“Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself.” ~William Martin
We sit back to back in the workroom, working separately but together. She’s writing a summary of the early Renaissance for her online history class and I’m eating oatmeal with honey and bacon, finishing up some loose ends of Chapter 1 that I ALMOST finished this weekend. She asks a few questions, but mostly we work in quiet, letting the fullness of morning kiss us with its filtered light. The psalm for the day is still twirling in my head, “Behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers (or sisters) dwell in unity.” (Psalm 133)
On the best days, I write a portion of the psalm down and revisit it during the day.
The sliding door in the kitchen is open and even from two rooms away, I almost need a jacket. I’m fighting with every ounce of discipline not to leave my work behind and go start a fire on the back porch and read a novel and she’s antsy to take a break too. Maybe once my work is done? I decide to quickly strip my bed because Monday is always a good day for washing sheets. She belts out Les Mis from the other room while I think, wow, what a pretty voice and what 12 year old knows all the words to every song from Les Mis? This one is a humdinger and she’s pretty fun to hang out with all day. Good and pleasant, yes.
For those of you new-ish around here, I quit my job 8 years ago as a family doctor because the lives of my troops were too complicated to run from my office. It changed everything about everything, most of it good—a plow of sorts for the soil of the soul. Then, I homeschooled my youngest two girls for 5 years, which was more like a large and angry tiller that found every hard place in me and ground it to nearly nothing. Which turns out to be God’s favorite place to start some good work in you. To give you a flavor of those years, I wrote posts titled Why We (almost) Gave Up Homeschooling, Why I’m Still Homeschooling, and Why I Finally Gave Up Homeschooling. As you can see, I was always so sure of myself.
A year after we did finally give up homeschooling (at least for a time), I got a book deal which all sounds fine and dandy until you realize that they actually want you to now WRITE THE BOOK. Cue all the comparisons of writing a book to childbirth, like pica and weight gain and total freak out sessions where you doubt your ability to do what now must be done. Two months after that, my youngest wanted to homeschool again. Her sister was happy to go back to *real* school and though they were both flourishing, we gave them the wiggle room to make their own choice. The youngest may have said something profound like, Mom, this could be our last year together because then I’ll be in high school. I was putty in her hands. They’ve been raised like twins, so close in age, and it seemed like they needed to walk their own distinct paths for a while. I was overwhelmed to say the least, but it’s been good. They’re both in 8th grade and Emme is at a Classical Christian school while Elea is taking Latin, Prealgebra, Astronomy, and Renaissance History from Classical Learning Resource Center online. We’re doing literature together along with whatever else we can fit in, which for now hasn’t been much else. Her classes are intense but SO GOOD, almost like college classes. We miss Emme but we’re adjusting to this new season, which may be short but that’s okay.
There’s a desk in our guest room downstairs that she loves so sometimes she works down there in the afternoons while I start dinner.
So we spend our days together and separate. She’s increased the cultural ethos around here 200% by her classical music that’s always playing in the background or her mastery of the soundtrack to Les Mis, which she sings at full voice in fits and starts throughout the day. We meet up together to read To Kill a Mockingbird aloud at lunch but mostly we just do our work, alone but together. She studies and reads and does Latin and I cook and and do laundry and write. So many strings of so many ordinary days, piled up in a stack like the dishes.
It’s given me a new reason to love homeschooling, namely that I’m not really doing much but making myself available to her. It’s given me some cherished long days with my girl and I’ve been a mom long enough to know that whether you’re paying attention or not, the years have a way of sneaking out the back door. It’s also grounded me again, literally and figuratively. I’m home most all day everyday. That happens to be good for me, though if given to my own natural leanings, I’d flit around town to and fro like a hummingbird looking for sugar water. It’s sneaky how much more I get done when I’m home. Turns out, 12 year olds are good to have around when you’ve got a huge project to do that involves you sitting in your chair all day.
We take breaks to go outside and hit the volleyball around. We take breaks to watch funny you tube videos. We take a lot of breaks, but all in all, we work hard.
