Edie Wadsworth

God Bless Texas…….and Donia…….

November 16, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 12 Comments

These are some of my dearest friends in the world……
This is mocha cake……
This is their story.

Donia, THE girl in the picture above came to visit Friday. No she’s not from Texas and no she doesn’t host a show on the Trinity Broadcasting network. (I’m giggling). She used to live in my wonderful neighborhood with the other two beautiful women, Sue and Donna. We were some of the first people to move into this neighborhood 7 or 8 years ago. Donia has since moved to Tampa (where she has recently changed her ‘big’ hair to this new less-Texas style because everybody kept asking her if she was from Texas).

I would love to be from Texas, BTW, and I would love to have Donia’s massive head of hair. But that’s for another post.

I’m only teasing her ’cause I’m jealous. Donia came to visit for a brief couple of hours on Friday so we did what we always to……. we ordered sushi and ate mocha cake….and we laughed and chatted and laughed some more. Donia is a wonderful dear friend to us and used to be my work out partner. If you could see her in all her glory you’d know how strong my self esteem is. She’s beautiful and skinny and buff and funny….

and I miss her dearly.

When she first moved in , my next door neighbor Donna, who is an angel sent from heaven and always immediately bakes bread and befriends new neighbors, invited Donia to go to the country club with us…….TO THE POOL.

“Why, for the love of Texas, would you invite HER to go the pool with us Donna.” Have you taken a good look at her. This is the kind of girl you invite to go to…

…I don’t know…

…lunch..

..at Golden Corral…

….so we can properly fatten her up.

Not the pool. Little miss angel had her way. We took her to the pool. And despite the fact that we probably looked like her staff, and she looked like a celebrity from Baywatch, that was the start of a friendship that will endure.

And over the years, we had this little tradition…..where we get together and eat sushi and I make mocha cake (I know my place) and somebody usually brings little love gifts and we hug and laugh and enjoy each other. Probably what I love about Donia most is that she is genuine. And funny and so easy to be around. Just don’t take her to the pool. I mean it.

Other random facts about Donia:

1.She’s from Arkansas

2. so that makes us both southern.

3. She started me on my obsession with diet pepsi.

4. And weight training.

5. ‘Cause I was tired of sitting beside her at the pool.

6. all soft and blubbery.

7. She doesn’t eat vegetables.

8. Or anything green.

9. Not even tiny specks of lettuce in spring rolls.

10. She doesn’t drink coffee.

11. Which almost ended our friendship.

12.’Cause I got a healthy amount of skepticism for anyone who doesn’t drink coffee.

13. She’s fiesty. In a ‘don’t-mess-with-me-I’m-from-Texas’ kinda’ve a way.

14.She got into a fight in high school

15. I told you not to mess with her. Or take her to the pool.

16. She is one of the most caring and compassionate friends I’ve ever had.

17. She always ‘has your back’.

18. She can do shoulder presses with 30 lb. dumbbells.

19. She has a bedazzler and multiple glue guns.

20. She once gave up cursing for Lent.

21. And didn’t make it the whole 40 days.

22. She decorates the most beautiful cakes. Ever.

23.And I went through a bit of a depression when she moved. Friends like her don’t come along everyday. I remember vividly the day I went to her house to ‘see her off’. I cried when we hugged. And all the way home. And for parts of many days after. I miss her so much.

“Eros will have naked bodies, friendship naked personalities.” C. S. Lewis

The heart is deceitful above all things……..

