First let me say, I have a confession to make. I haven’t totally recovered from book writing. Otherwise known as, I’m not on my A game right now. Otherwise known as, I’m tempted to order Thanksgiving from Popeye’s.
Second, if you haven’t watched my video on bullet journaling, it will make planning events like this SO MUCH EASIER!! You can get the video here!
I’ve lost a good portion of my mojo and it’s taking its sweet time coming back.
I haven’t even started to think about the hosting Thanksgiving, despite the fact that come next Thursday, my house will be full to brim with people I love. I LOVE hosting Thanksgiving.
I’ve been doing it for nearly 20 years and it’s one of my very favorite weekends of the year. But I’m a little lost and a little scattered and emotionally spent. Two of my dear friends invited me to lunch last week and within 60 seconds of entering the room, I was in tears. I wish I could snap my fingers and snap out of it, but I can’t. I have to be patient with myself and keep showing up, even if I’m a mess when I get there.
I don’t want to cancel our Thanksgiving tradition though that wouldn’t be the worst thing. And I don’t really want to order it from Popeye’s, although Melanie’s right about how good it is. (You know, for fast food chicken and all.) I just want to make it manageable and enjoyable for me and for my peeps. So, I’m asking everybody to bring stuff. And I’m buying a few things already made. And I’m not apologizing. At least not much.
The first time I hosted Thanksgiving was the only year I was ever a single mom, the year after my Daddy died. I stayed up all night the night before, working like crazy woman, probably trying to prove to myself that I was resilient and capable and industrious. I listened to Counting Crows cranked up high, made everything homemade, followed Martha Stewart’s Thanksgiving recipes to a T, down to the homemade cranberry/apple reduction sauce. I even constructed the Mayflower as a centerpiece for the kid’s table, with indian headdresses for all the littles. Y’all. I made the Mayflower with my own two hands. I’m just sayin, I think I get extra points for that?
When my family showed up at the door, I started sobbing. Because sometimes I’m not so resilient and I’m not so strong. Sometimes I’m fragile and sad and so completely human. Sometimes even a handmade Mayflower can’t cover up what I’m hiding. I’m sure they were second guessing their decision to let me host Thanksgiving, but it’s been at my house ever since. This year feels raw for different reasons but one thing I know is this—I want my people to be here. I need them to be here. Not so I can cook the best food and set the best tables but because I know how desperately we all need each other. I am so thankful for their love, their support, the gift of their presence in my life. They love me when I’ve lost my way and when my mashed potatoes are runny and even when I stand at the front door and sob. This is what it means to take care of each other. This is the way of hospitality.
So this year will be a little different but here are my plans for the next few days so that when my people get here, we can convalesce by the fire, enjoy each other, and maybe even drag out the karaoke machine.
5 things that will make Thanksgiving weekend more enjoyable:
1. Give thanks
Don’t forget that this is the season of gratefulness. I sometimes have to stop myself in my busy tracks and say thank you. Cup your hands around the faces of your people, look them right in their eyes and say thank you. A little smooch wouldn’t hurt anything either. We take SO much for granted. Stop and pay attention. Notice the smell of the pumpkin pie, the way light glistens off your pretty wine glasses, the color of the landscape, as it makes ready for winter.
2. Make a Menu
Here’s mine, in case you want ideas. I LOVE printing my menus out and placing one at each table setting, but at least print one out for yourself and keep it in your planner/notebook.
- Turkey with Sage Stuffing (make myself)
- Chive Mashed Potatoes (make myself)
- Giblet Gravy (make myself)
- Maple Glazed Brussel Sprouts (make myself)
- Broccoli Casserole
- Baked Sweet Potato Bake
- Creamed Corn (make myself)
- Bedeviled Eggs
- Cranberry Apple Relish
- Parker House Rolls (make myself)
- Tart Cherry Pie (make myself)
- Pumpkin Pie with Brandy Cream
- Bourbon Pecan Chocolate Pie
- Chocolate Fudge Pie
- Red Velvet Cake
- Salted Caramel Lattes
3. Start NOW!
Here’s my list for how I will (hopefully) get all my food made (for 35 people) and get my house ready for weekend company. I realize not everyone hosts this many people, but this might help you see how I break down the large job into small doable pieces. And if there’s wine and fudge involved? Well, that always helps.