As a matter of fact, sometimes I think the discipline to write at all came from those years at home with my girls. I thought I was teaching them but they were teaching me the discipline of doing difficult work over a long period that no one sees or appreciates. It was perfect life training for us all. Hard but good. And now she’s home again and we’re finding our way, our new ordinary.
As far as the book goes, I hit the 40,000 word mark this weekend and I regret not opening some champagne to celebrate. I spent most of Saturday down in the craft/guest room totally immersed in writing. It was one of those magical days where the words came from that other place and I just obeyed and transcribed what I heard as fast as I could type. Most writing days are filled way more angst than that so I’m always happy to the point of tears when it flows like rainwater down a gulley. A book is a crazy thing and starts to take on a life of its own. It can feel like trying to hold 100 pounds of jello in your hands, but some days I can glimpse it’s form and so I press on, despite the fact that it feels like an impossible undertaking.
I totally reworked my first attempt at Chapter 1 and am so much happier with how the book will open. The opening of any book is so important so who knows how many more times it’ll be fiddled with. I keep thinking of you and hoping you’ll like it.
So, here we sit back to back listening to the dogs bark and the laundry spin, talking about lunch. Should we make paninis? Regular sammies? Leftovers? Someday I know I’ll miss the ordinariness of it all. Someday, I’ll remember it as special.
Today, it’s just us doing our work but I’m glad I wrote it down. And I hope I’m teaching her the wonder of ordinary days. If nothing else, I think that’s what she’s teaching me.
I’ll be around in the comments later if you wanna talk homeschooling. I’m no expert but I might be able to point you in a good direction. I’ll list some more homeschooling resources later as well!
Happy Ordinary Monday!
Oh I love this!! Thank you so much over and over again for such encouraging words that always fill me with a sense of peace. As a mother of three small boys, this gives me such joy and sense of fulfillment in the ordinary and simple passing day. Can’t wait for your book!
Bless you, Jessica!
xoxo
Up North, we wear our fleecy jackets in the morning, cozied around a cup of tea, feast on The Word, and find our way. Kindergarten, Fifth grade, Middle School, High School and their momma soon to gather at lunch, we’ll practice prepositions. breathe free, and pray hard. Latin, laundry, supper, literature, barn chores, garden,memory work, geography, we work diligent and true til the day’s calling is complete. Ordinary stuff knitting us together and making something meaningful of our days. Joy to you Edie, and to your family, as you live and dwell and work and love.
xoxo
I would LOVE to spend a day in your homeschool, Laura!!
Mucho love to you, friend.
xoxo
ordinary Mondays are the BEST Mondays!!!
I so agree!!
Oh, Edie. Your writing always touches me! I find myself welling up as I read this swee blog. I can hear the clothes tumbling and feel the crispness that’s coming in the back door. I’m now an empty nester with small grandkids. Blogs like this make me long to chuck it all and have them home with me.
I was at a management retreat with my husband this weekend. The guest speaker was talking about “life’s purpose.” I kept saying in my head, “find the next person in front of you and meet their need.”
Looking forward to the book!
Kelly
I shudder to think of it but I know it’ll be right when it gets here.
Sending you love!
Awesome- love the William Martin quote too! Today my 5th grader (public school) is home recovering from a stomach bug. I’m a music teacher at our church and we have spent part of the morning working on the script for our Christmas program- so fun- she had so many creative ideas! I’m anticipating a few episodes of Cake Boss is on our afternoon agenda. Lots of precious ordinary moments.
Sounds pretty perfect!! I hate to say it but I always loved sick days if they weren’t too sick!!
🙂
Such a beautiful post- perfection- brought me to tears. Homeschooling 2nd and 6th grade, so many ordinary days that seem to go on forever but then are gone in a blink! Thank you for reminding me of the beauty in the ordinary.
🙂
Edie, I so wish I could go back 18 or so years and relive those sweet times with my girl. But I’m so blessed to be close to her now and my 3 beautiful grands. Life has a way of almost leaving us behind, but I’m trying to keep up the best I can. God is faithful and restores the years the locust ate away! Enjoy your beautiful life and thank you for blessing us with your wonderful “ordinary days”. 🙂
Yes, He does Cindy!!