November 15, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 13 Comments

I read a recent post by Denise and it made me think. It was about evil and taking a stand against it and not being ashamed. Her and I must both be in the same funk. Ya know, the one I’ve been in since I quit working. It has given me lots of time to ponder many things in my life. There’s nowhere to hide anymore for me. My regrets, my heartache, my sin…..is ever before me….with no life-shattering emergency to push it back down to dark recesses of my heart. Where I have safely kept many issues through the years. They’re right beneath the surface now. And sometimes it’s hard to pretend they aren’t there. So I deal with them, slowly
and thoughtfully….and sometimes painfully. And grieve. And cry. And repent.
I do think about evil. But since I became Lutheran, I think about it in a totally different way. Some evils seem easier to pick out than others. Terrorism, starving people, satanism, child abuse, abortion…..those seem easy to call evil. We like things nicely divided in our minds. It makes it easy to toss them in the ‘evil’ basket……and to judge those who are propagating the ‘evil’. And God does hate evil. For sure. But can we always be sure where it lurks? Do we have the black line so definitely drawn around it that we miss some of the most vile and bitter evil of all? Paul said it this way, “Even when I would do good, I find an evil that is present in me”. So do I…….I have become more aware of my own evil and sinfulness over the past two years than I’d care to share. And it makes me uncomfortable. If I am totally honest with myself and God, there is evil present in everything I do. I hope someone notices when I bake bread for my ailing neighbor….I relish in nice things people say about my home….I try to push down ill feelings that rise up in me about a friend…..I envy, I lie, I covet, I lust. Remember when Jesus said that if you have anger in your heart toward your neighbor, you are guilty of murder. When the definition is sin is extended to that degree, I have nowhere to hide. I am riddled with sin. Every moment. Every thought. Even my best moments and thoughts. And so are you, if you’re honest. My brokenness paralyzes me sometimes. So, how do I process the guilt and the grief that overtake me? I cry out. To God. Who said to me, “and you who were once estranged and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled you in his body by His death, in order to present you blameless and irreproachable before Him…”. He has covered my evil….by His blood….a redemption and atonement of the most epic nature. But until the day that this mortal body is redeemed, I will live in a paradoxical tension….of both saint and sinner. Of having my sin forgiven under the blood and cross of Christ…..and then waking up another day to live in this blessed but debased human flesh. Which ‘only thinks of evil all the time”. So lately when I ponder evil, I don’t get much past my own depravity. And that….makes me evermore grateful that He has come to rescue me from myself…. from my sin. from my brokenness. I leave you with this song by Lifehouse called “Broken”. Sometimes a song can say it all.

Most merciful God, we confess that we are by nature sinful and unclean and have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed by what we have done and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart and we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We justly deserve your present and eternal punishment. For the sake of Your son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us. Forgive us, renew us, and lead us, so that we may delight in Your will and walk in Your ways……Almighty God in His mercy has given His son to die for you and for His sake forgives you all your sins.”

Love and prayers to you….

November 14, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 9 Comments

Thank you to Jessica and Keli for this award. And let me first say that I’m a little tardy acknowledging them. But thank you girls so much for thinking of me.

And to Angie for this award. All this bloggy love I’m gettin’ is great… but I’m a little technically challenged so all this linking takes me FOREVER…..and I think I’m supposed to link back to the original award givers, but that would mean my children won’t get breakfast.

So mucho thanks girls. I would pass these awards on individually , but again all that linking…..kids no breakfast….so forgive my laziness but I how about all my sweet and faithful readers take these awards and with them, my gratitude for keeping me inspired, updated, laughing, and thinking. K? I send you awards and love and promises of a little Christmas cheer and a peek into my girl’s night very soon.

For now enjoy this prayer that the girls and I read this morning before school:

Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, my Savior, I approach You in this morning hour, beseeching You to let Your grace and mercy go with me through the day. Let Your presence give me the blessed assurance of Your divine protection amid dangers, guidance amid uncertainty, and strength against temptations. Bless the labors of my hands. Bless our home with your continued presence. Bless our nation, and let righteousness and peace prevail. Bless Your Church and keep her in Your word and truth. Bless our schools, and grant that boys and girls may grow in grace and knowledge of You and Your will. Remember not the sins of my youth nor my many trespasses. Bring me safely home tonight, and keep me steadfast in faith; through Jesus Christ, my Redeemer. Amen

Love to you all and have a great weekend!

Please let me know (as a very small informal survey) which of you will decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving and why or why not?

And congratulations to Angie from the above link….who is probably snuggling into her new scarf as we speak!!