Friday (today!) (the week before)
- Stock up on candles (my favorite fall/winter candle but I love this one and this one, too) diffusers, Mrs. Meyer clove countertop spray,
- Bake pumpkin muffins and put in freezer (to serve for breakfast next week)
- Wash sheets on the guest room beds.
- Brainstorm on Pinterest for table top and guest room ideas
Saturday
- Make Grannie’s fudge and freeze
- Bake a quiche lorraine for next weekend and freeze
- Finish the guest room beds and bathrooms
- Bake cherry pie and freeze
- Stock up on wine and champagne, spritzer, teas, coffees
Sunday
- Big grocery shopping day (lots of baking supplies are on sale, so stock up!)
- Work on menus and place cards (I love the fox cards Emily made and you can print them for free!)
- Print out the Thanksgiving Litany (10 copies) (I’m still working on the link!)
- Outdoor scavenger hunt to find pinecones, acorns, driftwood, pretty branches, berries, etc
Monday
- Get out all the linens and sort out how the tables will be set up (all mine will be mix-match)
- Make blueberry muffins and freeze
- Make jam thumbprints and freeze
- Clean living room to good enough
- Work on name cards
- Wash all the glassware and plates (the ones not used very often)
Tuesday
- Bake pecan bourbon chocolate pie
- Brew a batch of iced coffee
- Make olive salsa and my favorite cheese ball of all time (company arrives today)
- Check on votive candles (Are there enough for each place setting? Enough tea lights?
- Clean kitchen and bedroom
- Cook potatoes and refrigerate. Finish them on Thursday
- Add greenery/finishing touches to the guest spaces
- Take out pumpkin muffins from freezer for breakfast tomorrow
- Buy 2 13-15 pound turkeys and one turkey breast (We smoke one, roast one, and then cook the breast in the crock pot)
- Refill the small salt/pepper shakers for the tables
Wednesday
- Make the Parker House Rolls. They’re SO good and well worth all the butter and effort.
- If turkeys aren’t completely thawed, put in salt water brine
- Remove the broccoli casserole from freezer to frig.
- Roast the brussel sprouts and then refrigerate until tomorrow. Finish cooking with bacon fat and then drizzle with maple syrup and cook another min or two
- Set the tables after dinner (I like to set my tables earlier, but we’ll have company and need to use them)
- Make the sage stuffing, so that it’s ready to be stuffed in the bird early in the morning
- Put turkey breast in the crockpot overnight (This is my favorite way to have some extra turkey and a LOT of turkey stock. You don’t need to do ANYTHING to it, just remove the giblets and cook on low overnight, until it falls apart, which is usually about lunch time!)
- Take out all the pies to thaw
Thursday
- Stuff the turkey, brush with butter and put in a covered roaster. Start at 300 degrees and cook for 3 hours, then decrease to 250. For a 14 pound bird, at that low temp, I usually cook it for 10 hours, until it’s tender and falling off the bone. (Stevie also smokes a turkey, but I leave that all up to him!)
- Finish the potatoes
- About lunch time, take out the appetizers and champagne spritzers as a treat for all the helpers (we don’t eat until evening)
- Delegate the drink stations and salted caramel latte prep to the young adults
- Start the Thanksgiving music (I make a playlist from my favorites—the Avett Brothers, Mumford, Sturgill Simpson, the Decemberists, Noah Gundersen, etc)
- Finish the brussel sprouts
- Don’t forget the cranberry relish
- Pray that everyone brings their dishes!
- Make the gravy from the turkey drippings
- Set out plenty of butter to soften/put on each table
- Double check the tables, fill the water glasses and light the candles
- Read the Litany aloud, pray, try not to cry, and FEAST!!
4. Enjoy the day
Things will go wrong. You’ll forget to take the pumpkin pie out of the freezer, the mash potatoes will be runny (happened to me last year), the bread will burn, and a million other things will threaten to steal your joy. DON’T let it. This is a celebration of the people that you love. Enjoy them! Make eye contact and hug and laugh. The food, the decorations, the tables are all secondary and must take a back seat. Take a deep breath, have a glass of wine, relax, and love on your people. Or let them love on you. Or both. Preferably both!
Also? Make your siblings wash the dishes. Amen.
5. Enjoy the day after
The day after may be my favorite day. Eating leftovers, sitting by the fireplace enjoying my family, beating twenty-somethings in Scrabble. I think we should reclaim Black Friday and call it I’m Staying in My Jammies and Eating Leftovers and Knitting Dishcloths Friday.
Happy Feasting!