Much love to you and your grands!!
I love ordinary days and love writing about them. Your description is like my life right now in many ways. Writing, getting all that house stuff done, homeschooling my sixth grader, plugging away at college prep with my 17 yo, one in college, one just home from an internship and looking for his place in the world. My special needs daughter needing all our attention and love. Making life fun and colorful and full.
And your psalm for the day? I am scanning my walls at this moment looking for the best place to paint those lovely words 🙂
Bless you Lisa!
I use an app for my devotions called PrayNow and I LOVE IT!!
It has a psalm, OT reading and NT reading for each day and follows the church year.
So good!
Hi Edie,
It’s wonderful to hear that both of your girls are doing well on their own paths. I started re-listening to your podcast series today and you mentioned in an episode that you will have an app soon. Did I miss a post on that? Sounds fun! 🙂
Best of luck with your writing journey.
Yes, it’s in the app store! We are still working on a few small glitches but it’s pretty awesome!!
Just search lifeingrace and it should come up!
I’m in my 7th year of homeschooling and just sent my oldest (also 8th grade) back to “real school” this year … also at a classical Christian school! Anyway, that leaves me with my youngest, who is in 4th grade. I’m loving this time alone with him. Thank you for your generous spirit and wonderful writing!
So wonderful, Anne!
Enjoy!!
Oh Edie. This post was so well timed. I have my oldest in kindergarten at a public school, my middle at a Christian preschool, and my youngest toddling around my feet all day. I have been searching my heart about homeschooling. I want to do it. My oldest wants to do it. Can I ask you…do you recommend a particular beginner curriculum? Also do you recommend starting two kiddos at once when you have NO experience whatsoever? I’m nervous! Would love any ideas you can share to make this seem like a less daunting task! Can’t wait for your book. Your writing is like a breath of fresh air!
We just began our 5th year of homeschooling…I have 3 boys, ages 12, 9, 5 and a little girl who is almost 2. Homeschooling can seem so overwhelming! I am not a homeschooling expert by any means, but I can say that starting out slowly and reading aloud A LOT would be two pieces of advice I would give to new homeschoolers! We also do a program called Classical Conversations….with lots of memory work! Find a homeschool support group to be encouraged by other moms who live near you….they are a wealth of information on lots of topics!!!
I know, it seems SO overwhelming. I would start with the web site The Circe Institute and watch a bunch of their videos. Susan Wise Bauer’s book The Well Trained Mind and then see what’s available in your area for homeschool groups. We never joined one but I do think it can help when you’re first getting started. My biggest advice is to only do it if your husband is really on board because he’s gonna have to be your support and cheerleader on the hard days. Also, I think if you read great classic books aloud to them all day, that’d probably be enough!!
I’m in tears reading this. It’s so true. All of it. The days are so fleeting yet ordinary. We are in our second year of homeschooling and I agree it has made me grow in ways I never thought possible. What a gift these long ordinary days are and what a gift your writing is.
Love right back to you!!
So glad you are writing a book, I love your writings on each post. I don’t have children but I can certainly appreciate all your life experiences. Don’t ever doubt what a great writer you are and how God uses you through your words. Blessings to you and yours.
Thank you for that sweetness!!
Loved this. Just wanted to share that you inspired me to homeschool—to pull our son out of a coveted Classical charter school, begin a love-hate relationship with S. Wise-Bauer, and, to some degree, create this beautiful family culture of learning at home. So lest you think your days are ordinary, they sparked this family on a journey we wouldn’t trade for the world. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing that, Nicole. I do highly recommend it but I always feel like it should come with a warning that this is the gonna be one of the hardest things you ever do!