Confessions of a frustrated overachiever……

November 13, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 20 Comments

Sure fire signs you have adult ADD…… and probably need professional help:
1. You are addicted to one or more of the following substances/activities: coffee, exercise, adrenalin, diet pepsi, Full Throttle, sugar, chocolate, RockStar, Monster, internet dance tutorials .
2. You cannot unload your dishwasher all at once. You unload the top, then make the coffee. Then you unload the bottom, followed by folding half a load of laundry. Finally, you put away the silverware. And later you do the other half of the load of laundry.
3. You cannot go for a run without your ‘audio adrenaline’ (ipod) and you change the songs frequently to avoid boredom.
4. You lose your keys. Frequently. And misplace all receipts. And forget to pay your child’s dance tuition. And can’t find the book that you just received from Amazon YESTERDAY. You make plans and vows that from this day forward you will always put things away where they go. You last 3 minutes.
5. You have ten books all ‘in progress’ . You make deals with yourself that before the clock strikes ten, you must finish chapter 3 of say….Heart of Darkness. Only to get distracted by how to do a turn in the waltz…… which drives you to the computer…..45 minutes later you go back to bed and vaguely remember that there was something very important you were gonna do before you starting waltzing.
6. You have countless unfinished projects in your house….because you’re great at STARTING things, but easily lose interest. Like that one small area in your kitchen that you never painted…from 4 years ago. Despite the fact that you’ve repainted the other walls 3 times.
7. You have to use every ounce of restraint within you to sit through a whole movie….vowing only to get up for extreme bodily emergencies. Despite the effort, you’re up and down no less than 12 times. In one hour.
8. Change is like air to you. You cannot for the life of you follow anything that might slightly suggest a schedule. Your girls (that you homeschool) notice this and remind you often that math comes after bible.
9. This need for variety is evident in your cooking. You make nearly 30 different dishes in 30 days. And when greek stir fry comes up in the rotation, you find several ways to ‘change’ it from last time.
10. You almost never wear the exact same outfit. Unless it’s supercute and then you wear it 4 days in a row. Although you’ve made amazing strides in your spending, you are unable to pass up that pair of Steve Madden boots that was on sale for $20. Despite the fact that you have many more boots than you can safely fit in your closet. And you have nowhere to wear them.
11. You are always talking about organizing…..coming up with elaborate organizing systems…and buying multiple organizing containers. Only to find that all those methods/systems/containers require supervision from someone who does not have ADD.
12. You make stacks of things everywhere….with good intentions to process through all those bills/books/magazines/etc. Three months later you realized you missed the deadline to redeem your free gift at the bookstore. That was in the bottom of a stack that you never got to. Along with the physical form for your sons’ Cross Country team— and the season just ended.
13. You realize these weaknesses and do the best you can to plan your tasks in small-doable increments….and for the most part, live a productive normal life. But you often fall prey to books with this title: Organizing Solutions for People with ADD: Tips and Tools for How to Take Charge of Your Life.
14. Your calendar looks like you were crawling with activity in August and September and then either died or misplaced your calendar for ten months. But you have all the hope in the world…that next years’ gonna be the year for you. So you make your new years resolutions with vigor. And buy a different kind of calendar…thinking that the one from last year just wasn’t…….big enough. You’re gonna keep a calendar…..and all your appointments….and balance your check book……and follow a diet program. January 25 comes and you’re sure you’ve missed someone’s birthday but you can’t remember who……or where your calendar is…..or where that pesky food journal went.
If you feel scared that I’ve crawled inside your brain and told all your darkest secrets….be comforted. Here’s the upside for people with ADD and their loved ones: These are the reasons people love you…..taken from an adult ADD website.

Positive characteristics of adults with ADD / ADHD
The symptoms of ADD / ADHD are not all negative. People with ADD / ADHD also have many positive traits that are directly tied to their active, impulsive minds:

Creativity – People with ADD excel at thinking outside of the box, brainstorming, and finding creative solutions to problems. Because of their flexible way of thinking about things, they tend to be more open-minded, independent, and ready to improvise.
Enthusiasm and spontaneity – People with ADD are free spirits with lively minds—qualities that makes for good company and engrossing conversation. Their enthusiasm and spontaneous approach to life can be infectious.
A quick mind – People with ADD have the ability to think on their feet, quickly absorb new information (as long as it’s interesting), and multitask with ease. Their rapid-fire minds thrive on stimulation. They adapt well to change and are great in a crisis.
High energy level – People with ADD have loads of energy. When their attention is captured by something that interests them, they can have virtually unlimited stamina and drive.

Remember this post is just general information. I had no specific person in mind. Really.

