mood will get BETTER.

I promise you that if you give real oils a fair try, you’ll never be without them again.

It took my skeptical, scientist husband Stevie a long time to embrace oils, but he often says how amazed he is at how well they work.  That right there is a miracle in and of itself!

Myth #4 – No thanks, I’m a christian and I’m not into weird healing practices like rubbing oils on my body.

We are a culture addicted to quick, ineffective fixes and as someone who spent most of her 20’s learning about pharmaceuticals, I can tell you that most of them are just that.  They don’t get to the underlying cause of anything. They silence the alarm system of our bodies and that’s it, at least usually.  Sure, there are some amazing discoveries that have been made and some life saving drugs on the market, but just look around. Are these making us overall healthier and more able to cope with the stress of life?  If so, then why are there SO MANY pharmacies and doctor’s offices everywhere?

It seems to me that we have become very good at keeping ourselves in a state of low grade sickness for a very long time.  It seems that we aren’t as a culture thriving, feeling good and full of energy and ready to serve the world with our gifts. At least most aren’t. 

We are sicker than we’ve ever been and we worship at the altar of modern medicine.  We look to those little (often toxic to our bodies) pills as saviors.  And sometimes they are.  But often, they are not.

We honor the white coat as if it represents something like a god.  We trust it implicitly.  And I get it.  I wore that white coat for years.  But we’ve stopped trusting ourselves and our ability to know what’s best for us.

So often, when I practiced medicine,  I did what I was trained to do—prescribe drugs.  And when it finally dawned on me that maybe those weren’t always the best choice for people, that maybe getting off some of those drugs, and changing our lifestyle and our stress level and our nutrition would be a far better approach, I began to see holes in the system everywhere.

It dawned on me that if Pfizer could make a drug that would make me feel less stressed that maybe God could too. And maybe God’s way was more holistic in its approach.

Could it be that He filled the world with the essences of plants he made and that those plants would be so often good for us?  Yes, and the fact that most drugs come from plants is good proof of that.

So, if it has you weirded out that it’s a strange way of doing things, it really isn’t.  It’s as old as Adam and Eve and there’s evidence that nearly every ancient culture used oils for a wide variety of things.  Sometimes there’s an incredible amount of wisdom in looking back.  Which reminds me of the verse in Revelation that says, “the fruit of the trees shall be for their food and the leaves of the trees for their healing.”

Every new thing you try feels weird at first and then you often realize that it was your own thinking that needed adjusting.

At least that’s what happened for me.

My wish for you is to sidestep the doubts and confusion and insecurities of using oils so that you can finally discover their magic.  They are potent little drops of love that will do amazing things in your body.

I’ve been doing using and studying oils for over 4 years now and I’ve made MANY mistakes along the way. SO MANY.  You don’t need to do the same!

I’ve compiled a list of 5 of my biggest rookie mistakes in learning to use oils and how to avoid them!

You can download it here.

Included in the cheat sheet is a bonus video on how I use oils in my everyday life!

And if you’ve read enough and are ready to start your journey toward a more holistic approach to health, I’d love to help you get started here!  You’ll get added to my group (of almost 5,000!)  just in time for our LOVE class!!

If you’re still curious and wanting to learn more, be on the look out for a jam packed master class coming up at the end of the month! I’ll let you know when you can sign up!!

 

My Chosen [Third Thursday of Advent]

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Isaiah  42: 1 Behold my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights. I have put my Spirit upon him.

We still can’t stop talking about the weekend.

Bearing witness to beautiful things changes us, reshapes us in ways we don’t even realize.

And the essence of beauty is giving.  We are God’s chosen ones and He delights in us, like only a Father can.  He has put his Spirit in us so that we can freely give this gift of His love and light to others.

Christ is the ultimate beautiful.  He has come to give Himself away, in every possible way, even to the point of death, so that we may live abundantly.  There is an extravagance in the way beauty gives itself that teaches us maybe the most important life lesson.  What makes us beautiful is the way we lavishly give ourselves to others in a million little ways.  We dance, sing, cook, play, create, and practice the art of serving one another with our gifts.

The point was driven home a few years ago when I read the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. They describe that beauty is not some ‘conjured up’ set of external qualities, but is instead the essence of what God has already put inside of us. We don’t strive to ‘gin up’ beauty, we simply let down the veil—to our hearts—to the part of us that inspires, comforts, speaks, invites, and nourishes. We let down our guard to the beauty God has placed there, making ourselves available and vulnerable. We generously give ourselves to others.  And we do that by being ‘at rest’, ‘at peace’ with who God has made us to be.

“A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest…..she exudes a sense of calm, and invites those around her to rest as well……she speaks comfort….she offers others the grace to be and the room to become….in her presence, we can release the tension and pressure that so often grip our hearts…..Her spacious beautiful soul invites other to come, to be, to taste see that the Lord is good…A woman who makes herself vulnerable and available for intimacy invites others to do the same….in her presence, you can breathe again, you are free to be you….she unveils her beauty and invites you to life.

May Advent teach us about unveiling our truest beauty and giving ourselves sacrificially to those we love.
If there is one thing our family and our world needs, it’s to see us without the veil, offering our hearts and our presence in tenderness, for the sake of seeing the grace of God born anew in us all.

 

Longing [Third Monday in Advent]

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Psalm 119:81 My souls long for your salvation, I hope in your word. My eyes long for your promise.

I wish that were all true for me. The truth is, my soul longs for things not good for it, I often hope in the tangible things of this world that I can see. My eyes are too often fixed on the next thing I think I need.  My desires are all wrong.  I want the wrong things and those things—recognition, money, status, greed—never satisfy.  They only create in my heart more of the wrong longing.  My love and desire is corrupted.  I need retraining.

James K.A. Smith says, “In worship we don’t just come to show God our devotion and give him our praise; we are called to worship because in this encounter God (re)makes and molds us top-down. Worship is the arena in which God recalibrates our hearts, reforms our desires, and rehabituates our loves. Worship isn’t just something we do; it is where God does something to us. Worship is the heart of discipleship because it is the gymnasium in which God retrains our hearts.”

I don’t go to the gym BECAUSE I’m strong, I go there to train my body to be stronger.  My daughter doesn’t dance six hours a day because she’s already a great athlete and dancer, she trains her body to do things it doesn’t naturally desire to do.  And then somewhere after practicing the habit over and over, her body wants to become better and better and is willing to do the work it takes.

And so with our faith life.  We don’t worship because we have the right desires and are spiritually strong.  Just the opposite.  We are weak and our desires are often jaded.  So in humility, we place ourselves in training, to hear the word and receive God’s gifts.   He so graciously remakes our hearts and re-forms our desires so that we finally begin to want what is truly good for us, what will make us happy and at peace.  Our habits, then, are the training ground for our desires, so that we learn to love what is good and right and pure.