Edie Wadsworth

Little love gifts……

December 22, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 11 Comments

I’ve been assembling a few ‘love’ gifts for some special people in our lives and thought I’d show them to you.

Back in May, the kids and I picked strawberries and made homeade jam. And as of late I’ve been a sour dough bread ‘machine’……so naturally homeade bread and jam makes the perfect ‘love’ gift.
I like to print personalized tags from the computer and back them with scrapbook paper.
Another favorite is the Lutheran prayer book. It’s inexpensive and chock full of goodies. You don’t have to be Lutheran to love it……so I bought lots of them this year.
and wrapped them up beautifully.
And for those of you who don’t live close and won’t receive an actual love gift, I’ve got a couple ‘gems’ for you too. You may want to grab your coffee and sit a while with these.

You’re welcome.

P.S. The fact that this post follows directly after the one titled “The Hidden God” should either win me some prize at THE Most Severe Form of ADD contest or should put me next in line for This Year’s Most Charming Schizophrenic.

P.S.S. JamieKnoxville will study these pictures like a C.S.I. agent. I couldn’t have given her any better gift.

The Hidden God……

December 21, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 7 Comments

I’ve been reading a lot about the topic Christless christianity and how our inborn sinful nature is always bent towards self. We are by nature self-centered, self-focused and our perspective is always self oriented and is always distorted. Man’s natural theology is, in Lutheran circles, called a theology of glory. The rich man and Lazarus would be a good example. The rich man seemingly had everything……the world by the tail. He wore the finest garments, drank the finest wine and ate gourmet food. Lazarus in contrast seems to be a poor beggar who waits for the crumbs to fall from the rich man’s table. Based on just what you know on the surface, who is favored by God? We would often naturally conclude that the rich man must be favored by God. And we would almost always at least in our minds say “Well surely Lazarus has done something to deserve this”.

A theology of glory likes to ‘figure God out’ and likes to use logic to determine how things are between God and me. Don’t we often think this about those who do not seem to have God’s favor in this life? “Well, God must be trying to teach them something.” If we’re blessed and making moral improvement, we must be ‘right’ with God. And if not, well then the opposite must be true. But as you know, in death the rich man finds himself in hell and Lazarus is comforted in the bosom of Abraham. So can I look at my circumstances in life and tell how it is between God and I? How does God show His favor to those He loves? And how can I know if I have His favor? God hides His glory behind the weakness of the cross. And he shows His favor to us through the death and resurrection of His own son for our redemption. And I know I have His favor because I receive the gifts He has given in faith and thanksgiving. I am favored by God because of Jesus. Thus, a theology of the cross……interprets everything in my life……the blessings, the suffering, every circumstance through the perfect suffering of Christ on my behalf.

God’s ways are hidden and paradoxical:

1. God hides His glory in the mundane elements of bread and wine. Jesus has withdrawn His visible presence from the earth. He is now the hidden God and we must depend on His word to know what He is about. So when God says “Take eat, this is my body”, He is hidden, in-with-and under the bread. We don’t ‘see’ Him there and it seems impossible to me that He is there. So I must trust His very own words and find comfort in His hidden presence in His Word and sacrements.

2. He hides His glory in the weakness of a baby. When He comes to earth, He does not come in glory but in the flesh. The very incarnation of Christ is so incredible to me. How can this be? It was scandalous then and seems scandalous now and so unlike how I would have chosen to reveal myself to the world. The smallness of God in a lowly manger on a lonely night greeted by mere animals and born of the travail and sweat of childbirth. This is God? Yes, this is the very essence of the truth of God. Humbled. Lowly. With His glory hidden. To bring to us our very salvation.

3. He hides Himself in our vocation. God achieves His means of serving and taking care of us through the hiddenness of others doing their vocation. So God hides himself in : a mother making dinner for her family; a father going to work everyday to provide; a doctor using his skills and knowledge to effect healing; a teacher teaching multiplication to her students; the garbage man collecting the trash. It all ‘looks’ and ‘seems’ so mundane…..but that is God at work in the world. Serving and taking care of His people.

