I got an email this weekend that brought me to my knees.
A woman whose life looks perfect to everyone around her but is burning to the ground as she watches in disbelief. And it doesn’t look like help is coming. It doesn’t appear to be one of the stories with a tidy, happy ending. I read stories like hers in my inbox every week. Sometimes, the story is mine. This is where we are. This is the truth about us all, at one time or another in our lives. I’ve been there more times than I can count.
When our literal house burned to the ground, there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. The firefighters came and worked in the freezing cold as hard as they could to no avail. Sometimes things just burn. But as I sat on the frozen ground and watched flames reach up toward the night sky, I noticed the blanket that my neighbor had wrapped around me, the warm cup of coffee someone brought, the arms of my family, that comforted me when even words were too painful. For a few hours, no one even worried about the whats and the whys. They just showed up and sat with us and brought us the comfort of not being alone.
It was less than a week before someone emailed me this, “I’m just curious, do you know why your house caught on fire?” This was all the email said and from a perfect stranger. And I would have been hurt or angry but for the fact that I’ve done it myself a thousand times. Forgetting that my job in the world is not the collect the facts of everyone’s life and see whether or not they got what was coming to them.
I realize that we often do this out of genuine curiosity, but when folks are hurting, they just need our love. I’m learning it every so slowly. Thankfully, this weekend, I was able to respond with some words that I hope brought comfort to a hurting soul. I had enough time to react in the right way. I turned in my journal to the coffee stained verses I had written in on the front page this year—to help remind me why I’m here.
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.
But often I act like the Spirit of God has anointed me bring judgement and condemnation, to get to the bottom of things, to find out what this person must have done to deserve these particular circumstances. And that’s if I bother to show up in their lives at all.
It made me wonder how it would have all been different if I had passed her on the street instead of in my inbox.
Would I have been approachable enough for her to share her story? Would I have looked too busy to be bothered—nose in my iPhone, head in my to-do list? Would I have been aware enough to notice how ravaged her heart was? Would I have really cared?
I’m glad I got the wake up call in an email. The siren to remind me that we are all everywhere hurting and hanging on by a worn thread, no matter how much we like to pretend we have it all together.
I pray we never stop knowing the wounds and griefs of others. I pray we continue to trustworthy to hear their stories—because once you know the heartache, once you see the pain, once you see how it’s all on fire—you can’t help but remember the reason you’re here. You’re a first responder, until the real help of Christ’s life and forgiveness can take hold. You’re been called to bind up the brokenhearted, just like your Father bound up your wounded heart. You’re here to comfort those who mourn, just like you’re still being comforted everyday with his mercy and forgiveness. You’re not here to ask questions about all the causes of this collapse. You’re here to build up the ancient ruins and raise up the former devastations.
You’re here on behalf your Father, who so graciously loves and cares for you—to bring a cup of water, a warm blanket, a word of grace. You’re here to love—to see your sister’s magic and to remind her of it when she has forgotten. And if all else fails, to just sit with her and watch it burn. And remind her that death is swallowed up in victory and the ruined cities will be raised.
Father, give us your Spirit, grant us your healing, fill us with your love, and if need be, burn it all to the ground. Amen.
*************************
My memoir, All the Pretty Things, is the story of how my life burned down around me and how I sometimes set fire to it myself. It is also the story of God’s beautiful redemption in the worst of circumstances. It will release on September 20th but is now available for preorder here. All who preorder will receive a digital copy of the book in the middle of August, so save your receipt.
elizabeth says
this is the message i needed to hear this morning. my first responder approach needs to remember this. thank you.
Edie Wadsworth says
Bless you, friend.
Dawn says
Thank you for writing this Edie. You probably have no idea how much I needed to read these words this morning. I am a member of a well known church that has been in the news a lot lately. It certainly seems to be on fire, burning down all around me, and it’s heartbreaking. There has been lots of public speculation about why it’s burning down, but it doesn’t help those of us who are so close to the situation, who are hurting and losing so much. It’s comforting to read your words, and I’m encouraged to just be there for my fellow church members, through the fire, even if it all burns down.
Edie Wadsworth says
The Lord bless you and keep you, Dawn.
Praying with and for you and your church.
God’s peace to you.
xoxo
chrissy says
Let’s pray……..weez (nickname)
Edie Wadsworth says
Praying, Chrissy.
Love that nickname.
🙂
Cindy Hancock says
Oh Edie, With many tears I am reading this…I pray God will send help to my family. I can’t bear to see it burn down. How long can we (in my family) as all “professing” Christians continue to pretend like “it’s all just ok”, knowing that the chasm is growing ever larger and God is not please with us? I cling to the verse where God says, He is near to the brokenhearted. I plead with God every day to restore what is broken here and heal the many wounds we have. He gives us his model of forgiveness, by what he did on the cross for us…bearing all our sin and dying for us, to be victorious over death, hell and the grave! Why is our memory so short?