"Over the mysteries of female life, there is drawn a veil, best left undisturbed"

November 10, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 40 Comments

Welcome to my 100th post party!! If you’re male…read the title to this post and type “ESPN” into the browser. Really. There’s nothing for you here. Stevie, you can stay. For all you women left, I’m so excited and have some fun surprises for you. First of all, I dressed up for the party. I washed, blow-dried and curled my hair. I put on cute boots and my favorite MAC eye shadow. Oh and a cute outfit too. (Okay I lied, I took these pictures after church yesterday) but since I’m normally sporting yoga pants and a pony tail….I thought I’d surprise you!
If I can just figure out how country girl gets those self-portraits to turn out so good.
Let’s see if I hold the camera like this and then….oh, wait I forgot to look up……
oh, just forget it…..on to my 100th post. Which is all about blogging. And how blogging has become my ‘well’. I take this analogy from a post I read here, and thought it summed up my feelings about blogging. This writer was an athiest and has now converted to catholicism. And a career woman now converted SAHM to three little ones. I am (was) a family practice doctor and am no longer working……so that I can stay at home with my children….and homeschool the two youngest. This transition for me has been the hardest one of my life. At least up to this point. I went from seeing and helping lots of people everyday…..to seeing and helping 6 people everyday. The same 6 people….who don’t always want or value my help. Let me first say that I LOVE what I’m doing now and am more than thankful to my husband that I am able to do it. That said, I have felt tremendous isolation and loneliness. Is there anybody else out there? who knows what it’s like to pray that you see a familiar face at the grocery store. At 5am? I’ve even made friends with the butcher. Great guy. Also named Steve. He saves me the ground sirloin that’s on sale. Am I crazy to be somewhat relieved when my faucet is leaking because at least the plumber will stop by? Okay maybe I was never that lonely…..but close. Then there you came. I was introduced to blogworld by my friend Denise. A thousand thank-yous Denise because I’ve met so many great friends. In the above mentioned article, Jennifer talks about how women have always socialized with each other….. and in ancient times, it was around the town well….to draw water to take care of their families. We need it. Each other, that is. Okay and water too. We were not designed by our Creator for isolation. So, what does a busy mom do who is homeschooling and preparing meals and taking care of her house and doing laundry, and feeling a little ‘thirsty’ on the inside? Does she sit with her loneliness and yearn for adult conversation? No. She blogs my friend. She goes to the well, for fellowship, for companionship, for the fresh cool psychological and spiritual water she is thirsty for. For me it looks something like this. I get up at 4:30 or five and after a little quiet time, I write my post for the day….or at least think about what I would write.
I then visit some of my favorite blogs. I laugh (Country Girl), I cry (NieNieDialogues), I learn (Restoring the Years), I think (Conversion Diary), I envy (The Nester), I wish I was a writer (Mabel’s House) or a great amatuer photographer (Confessions of a Pioneer Woman) and sometimes if I have something to say or some encouragement to offer….I comment. I’ve been amazed at the power of mom blogs. Just check out Confessions of a Pioneer Woman or Soulemama. Blogging is a powerful venue for the expression of ideas….and I’m happy to contribute my little two cents to the dialogue. I start my laundry and dishes and homeschooling and then around 10a at our first break, I check a comment from a sweet reader who wishes me well and loves my brownie recipe. At lunch, I do the same thing and maybe visit a few more sites I like. Just little 2 or 3 minute snippets at a time and soon, I feel connected. Part of a larger community of christian mom bloggers who may or may not work/homeschool. Sometimes I read serious blogs that challenge my thinking and make me do some research. A lot of times, I get fabulous decorating ideas and can’t wait to try them. But always…..always…..I feel thankful. That I’m not alone. That Jessica, Ang, Keli, Kelly, Brooke, Gina,Denise, JamieKnoxville, Cindy, Liz, Sandy, Carrie….and you and you and you are there.

I’m fascinated by blogworld. And I’m always on the hunt for someone I can really connect with. Sometimes I can’t explain it….I wander onto a blog and do the equivalent of a drive-by. The font’s too little, the background wallpaper is too busy, the music is bad. Because I’m southern, I feel the need to be a grateful guest….then about halfway through the post I just lose it and close the whole window. I feel guilty. Like a bad friend whose not really listening when you’re trying to tell them about all your problems. Is that bad? How do you decide what blogs you can afford to devote 2 minutes of your day to? Like you, my time is like gold….so if I can’t connect, I move on. What makes me connect or decide there will be no connecting? I don’t know. I make my decisions quickly and without regret. Except for the guilt. Then if I happen upon a blog for the 2nd time when I’ve previously done a drive-by…..I just know that the author of the blog is staring at me saying, “Yeah, wasn’t good enough for ya the first time, huh? I’m not a homeschooler, is that what it is? My music’s too traditional? My font’s too small, is that it? Then I start apologizing profusely….to the profile picture on the computer screen. And make excuses about how the first time I visited one of the children got hurt and had to go get stitches and I always meant to come back and make amends…..for the drive-by.