So we must take heed to let the theologian of glory in all of us be crucified with Christ. We must accept His ways as mysterious and hidden….. as not yet revealed. Whether our circumstances bring us joy or suffering, our posture to God should be one of repentance; a lensing of all of life through the cross of Christ. For in him are hidden all treasures of wisdom and knowledge. (Col. 2:3) He will come in glory someday and we await that day with great anticipation. But until then, He has hidden Himself in things that might seem ordinary and even mysterious to us: words, water, bread and wine.

Luther said that Our Lord does not want to be found outside Christ….so he hides Himself in order to be found only in the grace and mercy of Christ. He seldom comes where we expect or look for Him: in victory and glory and glitz. He comes where we do not expect him: in suffering, in shame, in humility, as a baby, in His word, in the water of baptism, in the elements of the Lord’s Supper. God wants to be found in the words of the promise in Christ that give new life. If we find Him outside of Christ, we find Him in wrath.

The ‘hidden’ God is hidden in Christ….come to us in the flesh to bear our sin and be our Savior and who says “I am the way, the Truth and the life and no man comes to the Father except through Me.”

Much of what goes on in modern Christianity seems very Christ-less; alot about ‘me’ instead of Christ ‘for me’. We are favored by God because of Christ alone.

7 Quick Takes…….

December 19, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 14 Comments

This is a 7 Quick Takes post……or 7 free association thoughts…….or 7 things I’ve been dying to tell you. You can link back to Jennifer’s awesome blog for others……

~~~~~~1~~~~~~~

I love wrapping gifts. I love the ribbons, the paper, the whole kit ‘n kaboodle. I often write the name right on the gift in pretty curly Q letters. A gift I have brought can be spotted a mile away. And I love it when it’s all the same wrapping paper. And I love polka dots. And if that paper so happens to be covering an iphone, I love it all the more.

~~~~~~~~~2~~~~~~~~~~

Remember this game? The girls and I did this for a craft one day. I know. I know. It’s no origami…..but it is paper folding. And turns out “Timmy and I will be married and have 6 children at the beach”. This little game producing giggling and cackling and snorting in my children which you cannot imagine. Every 12,865 times we played it.

~~~~~~~~~~3~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a picture from 2 Christmas’s ago, I think. And these attractive and smart young people are Steve’s children which I have come to adore. They will not be coming for Christmas which makes us very lonesome. We’ve grown accustomed to the chaos of Christmas with eight children. I shipped their goodies off yesterday and got a little teary eyed. We will miss you guys so much!