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Hi Edie,
Thanks for the wonderful suggestions. The pre-planning tips will be helpful.
Do you know we got our turkey from Popeye’s the past two years? 🙂
This year will be no exception. Friends and family love it.
They do turkeys??????!!!!
We just got one in our town and I’m in love with the spicy goodness!!
Loved your post, Edie! Amazing to serve 35 !!! Your menu sounds wonderful and I love your work plan. Thank you for the time that took to post with all you have to do.
I am inspired to do more ahead now and thanks for the tips on freezing. I’ve never frozen a quiche before but why not. That would be helpful. I could freeze my pecan pie too.
You are absolutely right something will go wrong but that is certainly ok. We are not on Food Network! It is our family and being with them is the MOST IMPORTANT thing.
I will tell you Costco makes great pumpkin pies and I buy my dressing from a local restaurant and make no apologies. I am a lot older than you and need a little help. I enjoy setting a pretty table the most anyway rather than cooking. If you are interested my last post showed our Thanksgiving dinner last year.
Edie,
I too, host 35 (give or take a few) & used to stress out. We do the turkeys, potatoes & pies. I farm the rest out. Each sibling brings something, from appetizers to side dishes to drinks (bachelor uncle who doesn’t cook). We make the teens bond over washing dishes–or they can’t have dessert 😉 It’s so nice to have the help, so you can actually enjoy & participate in conversation with everyone.
Have a great Turkey Day!
Shar
PS I learned not to bother washing floors until the day AFTER!
Shar I love these ideas! Stealing this year. : ))
Looks like you’re gonna be one busy lady! I love hosting Thanksgiving too. It’s exhausting work but so satisfying. Yours looks like it will be wonderful!
{Kathy} I love your attitude! Go big or go home! Even when there seems like there is so much to do, it’s fun. Serving people love through cooking is my favorite.
I used to think I had to work myself into a frazzle to have the best holiday dinners, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized no one else cares if we have Martha Stewart meals. They just want to eat good food and enjoy the company. Now I’ve got it down to where I take shortcuts wherever I can without sacrificing the quality. One of the best discoveries I had is the frozen steamable potatoes. You just pop the bag in the microwave for 10 minutes then take them out and prepare using your regular mashed potato recipe. It’s true what they say, if mama’s not happy nobody’s happy. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family!
Thanks for the push!!!! 😉 I’ve been dealing with the stress of a complex ovarian cyst with an increased CA-125 number now since August. It hasn’t resolved and now I will be having surgery right before Christmas. I have been in such a funk………..seriously silly I know. There is so much to be thankful for even if things don’t turn out the way I am hoping. I need to do the dinner for my family ~ hey, I actually bought my turkey today. Happy Thanksgiving!!!
I would love to see this Mayflower! Please tell me you took a picture.
Popeyes, oh my. We used to have one here, but no more. My husband flies a lot and sometimes on his way home thru ATL he will grab me a biscuit. So if you’re having Popeyes, I may drive over the mountain and find you. Mmmmm. 😉
And thanksgiving should be pot luck! The first one was, or so I’ve been told.
Edie this is so great, thank you for these words and for the trip down blog memory lane with so many various photos… Even from your turquoise kitchen, I remember that banner! : )) How fun. I will be rereading this for little attitude adjustments this coming week, as needed.
As for the crying among loved ones, how disarming. How lovely. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! xoxo
Love this post. I am a long time follower. Can you tell me where the beautiful Ram Dass watercolor quote is from? Thank you and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
i just teared up a little…
i sure love you
AND
your thanksgiving table is my favorite!!
your people are so blessed
xo
I love your pre-Thanksgiving post each year. I plan my week the same way (although I’m only hosting 11 and none will be here overnight). I love having my people here! xo
Thank you Edie! I so enjoyed this post. I wrote a book this year too, and I can relate. I vote for stay in your jammies and play games day. Thanks to Marie at Lazy W for introducing me to your blog.~~Dee
Beautiful post, Edie. It sounds like a lovely Thanksgiving. This is the first year since all of us cousins were married that we’re getting together for Thanksgiving–we now have four kids between us, the oldest just turned 11. My parents are hosting, but since my mom has cancer and gets tired easily I’ll be doing all be doing a lot of the work. My girls (9 and 6) can’t wait to help clean the house for their Gammy. The prospect of a Thanksgiving with 15 of us is so exciting for the kids. We’ll start all our cooking on Monday–we can’t wait!