I am so very thankful for your heart and compassion for the hurting.
Please pray for our family. Blessings~ Cindy
Patty Marker says
I don’t know you personally Cindy but I do know your story because it is my story as well. I will pray for your family to find unity and peace at the only true source for it. It is not okay for us all to put our smiles on Sunday morning and not notice the smoldering fires all around us. Praying for you brave lady. – Patty
Edie Wadsworth says
Oh, you bless me Patty.
xoxo
Cindy Hancock says
Thank you, Patty Marker. I’m so sorry we share the same story but I will pray for your family as well. ~Cindy
Edie Wadsworth says
He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
Bless you, sweet Cindy.
Praying with you.
xoxo
Cindy Hancock says
Thank you, Patty Marker. I’m so sorry we share the same story but I will pray for your family as well. ~Cindy
Thank you, Edie! Grateful for His promises!
shelby says
Edie,
Wonderful words, a reminder to me today to remain interruptible and FAT, faithful, available, teachable. The Lord is always teaching me more about His nature the more I stay faithful and available. The joy for me is finding His whisper in the midst of chaos and having His grace to respond:)
Grace to you girl, keep with the words, they are a blessing;)
Edie Wadsworth says
Such sweet encouragement.
Thank you, friend.
xoxo
Jenn A says
Mr. and Mrs. Glenn
Edie Wadsworth says
We join you, Jenn.
Bless you.
xoxo
Kristie says
Thank you for your inspiring words Edie! You always seem to touch my heart. If you could pray for my family (Kristie and Ned) , I would so appreciate it. xo
Edie Wadsworth says
Yes, would be honored.
Much love.
xoxo
Kay Deever says
God burned it all to the ground around me earlier this summer because my values had become corrupted and I was not listening. I was seeking the wrong things and listening to the wrong people. I lost everything and God then performed a miracle only He can. He immediately provided me with everything that I DID need! His eye truly is on the sparrow! His grace and mercy astound me every day and now I am working to be a worthy first responder for others who have lost everything! Thank you for today’s post – it was a glorious reminder of the work He is doing in me right now! Blessings on this beautiful Monday!
Patty Marker says
Amen!
Edie Wadsworth says
What a Savior!
Bless you, Kay.
🙂
Jerralea says
Beautiful, Edie. I love the idea of being a first responder!
I know God has called me to be an encourager, yet it is so easy to be wrapped up in my own world and not even notice when someone else’s world is on fire … God help me!
Please pray for Daniel who is facing one of the most important tests of his life.
Edie Wadsworth says
Praying for Daniel.
Thank you so much.
xoxo
Melissa says
Please pray for the Perkins family. They lost their dad/husband to suicide. So many are judging or placing shame on him and his family because of the nature of his death. His wife and two young sons need powerful prayer to help them at this time, not judgment. Please remember them!
Edie Wadsworth says
We join you, Melissa.
Christ, have mercy.
xoxo
tara says
Suicide is such an awful thing. Lifting this family in prayer. Praying for a peace that only God can give and for a strong support system to see them through this time.
Lauren says
Hi Edie,
Such beautiful words – and so prescient given the chaos that seems to be engulfing me and my family. Addiction, financial stress, death, illness. My people. We are all in need of prayers. It’s hard for me to ask anyone to pray for me when I am usually the one trying to save the day, but I feel safe and comforted in this space. So I’m asking…
Thank you.
Edie Wadsworth says
Sending you this prayer from the Lutheran prayer book, one I read often.
Praying for you this week, friend.
xoxo
Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.
Merciful Father, You know how difficult these days are for me. In Your holy Word, You have promised to hear those who cry unto You in the day of trouble. Listen to my cries for mercy and send help from the sanctuary of Your grace.
Preserve me from bitterness of spirit, and rescue me from every temptation to despair. Calm my frustrations with the knowledge that my life is secure in Your redeeming love, for I am baptized into the death and resurrection of Your Son. Draw me out of self centered worry, which stifles faith, and cause me to take comfort in the Gospel. Sustain and strengthen me under every cross and affliction, that Your grace might be made perfect in my weakness.
Give me confidence to pray without losing heart and to trust in Your mighty deliverance according to Your good and gracious will.
Father, into Your hands I commend myself. Hear me, for the sake of Your Son, who alone is my Brother and Savior.
Amen.
Kristie says
Praying for you Lauren! I feel the same about the space Edie has created here. Difficult to ask people to pray for you when the problems are so personal. Thank you for the Lutheran prayer Edie! This post was so needed today and there certainly is power in prayer.
Lauren says
Just now sitting down to reply. Thank you, Edie. I ugly cried when I read this prayer. Knowing that I’m being prayed for is an amazing feeling.
xo
Lauren says
And Kristie – thank you!
Dawn Beaver says
Oh how i love this prayer.
Julie in Michigan says
My brother John, who was found after missing for 56 days. My God keep him on the right path after what our family has been through worrying and wondering if we’d ever see him again.