~~~~~~~~~4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a sudden overwhelming urge to paint everything in my house. I woke up one morning and am tired of it all. So you just wait. Come January, I’m gonna have more house projects going than I have Christmas decorations. Even this little bathroom…..which I have loved dearly over the years……..I sometimes lock myself in here just to enjoy the beautiful colors and silence. And I love the gecko. He wears that Christmas hat all year round, by the way. He’s a festive little guy. This kind of whimsical decorating has been my hallmark. I fear the gecko could be in danger of being kicked out. I feels the winds of change a-blowin’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~5~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meet my long lost friend Jake. He’s the beloved golden retriever that I rescued over 13 years ago. He has since gone to doggy heaven and gees have we missed this dog dearly. I dreamed about him for the longest time and Elea (6) still mentions him with tear filled eyes. (she’s her mother’s daughter, little sap) We’ve been planning to get another one soon and it can’t be soon enough for me. There’s something about having a ‘big’ dog in the house that just feels right. Know any good breeders?

~~~~~~~~~~~~6~~~~~~~~~~~

This picture is to remind me to start training for the half marathon soon. My muffin top is screaming that it can’t be soon enough. I know I’ve invited you before, but if you want to train with me and meet me in Nashville for the Country Music Half Marathon, please put down the piece of fudge (I’m talking to myself) and lace up those running shoes. Last year I ran this race and had a sentamental but groovin’ playlist that I ran the race to. I picked a special song that reminded me of my kids or of some special event or person in my life and ran my little heart out. Otherwise, thirteen miles can be long and monotonous for someone with ADD. I can get all manner of little dramas going on in my head as you know from my prior post. So, what do ya say? Are you in?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~7~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And last but not least, let me tell you two things about Stevie that you may not know. He grew up in frigid MN where ice abounds in the winter. And he played a lot of hockey. It should not have surprised me that he can skate and ski circles around me. I’m used to dominating in the skating arena. The first time my sister and I took our little kids roller skating, something overtook us. When we got our skates on ,the strobe lights came on and the song “Crocodile Rock” began to play, we left those five year olds to fend for themselves while we got our groove on. So imagine my chagrin to be completely out-skated and out-skied…..by a guy. This man is full of talents.

The One I Love………

December 17, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 16 Comments

Remember the song “The One I love” by David Gray? Well I rediscovered the song through Country Girl’s playlist and there’s something about it that I just love. I listened to it 473 times. Who am I kidding? I belted it out real loud 473 times while driving in my car. My children will certainly need therapy for these cathartic jam sessions. I conjured up images of Stevie and I falling on hard times (“tell the repo man”) and moving into a cozy 1200 square foot cottage and growin’ our own food and selling my hand-knit scarves for extra money…….to buy books and coats and milk for the children. The first 248 times, I’m sure I shed a little tear. (I conjured this all up while I was online picking out my new iphone and making my last order to American girl). Then I googled the lyrics and discovered that the song is probably about a soldier dying on the battlefield and that the ‘repo man’ is probably God reposing his very life. (Tears welled up in both eyes.)

Oh. Okay then.

So I googled ‘repose’ and then started my conjuring anew. No worries. I can roll with that. So in the very spot in my brain that should be storing important items like the password for paying the student loan payment, Stevie is now a soldier and is wounded and I am weeping hysterically over him on the battlefield and singin’ “Tell the repo man….and the stars above…..that you’re the one I love”. (That’s precisely when I realized that my item is backordered…..which disturbed the whole music video/drama thing that was going on in my head). No wonder I can’t remember anything. My brain is full. Of tiny little dramas from every song I love. And all my favorite C.S. Lewis quotes. And all the lyrics to Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. And a whole plethora of random, mostly useless information.

Well I love the song regardless. And it makes me teary-eyed. So I sing it with all the more conviction. Especially since Stevie’s a soldier now. So enjoy the song and any little drama that starts to play in your head. And enjoy the one you love. And be thankful for real life soldiers who make our ‘enjoying’ possible.

Sing it with me…….

“Won’t you take my hand dahlin’, on that old dance flaaw

We can twist and shout

Do the turtle dove

You’re the one I love

The One I love

Yooooo-hoooooo”

He will restore the years……

December 16, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 20 Comments

Those of you who are new to my blog can read about my son Taylor here and watch a video of a wonderful song he wrote based on Psalm 42 here. You can learn more about Caiti here. I write about the little girls all the time…..they’re home alot more than the teenagers. So today: a little spotlight on the teens. Taylor is 18 and Caiti is 16 and they have been such a blessing and joy to me through the years. Taylor graduates this year so every event has become a quasi-emotional breakdown fest. “This is the last time he’ll” fill-in-the-blank……at least while he lives at my house. These two are like the quintessential siblings. They do almost everything together and truly do love each other and when Caiti gets her feathers ruffled (every morning when Taylor is running late for school) she nags and scolds him like a worn out housewife. I’ve always said he’ll make the perfect husband and father (having had 3 sisters) or else he’ll convert to Catholicism and join the monastery. One things’ for sure, he knows high maintenance women inside and out. I can hardly believe that these two are grown up. It seems just yesterday I was taking this picture.
