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life{in}grace

live with more presence, passion, & purpose

When you wish you could take it back….

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Have you ever shared something with someone and then later regretted it—wondering what he/she/they might do with that little piece of your heart you just gave away?!?

I tend to err on the side of sharing and connection so sometimes I get a vulnerability hangover.

Like exactly one year ago when my very broken story landed in hands and Amazon carts around the country.  The story of Daddy and me and of my journey through what felt like hell at times.

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I was literally sick about it.  Mad at myself for putting my story so out there.  Wishing for all the world I could take it back.

“What if nobody really understands?  What if I lose the relationships I’ve spent so long building? What will happen when they all find out the real truth about who I am, what I’ve been through, and what I’ve done?”

Well, sister, maybe you’re saying that to yourself, even without a memoir coming out.  I actually bet you are.  I bet it’s one of your deepest fears—that you’ll be found out, that people will see through the veil and facade, that you will be rejection and unlovely.

Here’s the truth. 

The most important person, the ONE who really matters, already knows ALL OF IT. And He has already made His judgement.

And He made it against Jesus, so that He could declare you forgiven and ENOUGH and beautiful and WHOLE and FREE.

Because of the unfathomable sacrificial love of our Father, we can now stop worrying about ourselves and whether or not everyone will find out that we aren’t what we pretend to be.  We aren’t.  The end.  And that, dear heart, is SO FREEING.

You are now free to love Him with all your heart and soul and mind.  NOT so that He will love you but BECAUSE He loves you.

You are now free to share your wounded, messy heart and life with your sisters because SHE IS THE SAME AS YOU.  And if you will go first and be real and raw and vulnerable, you will set her free to do the same.

You are now free to love your neighbor as yourself because you lack nothing and the abundance that flows from your life of faith in Christ will sustain you and will nourish everyone who meets you.

YOU ARE FREE to give and love and serve, with complete and reckless abandon for the sake of seeing the grace of God born in another human heart.

Don’t hold back.

Don’t count the cost.

Tell your story with everything that is in you and God will use it to feed hungry and hurting souls.

It took me until sometime in the middle of October last year to finally realize what God was up to in my journey.

He was stripping me of everything I was hiding so that He could give me everything I was missing.

I’m so thankful for His love and care.

And I’m so thankful for yours too.

Thank you for buying the book, for sharing it, for writing me love notes, and encouraging me when I felt like I couldn’t stand.

Thank you for meeting me in this online space for nearly 10 years.

Let’s keep doing what we’re called to do with everything that is in us.

I adore and just wanted to say thank you for all the ways you’ve been His grace to me.

All my love,
edie

You can grab the book here, if you haven’t read it yet!

 

p.s.  LIVESTREAM was last week at my lifeingrace page but here’s the replay in case you missed it!

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Comments

  2. Mary Ann Davis says

    I ordered your book last night after watching your live morning mentoring yesterday for the first time. I needed this blog post so bad because this is what has been holding me back for most of my life. I have made some decisions in my life that haven’t been the best but have hidden most of them, at least the ones I could. I feel that God has told me I have much to share, and has given me the talents to do so, but oh the fear of exposing all that people don’t know about. I have sat stranded for most of my life, sitting where I am comfortable and now I am older and worry that time has passed me by. I found you a long time ago but didn’t listen or read very much. I tend to ignore things that might challenge my safe spaces, but yesterday and today I made myself watch your lives, and I have some hope that I may be able to push myself to a place where God has wanted me to go, and now this blog post. Thank you for sharing, and being you. I am grateful.

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