xoxo
“I thought I was teaching them but they were teaching me the discipline of doing difficult work over a long period that no one sees or appreciates. It was perfect life training for us all. Hard but good.” These words have filled my near-empty cup this afternoon, Edie. Thank you for sending them out into the world. I am in my 5th year of homeschooling, and this is the first year I have all four littles to teach: a preschooler, twin 2nd graders, and a 4th grader. It is HARD. SO HARD. I have so little time for anything besides teaching in my days. But this I call to mind: I know this is God’s purpose for me right now. I know this is the work He has prepared my hands to do. There are many blessings in homeschooling, yes, but it is work… I often catch myself wondering what my life would be like if I had chosen a different path for them. I would have so much time! My bathrooms would be clean and I would be refreshed and relaxed, greeting them with cookies and a joyful spirit when they hopped off the bus! I know this is sort of silly, but it’s so easy for me to be tempted by these assumptions. I am encouraged by the way you described homeschooling. I’m encouraged today to see the fruit you are experiencing in your life and the lives of your family. Thanks for sharing, thanks for encouraging, thanks for praying.
Thank you for your lovely words and sharing your days with us. I am in awe of your honesty and your amazing gift for sharing what is in your heart. Thank you for the inspiration! Your post today is like a huge hug from a soft, loving grandmother. (:
Mucho love!!!
i sent my oldest off to school for the first time every, also last, it is her senior year. she is LOVING it! i have a feeling my next oldest (14) will be attending next year and maybe soon the others will join her. i’m so torn right now and praying god will give me a peace and direction. i’m feeling led to get back in the classroom (there are so many kids there who need good teachers) and at the same time torn up about not giving my littles the same amount of home time i did my olders. we will see what takes place over the next year. each season brings new adventures!
You have given your kids so much of your beautiful self, Melissa!! I’m so happy your oldest is loving it and I know you’ll know what the right answer is.
MISS YOU!!
xoxo
I am home with my 2 littles – 2 years and 3 months old while my two teens are in school during the day. I needed to hear this today – because I am also grounded at home and at times it can be lonely. This was the refreshment I needed as I develop this new norm with little ones again!
Yes, it can, Tessa! Make sure you’re feeding your soul with friendships too!
Playdates are great for that!
🙂
That brought tears to my eyes– so beautiful! I, too, left my job (as a teacher) to stay home with my babies– now toddlers. This makes me want to home school, but only if I can be as classy (& a deep-thinker) as you! I want my kids to have a classical education with lots of good literature, history, etc… I have always loved your posts on homeschooling and love how you have given your daughters such a rich education. They will be well-prepared for college and their future occupations!
Well, you would be great at it, Kimberly!!
Edie…I’ve struggled with that quote you began with for some time.
You see I have my own saying, “Why be ordinary when you can be extraordinary.” Sometimes I end it with a question mark.
As I read “your” quote again today…I think I came to grips with what bothered me before.
Some of us are extraordinary…. We purposely fill our lives with beauty, purpose, and work at relationships. To be extraordinary is doing the ordinary things well….joyfully, purposely. It’s seeing that really there are no ordinary things. (Is anything created by God ordinary??) It isn’t letting the days flit by letting whatever happens happen. [sigh] The extraordinary doesn’t take care of itself…it comes through living life beautifully and by HIS hand..
Well…I hope you don’t mind that I just worked out something in your comments. 😉
Enjoy and treasure this special time of writing and learning side by side with your sweetie pie. And keep being extraordinary. ‘Cause you most certainly are!!! [hugs]
Yes!! I love that interpretation!
🙂
So beautiful Edie! You are an amazing writer. Keep on keeping on!!
Awwww, thank you so much!
xoxo
I love that your daughter listens to classical music. Just wondering … what are some of her favourites? I have a 12 year old as well and I try to have classical playing in the house, and am always looking to expand the music selections.
We have a mix of classical music that we’ve downloaded over the years on a playlist, mostly Bach and Mozart.
🙂
I did wonder. Thanks for sharing.
Now I want to know how to pronounce your daughter’s name. Elea is such a pretty looking name.
Just like Ellie, but spelled like that because it’s shortened from Eleanor!