Then there are those magic moments of connection; what? she homeschools…and runs…..and reads good books….and cooks….and loves make-up….and the eighties. Manna from heaven. That’s why I’m so thankful for you guys, out there in blogland, who actually read this stuff. And make sweet comments. And encourage me. And tell me that I’m tall. And skinny. You lying fools. But I’ve gotten attached, in a virtual sorta way. I can’t wait to show you what I’m cooking and what great stuff my kids are doing and what decorating projects I’m working on…and what I’m reading, and on and on. I get kinda panicky if I’m gonna be out of town. Like I need to tell you my plans. So you won’t worry. Or forget me…that I’ll have some fun stuff to tell you and show you soon. And I love reading your blogs too. I get so excited about your stuff and your life and your kids. So this blogging thing has changed the way I live my life….or at least the way I think….about the way I live my life. And you couldn’t have come to me at a better time for me. This being my first year homeschooling…..I need you. I need to know that you’re home…..in the trenches……raising good soldiers too……and that you wonder if what you do matters and does anyone notice? ‘Cause those are the questions that haunt me sometimes when I think too long about the thirteen years I spent in school after high school becoming a doctor…so I could save the world. And here I am now. The only thing I’m saving is the leftover country style ribs from dinner so that I can make some killer soup tomorrow. But I am blessed and feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Living the life that June Cleaver only dreamed about. And it’s good. It’s right. And you….you….all have helped me know that. Blogging for me is so……necessary. So don’t go anywhere. Stay with me here at the well……grindin’ it out day after day……loving our men, teaching our kids, and ruling the world. One day and one post and one…..drink at a time.

Now because I love you all so much, I have a treat for you. The girls and I are studying ancient Egypt and today learned about King Tut. The song…..you know the one…..da da da da da da da da da da KING TUT…….came into my head. (Dont’ lie—you’re groovin’ already) So the girls and I searched You Tube and found Steve Martin himself singing it. This is education at its’ finest. I bet they don’t do this in real school! I got the girls on video dancing to it and they wouldn’t let me put it on my blog unless I let them video me too. So enjoy a laugh at my expense. This is the best I’ve got until I learn to swing dance.

Now pick yourself up off the floor and leave a comment. One of the lucky commenters will be sent my scarf. My random generator (two cute girls, ages 6 and 8) has predetermined which number is gonna win…..so it’s completely random. I’m all technical like that. I’ll let you know who wins this week and I’ll mail you the beautiful hand knit scarf I made. Easy on the King Tut dancing comments!!

To borrow JamieKnoxville’s favorite parting phrase,

“Love you long time”

Mexican food and septic tank troubles…..go figure!

November 10, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 10 Comments

So, today is Marcus’ birthday. He’s 22! We celebrated yesterday after church with one of his favorite meals……beef and chicken enchiladas with homeade queso and homeade salsa. And then of course, cookie cake. I would include some recipes but I don’t want my food in that close proximity to the Roto Rooter truck below. I’m picky like that. We had a great day and having the grandparents here made it that much more special.
Why is it that everytime I’ve had to call this guy in the past few years, it’s been at a major holiday or when I’ve had company or on a Sunday or all three? Septic tank problems are not what you hope for when company’s coming. Or already present. My neighbor even called and said, “So, you had to call Roto Rooter AGAIN”. Yeah, I know I know, they just came a couple months ago. I guess we’re just crappy like that. But having septic problems is kinda funny. Bad smells bring out laughter.
At the dinner table this is what I heard:

Emme: Ewww, what is that smell?

Grandpa Eddie: That’s you girlie. That’s from where you poop in the pooper all the time.

Emme: Huh-uh, Mom is it?

Me: Yep, grandpa’s right. Not just you though, all of us. We’re all to blame.

Emme: That’s deesgusting.

Grandpa Eddie to macdaddy: So when are they coming to fix it?

Macdaddy: Well, when I tried to give the guy directions, he said he had G-P-S. I told him “good, hurry then ’cause we got a lot of G-A-S in this house right now.”

And so it went all afternoon!

Turns out, maybe there’s something wrong with the pipes-and other gobbledy gook plumber-speak that I don’t understand- that’s been the cause of these frequent problems. Maybe we’re not so crappy afterall.