Thanks to all.
Edie Wadsworth says
What a blessing, Julie.
Praying with you for John.
xoxo
Kimber says
Thanks for this… just what I needed to hear.
Please pray for my 23 year old niece Dana who is lost, but seeking. She’s in a fragile state right now as she’s just left home to start a work program in a big city, and just found out her 31 year old cousin unexpectedly and suddenly died {brain aneurysm}. Pray that the Lord reveals himself through this situation and the new friends in this work community {Habitat} will be spirit-filled oases for her soul.
Edie Wadsworth says
Yes, joining you in praying, Kimber.
Thank you.
xoxo
Allison says
Love this Edie and am praying over each of these names. Thank you
Edie Wadsworth says
Bless you. Just added your sweet name to my list.
xoxo
Betsy says
Edie,
I met a cashier at the Wal-Mart late Saturday night on a yogurt run. She was smiling, but I could see worn by weight of world. She shared that she was rapture ready, a term I wasn’t familiar with. Asked me to pray for her a new job. She’s got nine mouths to feed at home and desires a job in the medical field as a tech. I told her I would pray and check on her in the months to come.
I left thinking of her with a smile in my heart. That took courage to share and ask a stranger to pray.
As I sat in mass yesterday, I prayed for her and her loved ones. I thanked God for opening my eyes and my mouth. To see and seek.
You never, ever know how something so small can effect someone so greatly.
Please, pray for her also? Sharon Williams is her name.
Bless you, you are such a gem. Can’t wait for your book and more podcasts.
Betsy
XO
Edie Wadsworth says
Bless you, Betsy and thank you for sharing.
Yes, praying for Sharon. And you too, friend.
xoxo
Sandy says
Beautifully said, Edie! We are created and put on the earth to be a blessing to others! Thank you for the reminder.
Gina says
This is good Edie….really good!! 🙂
Francy says
I second that!!! This leaves me speechless and grateful. You have definitely found you calling.
Edie Wadsworth says
What sweet encouragement.
xoxo
Edie Wadsworth says
thank you, love.
xoxo
Betty says
Thank you Edie. Praying this prayer for my daughter Mary, who is facing a situation tomorrow that is bringing our family to it’s knees.
Edie Wadsworth says
Joining you, Betty, in prayer for Mary.
xoxo
Mel says
So beautiful, Edie. Please pray for I who is stricken with terrible disease due to missions work, for A that she might see God’s hand at work in her sick family member and be led back to a relationship with Him, for my husband’s heart as he works through his relationship with God. I really feel like my world is burning all around me, and resting in His peace that surpasses all understanding is the only way I’m getting through the flames. xox
Edie Wadsworth says
Praying with you, Mel. And a special prayer for you too. For those away from the faith—
Gracious God and Father, we implore You to turn the hearts of all who have forsaken the faith once delivered to Your Church, especially those who have wandered from it or are in doubt through the corruption of Your truth. Mercifully visit and restore them in gladness of heart that they may take pleasure in Your word and be made wise to salvation through faith in Your son, Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. (Lutheran Service Book)
Janette says
My “house” burned to the ground 2 1/2 years ago when I became disabled, lost my job because of the disability, and my husband was diagnosed with esophageal cancer all in the same month. I have gone through the stages where I felt that my life has been taken from me, by circumstances that are totally out of my control, and all I could do was watch it “burn”. But I have never felt that Christ has abandoned me. That is the one certainty that I know, the one non-changing thing in my life. My family has been Mo. Synod Lutheran for a long time. I credit my ability to work through all this to the Grace of God, Who sustains me and lifts me up daily, sometimes minute by minute. I’m not saying that I don’t have times that I feel the roof is falling in on me, but just that I know the SKY is not falling. Prayers for me and my Hubby, Reese, would be much appreciated. He is now looking forward to recovery after his last biopsies were negative for cancer. I am trying to regain as much strength and flexibility possible to control pain so I can work some. Thank you for prayers!
Edie Wadsworth says
Oh, Janette, what hardship and pain. We join you, friend. This prayer has gotten me through so many hard times. Sending you love.
xoxo
Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.
Merciful Father, You know how difficult these days are for me. In Your holy Word, You have promised to hear those who cry unto You in the day of trouble. Listen to my cries for mercy and send help from the sanctuary of Your grace.
Preserve me from bitterness of spirit, and rescue me from every temptation to despair. Calm my frustrations with the knowledge that my life is secure in Your redeeming love, for I am baptized into the death and resurrection of Your Son. Draw me out of self centered worry, which stifles faith, and cause me to take comfort in the Gospel. Sustain and strengthen me under every cross and affliction, that Your grace might be made perfect in my weakness.
Give me confidence to pray without losing heart and to trust in Your mighty deliverance according to Your good and gracious will.
Father, into Your hands I commend myself. Hear me, for the sake of Your Son, who alone is my Brother and Savior.