and walking on the beach with this little sweetie……
and buying batman paraphernalia for this one……
Where do the years go? And through all the teaching and nagging do they know beyond a shadow of doubt how much they are loved? Do they realize how many times I’ve cried out to God in desperation…….wishing that there was some way to take any heartache or sadness away? Alas. These moments of honest reflection are often swept away by, “Why do you keep leaving wet towels on the floor?” and “If you don’t clean your room, I’m gonna take your cell phone away”. But sometimes in the quiet of the morning, when I reminisce about those years gone by…….I thank God for so much joy. And I thank Him for the heartache too. Because He has a way of turning sorrow to joy. He alone will restore the years the locusts have eaten.
So when I see my children dressed like this and singing ancient songs in latin……..
and when I see them all dressed up and enjoying their life and their friends…..
I can’t help but be filled with joy…….that for a season……for a short time……….
they were in my trust. I pray that where I have woefully fallen short, the Lord will fill in the gaps.
and they will find their way…….and use their gifts…….to His glory.
Enjoy this short video of the chamber choir singing. Taylor and Caiti both were selected for this audition choir at their high-school for the last few years. And you’ll easily be able to find Taylor. He’s the one that can’t seem to sing without a lot of swaying. He drives his choir teacher crazy ….but I think it’s kind of adorable.

And say this prayer this morning for your own children: taken from the Lutheran prayer book:

With joy and thanksgiving we praise You out of the fullness of our grateful hearts that You have gladdened our home and life with this child. We know that this child is a gift of your bountiful hand. Grant us grace and wisdom to bring up this precious soul in the knowledge and understanding of Your word. Watch over them with your tenderest care and continued grace.

As surely as You will endow them with faith and strengthen them in spirit, so too we pray too that You will endow them with a healthy body and strengthen and preserve them according to Your good and gracious will. Grant that they may grow in favor with You and bring sunshine and joy into our hearts and homes. Keep us all in Your grace, forgiving us daily our sins and filling our souls with peace. You are our hiding place. And now to You be praise, glory and thanksgiving, for this precious gift, this day and forever, through Jesus Christ, who is the Friend of children and Savior of all. Amen.

Beam me up, Stevie……..

December 15, 2008 by Edie Wadsworth 27 Comments

My life has changed so dramatically over the past two years that it’s hardly believable that it’s the same person living in my skin.

The only way I can be absolutely sure that it is indeed me is by the fact I still charge into, say, the dining room at lightning speed with a definite purpose and plan—only to be completely unable, when I get there, to remember why I came. Thirty minutes later when I need the pewter water pitcher, I remember why it was I was charging into the dining room. Those are the moments I’m most sure that the essence of who I am is the same. Pathetic, I know. Otherwise it seems to all have changed.I no longer dress up everyday and leave the house in a whirlwind to do something ‘important’—-like treat hypertension and gout. I no longer have people to help me live my life, like a nanny (I miss you Kimmy) and a pool guy and a cleaning lady and a nurse. It’s just lil’ ole me, my children and husband, my house, and my laptop, wearing lounge pants all day and making enough homeade bread to feed the five thousand. I feel like I’m in a permanent state of ‘hunkered down’, which reminds me of the time I photographed all my children doing their best ‘hunker down’ pose. I love that phrase and I loved even better their attempts to humor me.

So, in a nutshell, I quit working, started homeschooling, became Lutheran, and started blogging.

All things that might make your average Southern neighbor look at you with the same disdain as if you had just said you were giving up coloring your hair and would soon be leaving for a Star Trek convention followed by a move to Waco Texas to live in a commune.I’ve got no lies to tell, it ain’t been easy.

People understand a real job in which you must first get dressed and then go do a pap’s smear. People do not understand a job which has no dress code, requires that you rarely leave your house, and in which your fifty favorite ‘coworkers’ live in your computer. To make matters worse, you find yourself involved in online Christmas tours and virtual cookie exchanges. Imagine my chagrin when I’m trying to explain to my friend Donia why I won’t be here for the first day or two when she comes into town because I’ll be at a blogging convention. I said it quiet like that and then had to repeat myself. Seven times. It didn’t go well. For her or me. I wrote about Donia here and she’s a truetolife-wonderful friend-tease the %$#@ out of ya for going to your Star Trek convention- kinda of a girl.

It’s moments like that when I want to call some real friend and go out for real, highly caffeinated coffee and eat a real cookies and……*talk*. And talk and talk and talk. Instead of type…and type….and type. And I would do that, except my girls and I are attached at the hip and I’ve got bread to bake and teenagers to mold into decent adults and presents to wrap——and well, a lot of typing and hunkering down to do.

This has been an exciting blogging week for me because of this and this and even if many people don’t ‘get’ it, I love my new life. I love my new ‘job’ and I love my new ‘coworkers’ and I love my favorite new hobby. So don’t worry about me yet. My hair is blonder than ever (dangerously resembling trailer trash blond) and I’m just as wowed by all the new colors at MAC as always. It’s still me in here, heavy on the eye makeup, lip gloss and feathered bangs, learning to live in the delicate balance that exists between mom-and-teacher, friend-and-lover, saint-and-sinner, and real.live.human-and-blogger.

And as always, the incredible man that I share my life with seems to ‘get’ me. Even the new/less glamorous/bookworm/computer geek/ever-so-slightly-heavier me.

And I love that about him.