I love these ordinary days and I think I’m going to make a post of my own so that I don’t forget now great they really are!!! 🙂 Thank you for living yours and sharing them with us.
OH, you should!!
xoxo
wonderful put up, very informative. I ponder why the other specialists of this sector don’t notice this.
You should proceed your writing. I’m sure, you have a great readers’
base already!
I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious
what all is required to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like
yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet savvy so I’m not 100%
certain. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation however I in finding this topic to be really one thing that I think I would
never understand. It sort of feels too complicated and extremely large for me.
I am having a look forward on your subsequent submit, I will try to get the cling of it!
Thank you for the words that brought tears to my eyes this morning… you see I’m a challenged Mom wanting to do the right thing for my kids and some how make it the right thing for me too. This is our second year of homeschooling. My daughter is in 7th grade almost 13 and some days our work together is amazing we flow so well and others it seems a challenge. She is changing and growing reading your words reminded me that I need to embrace the ordinary days as well they are so very special…
I love visiting your blog , visiting it is like going to a friends house to have a chat it really makes my day
Cathie
Makes my day.
🙂
Edie, please move to Montana right away and be my neighbor. Though I’m creeping up on Little Old Ladyhood, I think I’m still fun, and I like to think, goof off and talk about much of what you share here. Let me know when you’re arriving, I’ll put on the kettle.
Sounds dreamy!!
Such a great post, as always, Edie! I want to print out and pin that William Martin quote all around my house. The best memories of my life are little things. In the big moments, I always think, “Wow, we are going to remember this moment forever.” But we don’t. I remember the way my grandparent’s house in Austin smelled. The sound of the birds as we ate breakfast. The sound of old records on their console at Christmas. Those little moments are the blood running through my veins. So glad you stopped to look around and share your moment, and remind us to do so as well. Thank you!
Yes!!!
xoxo
LOVED this post. I’m busy homeschooling two 2nd graders (twins) and I have a 4 year old and a baby on the way. And I just got signed with a literary agent. I know, I’m nuts, but feel God’s peace that all of this is what I should be doing and now is the time. I’m just not doing much else. Glad to read about the rhythm of your days. (And look forward to my kids being more independent in their work, but cherishing these ordinary days too.)
SO awesome Danielle!!!
Are you working on a proposal?
🙂
Ok, I know homeschooling and ordinary days are important life changing topics but……….you put bacon in your oatmeal!! Now that is life changing. Lol
Kinda to the side but still SO GOOD!!
Wow, you captured it. I know your book is going to be amazing because I just wanted your post to keep going! Actually, that is half-true. I wanted to hear more. But, I also wanted it to stop so I could let your words soak in! You have some very profound thoughts, and the ability to articulate them as a bird naturally sings its song (that was my attempt at being poetic :)! As a fellow-blogger, I am feeling both inspired and bad about myself at the same time! Ha! Thank you for capturing the beauty of the ordinary day – it is truly a gift. These days, with our children at home, are the best days… xo
I always love a good homeschooling post! I am new to homeschooling–Classical Conversations with my little girls. I quit teaching to homeschool and I know it’s the right decision for our family. I have the awesome, yet humbling task of discipling my children–praying that they come to know Him soon and serve Him always to better the body of Christ. I don’t typically comment, but I love your blog. You are such a gifted writer, decorator, blogger…you’re good at it all! 🙂
Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after browsing through some of the
post I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely glad I found it and
I’ll be bookmarking and checking back frequently!
Love this! Amazing that in such a busy season of your life, you can still live a life of ordinary. I have been craving simplicity lately. Your words are such an encouragement!
🙂
Oh Edie…..thank you for this post today. My heart has been heavy….I crave a simpler life in a smaller space with less focus on stuff and possibly me getting to spend more quality time with my children when we aren’t so worried about working so much to earn more money to pay for all this stuff. I have taken the first step of booking a home showing tomorrow to look at a much smaller home for sale in the hopes that it gives me and my husband the courage to do this……to hear your story….or a reminder of it….how you focused on your family and not the need to make more money…… well, thank you. I needed to read it. I hope to enjoy more ordinary days with my children ……. soon
Beautiful and inspiring.