Amen.
Christina says
I need to make it known to a community of women that I need prayer for my marriage. I have a great husband who loves me that I’ve been married to for over twenty years. I married quite young (20), and I feel so much that we cannot have a strong and deep relationship. I want to be a godly woman and be able to see the big picture, it’s just very hard right now. Thank you for taking the time to read this and to pray. I just want to grow as a strong woman and be a blessing to others, not to feel pitiful for myself.
Edie Wadsworth says
Bless you, Christina and thank you so much for sharing. Bless you for your humility. This relationship is so sacred, though for most of us, most days, it’s just plain hard. God is doing a special work here and I pray for you in this struggle. Try focusing outward, on how your marriage can be a blessing to others, instead of inward. We all struggle here, know that. Sending you love, friend.
Most gracious God, we give thanks for the joy and blessings that you grant to husbands and wives. Assist them always by Your grace that with true fidelity and steadfast love they may honor and keep their marriage vows, grow in love toward You and for each other, and come at last to the eternal joys that You have promised; through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
Devonna says
Please pray for my husband and I. Our home was struck by lightning in May and caught fire. Our family of six made it out safely. We had to tear everything out of the home except studs and the brick. The process has been overwhelming and time consuming.
Edie Wadsworth says
Oh, Devonna, we give our love and sympathy and join you in prayer.
Almighty God, Merciful Father, Your thoughts are not our thoughts, Your ways not our ways. As we face this disaster, we implore You, let not our hearts despair nor our faith fail us, but sustain and comfort us as only You can. Attend to us, console us, protect us. Bring hope and healing that we may find relief and restoration, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. (adapted Lutheran prayer book)
Annette says
Thank you so much for your post today!!! Your words touched my heart and opened my eyes! I am very concerned about my daughter & family. Her husband can’t seem to keep a job and she is in a position that doesn’t pay very well. The kids are right at “that” age, 13 & 15, where it seems everything costs money. More important than all of this my daughter, who used to be so close to the Lord, has pulled away from most things spiritual. I don’t know if they are even attending worship anywhere right now. She was raised Lutheran & I just shared the prayer you wrote in one of your replies with her……and have prayed it for her and for myself. The “eye opener” is that I need to be more careful when asking “how things are”!! From now on I am going to be looking for ways to be a “first responder” and not ask questions that may be making her feel uncomfortable!
Edie Wadsworth says
We join you, Annette.
Lord, we implore you to turn the hearts of us all toward Your truth. Mercifully restore us the gladness of heart that comes from faithfully hearing your Word and receiving your Supper. Make us wise to salvation, through Jesus Christ, Your Son, our Lord. Amen. (adapted Lutheran prayer book)
Trudy K says
We are first responders! This is a beautiful analogy Edie, and oh so true. I am very thankful for God in His mercy. I have seen fires and I have been the fire. May God bless Cindy and all who have shared their hearts here today. And God bless you Edie for caring to share this and so much more.
Edie Wadsworth says
Mwahhhh!
Celeste says
Your post is so very timely! Friends of ours (the Browns) are “walking through the fire” as they lost their 17 month old today to leukemia and within just a few days of his diagnosis. We are at a huge loss for words to say to them but my prayers for them keep flowing to the Father. I am so thankful that live their lives devoted to Jesus and because of Him we have the hope of seeing baby Xander again in paradise!
Edie Wadsworth says
Oh, such heartbreak. Will join in praying, Celeste.
from the book of Common prayer:
Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all comfort: Deal graciously, we pray thee, with all those who mourn, that casting every care on thee, they may know the consolation of thy love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Marla Tognoli says
Edie, your words….. just what I needed to read. I spent the day in my first Graduate Class, overwhelmed and inadequate; thinking and crying: “Lord, what do you want from me? What am I doing in this program?”. I drove home deciding to call it quits. Your words, and His word remind me what I am doing. Thank you for being a voice for Him through this blog. Pray that I will be able to clearly see His will and know what direction to continue. (I am starting my education late in life after spending 19 years raising a family so this is very different and at times terrifying.)Thank you for sharing your heart.
Edie Wadsworth says
So glad you’re with us today, Marla. We will pray.
Proud of you. xoxo
Lord God, Almighty, even as You bless Your servants with various and unique gifts of the Holy Spirit, continue to grant us the grace to use them always to Your honor and glory; through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
Valarie N says
Please pray for my best childhood friend Cherry Lynn. She has been preparing herself to let go of her dear daddy. . He has exhausted all avenues as far as his health is concerned and they both know the end is near. She lives in NY and I now live in TX yet have remained connected as we are real true friends. I just wish I could no more to comfort her, she calls me when she needs to talk and to just cry. She is in a constant tug of war with her heart and her head. I continue to pray for her and her daddy and I wish the two of them great peace during this heart wrenching time.
Edie Wadsworth says
Oh, Valarie, I will join you in prayer.
I have so been there, such hard days.