BTW, I’m right there with you about the jammies and games–I do not venture out all weekend.
Thanks for this, Edie! I’m pausing in between checking things off my to-do list to tell you how much I appreciate it! My husband and I are having my entire family (12 more people) to add to our 3 in our home for 5 days over Thanksgiving. Due to a family that is all in church work, we haven’t spent Thanksgiving together since 2001. I am very thankful for the opportunity to spend Thanksgiving together again! Now, back to baking and cleaning in preparation! A blessed Thanksgiving to you and your family!
Edie,
You are an incredible inspiration to me!!! I appreciate your honesty and transparency as you share your life with us. Reading this post makes me want to be a better person. . .not that I’m not already. . .but I’ve been in a terrible “funk” and this was just the kick I needed!!! Thank you, too, for taking the time to write out your menu, your timetable, everything. It’s a great jump-start for me as I prepare to be PRESENT and ENGAGED this holiday season!!! All the best to you. . .
GREAT tips! I also host Thanksgiving for my family every year, and your tips are right on point. You are certainly the hostess with the mostess 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
Martha, Martha, you are troubled by many things! 🙂 Seriously, friend, if you are shopping and planning a week in advance, you are probably in danger of putting way too much time and energy and expense into a meal that gets eaten in about thirty minutes. Your guests may not want to tell you this, but they feel as if they are putting you out, and they are…because you are not letting them help enough. Offer to make your best three things, and then assign everyone to bring their best dishes to share. I am only saying this because I’ve been there and done that. No more. My husband (and sometimes our guests) works in retail…on Thanksgiving day now. He eats, and dresses, and leaves. And I am left with five sinkfuls of dishes and two runs through the dishwasher. I added it up, and realized I’d spent over $300 on a meal that got consumed in half an hour. This year, I ordered my meal from Bob Evans for $79.95. I will get to make it to the Thanksgiving Eve church service the night before because I won’t be so stressed and over-loaded with work. I will get to use the leftover money to sponsor the Christmas Tree children’s ministry and the food bank. And I will get to relax and enjoy the meal with my family, and then put on my pajamas and watch movies with my boys for the rest of the evening. I am taking Proverbs 17:1 to heart: Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife. I used to live close to family, and all the women would share in the duties with the big meal. It was fun! But now that we are not celebrating with our big extended families, I’ve had to compromise and make some changes for the better. Hope you can find some time to rest and give thanks during this crazy busy season! Blessings!
I am adding some Brandy Cream to my “getting ready” routine. lol
This year we are having new friends that we just met, but are now moving to Texas for three years….and our Trader Joe’s has a wine tasting and while there I met a charming woman that is helping an out of town friend and didn’t have anywhere to go….”Well you are welcome to come to my house….” I only know her first name and phone number.
Turns out though she is also a Christian which I found out after the fact. Isn’t God good that way.
Have a Happy and Marvelous Thanksgiving with your people. It’s all about the People anyway! Well and now the brandy cream.
Ginger
Edie, I am so thankful for you today! This week my husband and both girls have come down with the flu. We had to cancel our Thanksgiving plans with family. I remembered this post, specifically how you talked about cooking a turkey breast in a crock pot. I figured I could at least manage that. I woke up this morning to the smell of Thanksgiving! Not to mention, the meat is falling apart! I definitely couldn’t have managed otherwise. I did add carrots, onions, celery, and herbs to the pot. I will do this again!
I also would love to know where I could find the Ram Dass watercolor quote. It is perfect for Thanksgiving or any time for that matter.
Hi, love your thanksgiving menu. Will you please post more of your recipes? Stuffing / chocolate fudge pie. Thank you
Such a great post! We are hosting 25 people for Thanksgiving. I had ankle surgery last Thursday… Thanksgiving is next Thursday. Whew. I did what I could before Thursday and my dad brought me to get the turkey yesterday… the cleaning lady is coming on Monday (best part of the surgery)… the rest is up to the guests :). No one minds pitching in they are so glad to see one another that all of the details really don’t matter. At the end of the day it is 100% with it to see my Kids creating bonds with their extended family. Heck, my bonds with my extended family are part of the reason for this great, crazy day and weekend. Honestly my favorite weekend of the year, especially when I’m not on crutches.
There’s nothing that I don’t love about this post! It’s exhaustively complete but full of personality. Also, may I come to your house for Thanksgiving?
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
~Jenny
http://www.introvertsguidetosobriety.com