Bless you, Andrea.
xoxo
Thank you, Edie once again for bringing me to tears with your beautiful way with words. I love ordinary days. I had an unexpected day off from my part-time job this morning. Spent my time praying, folding laundry, cleaning, and in the Word until my 3 littles got off the elementary bus. Then we simply did homework and I made a pot of your fabulous Tortellini Soup. Thank you for that! My husband came home and said how much he loves days when I am home. The house is so inviting, clean, kids content, and yummy smells from the kitchen. My heart swelled.
Wonderful day!!
Thank you for reminding me of the magic of the ordinary day! It’s so easy to just feel busy and bogged down. Would you tell a little about William Martin? I’ve never heard of him but love the quote you included. Thank you!
How I wish I could just meet you for coffee! My daughter, now a junior, was in a classical school until part of 7th grade and then homeschooled for the remainder of that year and eighth grade. She has been at the local public high school since eighth grade. She just told me this morning that she wanted to be homeschooled again! What process did you go through with your daughter when she wanted to return to homeschooling? I know that the junior year is the most stressful and how do I know whether she can truly handle the 5 AP classes she is currently taking with her epilepsy or if it would be wise to allow her to go back to homeschooling? When should I make her “stick it out” in an effort to teach her not to quit hard things. Would love any advice and prayers!
Thanks,
Cheryl
Hi Edie! I just love reading your blog. It’s one of the few I return to over and over and I am inspired each time. I wish I had home-schooled my kids – I think there are so many things they aren’t getting in their public school, but the time is past now (mostly, tho I do have a 12-year old daughter, like you).
I have a question which doesn’t have much to do with the subject of today’s post, however. I just love the duvet cover/coverlet you have folded across the guest room bed – can you give me an idea of your source? I’m looking for something similar…
Thank you!
Bev in Austin
I. Loved. This.
We have just recently moved from KY to TN. Left all family and friends back home. I’ve just begun this homeschooling journey with my 6 yo and 4 up with my 2.5 yo Ali g for the ride. My husban has bought his own business…new home…new city…new state… So much going on! But, my heart of hearts and lots of prayer time lead me to this homeschool adventure. It’s quite overwhelming now, but I know it will work out. This post helped me to see a glimpse in the future. Thank you so much Edie for sharing.
This is just precious Edie. I am so happy for you!
I am looking forward to your book too. Thank you for sharing the process.
Thanks for sharing, Edie! As we started year 3 of our homeschool journey this year, I’m so encouraged to see that your precious 8th grade daughter asked you to do it again. I also appreciate the gentle reminder to enjoy the everyday. I can’t wait to read the book!
Like most other posters I really draw inspiration from your posts. I have been reading your blog for years and really liked it though never commented. I’m not sure how I stumbled on this blog but after reading some of your posts about the fire I felt drawn here & check back almost weekly. I really related as we lost our 1883 Italianate after many years if renovation, our vehicles and our cats to arson in 2009. Last November after our youngest (3 years old) needed another surgery we were thrown into the homeschool world after pulling our older daughter from private school to pay for the surgery. We are trying to do classical type model. I still feel like I have still not completely found my footing. My oldest is in 3rd and I really found your older posts helpful (comments under the posts too). She was born @ 23 weeks 6 days and in the last few years processing issues have popped up. Your honesty in you blog has really helped me see that it might feel like a struggle now but will all come together (maybe not neatly sometimes) and to just keep working at it. This year what I found helpful to get my daughter so enrichment was a co-op for the arts. She learns traditional art and also things like art through geography. Thank you again for your wonderful post.
Bless you and that girl of yours.
Hang in there. Sounds like you’re doing a great job!
xoxo
Ah…Edie. I had a feeling. 😉 I wondered last year, if one or both of your girls may want to go back home – after all, you set the first example {I love your story}. As one who home educated all four of mine, birth to graduation, I applaud your openness to follow the leading of His grace. Blessings!
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