His grace is sufficient.
Much love.
Karrie says
Please pray for Betsy Jean.
Edie Wadsworth says
Joining with you, Karrie.
xoxo
Megan says
I loved what you had to say. Sometimes being a “first responder” can be overwhelming but by remembering who we are doing it for and our real purpose makes it so much easier. Thank you for your words and wisdom
Edie Wadsworth says
Sending you love, Megan.
xoxo
jennybc says
beautiful words. i need to remember more to be concerned about the state of those around me and their hearts and minds and not worry about the details of how. i can be a warm blanket or the scratchy sand paper.
k says
i have prayed for each of you. and as i read, could think of someone in my life who has a similar story…. i know that the Lord is glorified through these prayers, this outpouring of grace and mercy. amen to this post.
Edie Wadsworth says
Much love and bless you!
Lori says
Please join me in praying for some of my high school students who are tugging extra-hard on my heart——- Katie, Kane, Mason, Ashley, Alex, Riley.
Edie Wadsworth says
Awww, yes, we will.
Bless you as you teach and lead.
Hugs!
Diane says
As the wife of a displaced pastor, your prayers for my husband to be blessed with a new ministry position would mean so much. <3
Edie Wadsworth says
Praying with you, Diane.
xoxo
Julia says
Edie, I think I would like to first share how hauntingly beautiful that song is- I watched the entire video-
The source for your quote? No, however, it does remind me of the quote by Donna Roberts, A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
Edie, please pray for my husband, John. God, in his infinite wisdom knows exactly what he needs. And for me also. I have read each post & prayed for everyone here.
And for you also, Edie- Thank you- I always appreciate what you write. God connected me to you. I hear you loud & clear. I know how much He loves me 🙂
In Love & Service- Julia
Edie Wadsworth says
Bless you sweet friend, and praying for both you and John.
You are such an encouragement. So thankful for you.
xoxo
B...... says
In defense of the person who asked if you knew why your house burned…… couldn’t it be possible that she only wanted to know the source of the fire? I wondered that from the beginning but believe you said that it was still a mystery and I accept that.
A first responder …. I like that term.
Great post…. but an even greater service……….b
Edie Wadsworth says
Yes, and maybe I didn’t write that part very well. When I re-read it, it didn’t sound very gracious of me. Those were the only words in the email, which is what made it seem strange. But, yes, everyone was curious, especially us. It was a lesson for me to remember to care first and then be curious.
🙂
Joanne says
Edie,
Thank you for your blog, I always find it comforting and inspiring. If you would keep my daughter Caroline in your prayers. She is 16 and is battling a rare disease called PVNS. She just completed a month of daily radiation and is really down. I feel so bad for her, high school is tough enough when you are healthy, she is a strong girl but this is tough.
God bless,
Joanne
Tessa says
This post took me to church this morning, and I absolutely needed it. I need to confess that I also was one of those people who wondered how your fire started, and even looked online to see if I could find a newspaper article about it! I kept thinking that it would help to know so that I could hopefully prevent the same thing from happening to me. Obviously the control part of me just took over. As we all know, we can be diligent and careful, but in the end … God is in control. I learned that when my amazing husband became a person I didn’t know and left me for 3-1/2 years. There was not a whole lot I could do about it, and just had to sit around and watch our marriage burn. He was dealing with a lot of “stuff” and thankfully my waiting was honored and our marriage was redeemed. He returned to me 9 years ago, and we have had 3 more children since. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I hadn’t waited for the fire to burn, and just moved on. God is with us in the fire! Now my marriage is a constant reminder of what God does when we wait for Him instead of taking matters into our own hands.
Lisa says
Sweetie, you are such a blessing. Always managing to write and say what I need to hear. As I scrolled through the comments, the prayers flowed. You know my personal prayers, but I needed to be reminded to share the comfort and peace I have been given by our heavenly Father. Too often the focus is inward. Time to refocus. Thank you.
Jill Shelby says
Good stuff. God is speaking the message to me over and over. My brother has recently married in the gay lifestyle and the responses I mostly have received from fellow believers has been less than encouraging. It seems at times we almost relish when others are suffering loss. So sad and so wrong. Let us respond well.
Edie Wadsworth says
Bless you, Jill.
Lifting you and your family in prayer.
Much love.
xoxo
Betsy says
Please pray for my precious friend Leslie — for peace and comfort for her as she faces her Mother being in hospice care. Leslie’s Mother doesn’t know the Lord and doesn’t even want to discuss it and it’s breaking Leslie’s heart. Please pray for the salvation of this poor woman and for peace and comfort for her daughters Leslie and Lindsey.
Blessings to you !!
Cindy says
Please pray that the unexplained numbness in both of my hands will go away or will not be due to anything serious. Husband & daughter are both type 1 diabetics & mother-in-law is battling pancreatic cancer with multiple complications. Don’t have time for Mama to have medical problems right now!!! Thankyou for your perspective Edie. I have been encouraged.
Ellen says
I’m not surprised that you chose the healing profession, Edie. Your words truly bring healing to wounded souls. How amazing it is to see that God restores and rebuilds the broken heart and the broken life.
Pat says
Edie, you are indeed a healer. Thank you so much for this post and for being so gracious as to accept prayer requests from all of us. I would like to request prayer for me and my family. We lost my almost 16 yr old granddaughter 6/21/13 in a freak auto accident. It has been the worst experience thus far in my life and I’ve had lots of losses. She was my son’s daughter and he also has a son 2 yrs older. I would never diminish the pain that he and his wife have suffered, however, she now considers the rest of the family “dead” ~ we do not exist. I’ve only seen them once since Abby’s service. Ran into them in a grocery store and she started raging at me. My son did nothing but try to get her to move on. It was horrible! She is bi-polar and will not take meds.
I’ve also been in contact with a male friend I went through school with. His wife passed away 5 years ago and, even though he now lives 1200 miles away, the relationship had grown. He just advised me a few days ago that he had met someone. I was so hurt and disappointed and didn’t stay on the phone. No other contact since. I haven’t made good choices with men in my life and not sure why to be honest.
One more request ~ for my kid’s step-mom. She was recently diagnosed with cancer and advised to get her affairs in order. She has been incredibly wonderful all these years to my kids and this is very difficult. I know God is in control…and I pray daily for everyone ~ for peace, strength and unity again.
I do apologize for such a lengthy post but my heart is hurting. I will pray for the other precious souls here too. Thank you and God bless!
xo
Pat
Edie Wadsworth says
We mourn with you, Pat. Such sorrows to bear.
We pray with you—
Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.
Merciful Father, You know how difficult these days are for me. In Your holy Word, You have promised to hear those who cry unto You in the day of trouble. Listen to my cries for mercy and send help from the sanctuary of Your grace.
Preserve me from bitterness of spirit, and rescue me from every temptation to despair. Calm my frustrations with the knowledge that my life is secure in Your redeeming love, for I am baptized into the death and resurrection of Your Son. Draw me out of self centered worry, which stifles faith, and cause me to take comfort in the Gospel. Sustain and strengthen me under every cross and affliction, that Your grace might be made perfect in my weakness.
Give me confidence to pray without losing heart and to trust in Your mighty deliverance according to Your good and gracious will.
Father, into Your hands I commend myself. Hear me, for the sake of Your Son, who alone is my Brother and Savior.
Amen.
Pat says
Thank you so much! I’m copying this prayer and some others to keep in front of me. I so appreciate this.
xo
Pat
Kristen says
Thank you so much for this message and for your offer of prayer. It feels selfish to do so, but I am asking for prayers for myself. I’ve been having trouble with chronic vestibular migraines (the main problem is extreme vertigo and ringing in the ears/seeing flashes with or without an actual headache) and have had to give up so much in life over the past 6 months. I haven’t been able to drive, work (thankfully, I’m self-employed) or make it to my weekly Yoga classes which has caused my Rheumatoid Arthritis to flare up. I’m only 34 and feel like an old lady (not that there is anything wrong with old ladies, I’m just not one yet!) and I’m even embarrassed to tell people what is going on with me because I don’t want to be seen as one of “those people” and so I’ve just sort of been a hermit and shut myself off from my friends. I feel like my soul’s house has burned to the ground and I just don’t have the energy or resources to rebuild it. All I want to do is be well enough to share my gifts with others. I thank you so very much for your prayers and for your vulnerability in sharing this story which has allowed me to be vulnerable and ask for help. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Edie Wadsworth says
We join with you, Kristen—
Almighty and most merciful God, in this earthly life we endure sufferings and pain. Grant us grace at all times to subject ourselves to Your holy will and to continue steadfast in the true faith so that we may know the peace and joy of the blessed hope of Your resurrection. If it please You, restore health to your servant and give her grace to accept this tribulation with courage and hope, through Christ, our Lord. Amen. (adapted LSB)
Megan says
Hi Edie, I love reading your blog about faith and life. Please pray for my family and me this week as my husband works in India and I care for our 4 little kiddos by myself. And for peace and help at my dr visit Friday.
Edie Wadsworth says
Bless you, Megan, as you care for your littles.
We pray with you—
Ever-present Lord, You have promised never to leave us or forsake us but to abide with us always. Grant those who are lonely the comfort of Your promises and bring them neighbors to help in times of need. Take into your care those whose hearts are heavy. Sustain them with your comforting love; through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. (adapted Lutheran Service Book)
JessemynPekari says
Thank you for offering to pray for us. I need prayer for healing. My daughters and I were hit by a propane truck this spring in a horrific car crash. Thankfully, my daughters have now healed. However, I haven’t. Previously, we had been homeschooling….and loving it. Now, I can’t read or write without pain and my thinking is still slowed. Because of this….and the nearly constant headaches, we enrolled our kids in school this year. Would you please pray that this heals??? We had begun paperwork to adopt a child this winter and I so want to be myself again so that I can care for my family and this new little one!
laurie says
thank you for your prayers. my husband just finished treatment for cancer to find out he has Parkinsons. we have a special needs daughter who i care for full time. i don’t want to fear the future, but i do wonder, ‘ how will i take care of them?’ i know Jesus will never leave us or forsake us… please pray that my faith would increase; that this suffering would draw me (us) closer to Jesus. thanks Edie.
Penny says
Thank you from a long-time, but never commenting, reader. I ask that all who are willing to please pray for my dear stepfather, Floyd, who is so very much more than that to me who is currently battling esophogeal cancer. While I know His will be done…I am selfishly asking for earthly healing and more time with him…for me, my mom, my kids. xo
chris says
i have followed along your journey for awhile now, but have always been to bashful to write-learning to step out of my comfort zone some! this post hit home. my husband was diagnosed with an illness five years ago that will eventually take his life. a dear friend came over shortly after we were given the news with tears, hugs & chocolate. we sat for a few hours in the middle of my grief. no questions just a head nod and lots of “i am so sorry” and “sure, yes”. i will always remember her warmth & caring and not attempting to fix it, question it or pray it all away. thanks for putting words to her actions.
and i am hoping in cools in southern california so i can make your chipolte pumpkin very soon!
it’s a hit around our home. and yes, you could pray for our sweet family as our children lose a dad & me a dear husband.
Debra says
I would appreciate prayers for me and my whole household. Thank you in advance, because I know they will come.
tara says
“Sometimes things just burn.”
And when they do, our hope is in Him.
This is a daily prayer for me…sometimes a thousand prayers in a day….I am without peace until I rest in Him.
xo
Desiree says
Listen to Take Me To Church by Hozier beautiful song saving me lately
Beverly says
I can so relate! I feel like I’m all alone in raising our kids to believe as Christians, be interested in a relationship with God, do school work, etc. While my husband is detached from us. Please pray for my husband, John, to find the way, the truth, and the life and to want a personal relationship with Him. He believes, he just doesn’t live it. Thank you Edie, for this. Us women have to stand strong for each other.
Shawna Ford says
Thank you for these words. I needed to read them and (how funny that I’m “late” reading it) today.
Andrea Mackey says
I needed to read these words very much this morning. I have four children and a wonderful husband. My oldest son has autism. Our family and personal life is challenging, but we are blessed. We live in a very rural area and there is darkness everywhere. The little children are suffering and my heart breaks every day for them! I drive around with a full van every Sunday, driving them back and forth to church and church related activities, trying to provide some relief from their tough lives and some love and consistency, but the void is so big! I have a new friend who is 26 with three kids 6 and under and pregnant with twins who just left an abusive relationship. Your post reminded me how important it is to love her and her babies and not make judgements about how bad decisions have led to her problems. I desperately want her to feel safe and loved. Please pray for her. Her name is Britney. Your writing is brilliant, Edie!
Edie Wadsworth says
Bless you for loving so well, Andrea.
Praying for Britney.
So much love.
xoxo
Nanc;y says
Oh edie, how true these words are!! Thank you so much for writing them and sharing with us.
I have a new friend Cheri who needs our prayers. She is facing eventual blindness… her doctor has been honest and says it will happen in the next couple of years. She has already been through a lot physically and now her college daughter is on the verge of mental illness. So many things and yet she strives to be so positive each and every day.
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Heidi says
Hi Edie…I know I’m a few days late to the party on this post but I’m just now deciding to write. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to ask for prayer for myself. I need it and I believe our Lord wants us to call His name, especially as group (Matthew 18:20).
I’ve 40 years old and battling breast cancer for the third time. I was 36 when I was first diagnosed with stage 0-noninvasive(very early) ER/PR positive BC. I had no family history and my BRCA gene was negative. I had two lumpectomies on the tumor in my breast and margins were still positive. So I elected to do a double mastectomy (which gave me clear margins) thinking that BC would be a thing of the past for me and my sweet family. In August of last year I felt a lump (on top of my implant). A PET revealed two tumors in my breast and it had spread to my lymph nodes and I had 3 tumors on my liver. My cancer was now HER2+, a more aggressive breast cancer. We were heartbroken, scared and pleading with our Lord to save my life (our son was 13 at the time) . I did nine grueling chemo treatments and finally came up with a clean PET! Nothing short of a miracle! I had 7 glorious months of loving life, traveling, enjoying the simple things (cancer makes you REALLY appreciate things most of us hardly take notice of). I still did infusions of maintenance drugs every three weeks to keep the HER2 inactive. My hair was just starting to get a cute little pixie going (yours is adorable btw!) when I found out on Mon, Sapt. 8 that a small tumor was found on my newest PET -on my liver again, same area. Talk about having the wind knocked out of you. We were blindsided by the news. I always suspected that I’d have to deal with chemo again at some point but just couldn’t believe I was going to have to go through it again so soon. I’ve never, ever been mad at our Lord for allowing me to get cancer. None of this surprised Him. He has comforted us when we’ve needed it most. We feel His loving arms holding us tight as we grapple with this newest diagnosis. We are blessed with great healthcare and to be so close to ATL. I’m a patient at EMORY-Winship Cancer Center. Couldn’t ask for better Dr.s or care. Our church has many a prayer warrior lifting me up. Our Bible Fellowship class has been outstanding. We have meals set up. Our family all live close and we have so much support through them. Facebook has been such a blessing, as it’s a vehicle through which the word has spread to pray. All of this has been a blessing. We’ve seen SO MANY GOOD THINGS. Love has been poured all over us. We are blanketed with encouragent and tender words. That doesn’t keep me from wanting to be HEALED COMPLETELY. I want to LIVE. I want to be an even bigger miracle. I want to tell the world hoe HE healed me!! However, I know His will must be done. Would you all please pray for ABSOLUTE healing from this cancer once and for all?? I’ve already had the first chemo for this newest tumor on Sept. 9th and am set to go for my next treatment on THIS Tues. Sept. 30th. I can deal with the sickness, weakness and pain that comes with chemo (kind of a pro at it by now) I just want to be cancer free. The hardest and easiest thing to accept throughout all of this is that, I have no control. We cannot do anything except pray for healing and do the treatments.
Thank you so much for “opening up the floor” for those of us who need a healing touch.
Sincerely,
Heidi in Gainesville, GA
Edie Wadsworth says
Sweet Heidi,
I’m sitting here in tears as I read your story. So heartbreaking I can hardly stand it. We so stand with you, we pray with you and for you that God would heal you and give you the precious gift of life and health and most of all we trust that the Father who loves us all and holds this all in His tender care will be your strength and rock. You will be on my heart and in my prayers. I’m writing your name down in my journal today to remember to pray, though I wish I could love on you in person with some soup and bread and hugs.
Sending all my love,
edie
Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.
Merciful Father, You know how difficult these days are for me. In Your holy Word, You have promised to hear those who cry unto You in the day of trouble. Listen to my cries for mercy and send help from the sanctuary of Your grace.
Preserve me from bitterness of spirit, and rescue me from every temptation to despair. Calm my frustrations with the knowledge that my life is secure in Your redeeming love, for I am baptized into the death and resurrection of Your Son. Draw me out of self centered worry, which stifles faith, and cause me to take comfort in the Gospel. Sustain and strengthen me under every cross and affliction, that Your grace might be made perfect in my weakness.
Give me confidence to pray without losing heart and to trust in Your mighty deliverance according to Your good and gracious will.
Father, into Your hands I commend myself. Hear me, for the sake of Your Son, who alone is my Brother and Savior.
Heidi Ferguson says
Thank you so much Edie! I truly appreciate your prayers and all of those that read this! I’ve printed off your prayer in a nice font in Pic Monkey and will be placing it by my bed as I recover from my chemo (that I go get tomorrow). I will of great comfort every time I look over (in my chemo induced daze-LOL)! Thank you again!
Love,
Heidi Ferguson
(browneyedgirlygirl) on Instagram
(the blog hasn’t been updated in forever-I’m a total slacker!)
Elaine says
Dearest Edie
I sat to read my bible this morning (something fairly new for me, but I am trying daily) . I just can’t seem find a good study guide. I was on your blog last night and remembered seeing ‘faith’ and I went to it. Thank you thank you for all you do with your writing everyday. I needed this more than I thought.
My cousin needs extra prayers right now- her name is Julie.
Thank you!
Hugs
Elaine
Marianne says
I am loosing my faith.
Can you pray for me?
God seems to be absent from my life these days.
I used to hear him frequently.
What am I doing wrong?
It seems nothing in my life is working.
All my decisions seem to be wrong!
I’m lost…..
Kathryn says
Not sure if you’re still reading these, but if so, please pray I’ll be wise
enough and brave enough and humble enough to believe and trust The Lord. That the Spirit will convict and draw and convince me daily. That I won’t be deceived. Thank you.
Start says
I’ve got a big stack of books going right now but I just had the library pull it and hold it for me! I loved The Last Sin Eater by Francine Rivers and Greene’s book sondus like a similar setting/culture. Thanks for the tip and what FUN to share a meal with a real, live author!
http://www.feedinghelp.info/ says
Alright alright alright that’s exactly what I needed!
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Patrice says
I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your home but I admit I was also surprised that you never mentioned the cause. Not for the reason of just retribution or any such nonsense. I simply wondered if, considering it was Christmastime, perhaps lights on a dry Christmas tree may have caused it? Or a forgotten candle? Or a faulty extension cord? I say this thinking that if just one house fire could be prevented by you explaining the source, it might be worthwhile to share. Thank you.