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31 Days of Hospitality::Day 15 All they really need is you

by 62 Comments

This is day 18 in a 31 day series on hospitality.   Start from the beginning here.

There’s no doubt that I love beautiful spaces.  When we surround ourselves with truth and beauty, it changes us.

It brings me joy to create spaces that make people feel loved.   I am purposeful about making a home that is  joyful and whimsical and even sultry.

But when I’m making these rooms for my family and friends, it’s easy to forget what’s really important.

What they really need is me.

And there’s no substitute for that–no amount of money or gadgets or gifts or beautiful rooms.

My children don’t really care about their vintage iron beds.

But they need a mother who really listens and who treats them with kindness and understanding.

My husband could care less about our custom upholstered antique sofa.  But he does need a wife who  loves and respects him.

We must repeatedly ask ourselves, “Does this help me serve my family and friends?”

Why are we doing what we do?   To serve others or impress them.

Do I want my guests to be wowed by my impeccable hospitality or do I really want to offer my heart to them?

Absolutely none of this matters unless it helps us give ourselves away to others.

It’s the Mary/Martha conundrum.

Mary chose the better part.

She chose relationship.

And so should we.

Know what the people in your life really need you to give to them?

Yourself.

Your time and love and your willingness to open your heart.

All they really need is you.

Hospitality is just that simple.

 

 

 

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Gina says

    So so true Edie. Love the reference to Mary and Martha. We can learn so much from that passage of Scripture. We think things will make us happy but serving others is where happiness lies. Still loving the series!! 🙂

    Reply

  2. Ruth says

    Such simple truth, yet we still fall short. Working on establishing stronger relationships with those who really matter in my life.
    We should ask ourselves this question everyday
    “Why are we doing what we do?   To serve others or impress them.”
    How much would our day to day lives change if we did.
    Ruth

    Reply

  4. Christie says

    I just love the Mary and Martha scriptures. The Lord used so few words in teaching them and us. I’m trying to follow His example by speaking less at my kids, but being more present and listening to them instead.

    Reply

  7. Claire says

    This was a much needed reminder today.
    My own “31 Day challenge” is stressing me out and that’s just silly!
    Tomorrow is a new day.
    Beautiful post, thank you!
    Claire

    Reply

  8. ~Karrilee~ says

    Amen!!! I love this… as much as I love the art of ‘home’ and creating and maintaining an atmosphere of ‘welcome’ – it is the heart to heart connections that are of the highest calling and the most value! Thanks for reminding us!

    Reply

  9. Lisa says

    So true. Love your thoughts on hospitality. My mother grew up in a very humble farmhouse in Ireland, and she always told me, don’t apologize to your guests for your home not being perfect, their accommodations not being more luxurious. Throw your front door open, welcome them in, make them some tea and sit and enjoy their company. It doesn’t matter how modest your house is. A pretty, clean home is lovely but all someone really cares about is how they FEEL when they’re in your home (including the people that live there :).

    Reply

  14. andrea says

    well put! I struggle with this often. I LOVE working in my home (don’t we all? that’s why most of us blog, anyhow!), tweaking it, making it special and pretty, creating wonderful meals (which, btw, I made your divine chipotle pumpkin soup last night-yum!). One day, my daughter asked, in a negative tone, why I did all this. I asked her, don’t you like it? She shrugged her shoulders. She really doesn’t care about my new fabulous curtains, or the screaming deal I got on the antique dresser. She wants her Mom to play with her, watch movies with her, swing on the swingset and run in the yard. It’s a balance, and one that can be hard. I also realize, that I mostly do all this ‘homemaking’ stuff for me. I love it, and enjoy it, and it makes me feel good. If we, as Mom’s and hostesses, aren’t happy, then it will show to our family and guests. I just have to remember that my number one importance in life is my children, and give them more care, attention and fluffing than I give to my home.

    Reply

  15. Ashly says

    I’m just catching up on your 31 days series. Day #9 {on marriage} has brought me to my knees…. I linked your blog to my post today- THANK YOU for your real words and encouragement! Blessings ~A

    Reply

  16. Alison says

    In my quest to answer the question, “What makes people stop looking at your house and enjoy being with you in your house?”, I learned a valuable lesson from a friend years ago. Whenever a guest arrived at her home, as soon as they walked through the door, she stopped EVERYTHING, looked the guest straight in the eyes and said, “Welcome…I am SO glad that you are here!” It seems so simple but when she did that…I felt so special. Her house wasn’t spectacular and her meals were simple but that “welcome” made me want to never leave! I have made it a practice to do the same thing in my own home for over 15 years :).

    Reply

  17. laura@libertyfarmchronicles says

    Read this post before I finally crept into my own bed last night, and before I let sleep work its magic, I finished off this great book I’m reading…
    In light of your Day 15 post the quote below spoke volumes.
    “Believe me, when a man has squandered his true joys,
    he’s as good as dead, I tell you, a living corpse.
    Pile up riches in your house as much as you like-
    live like a king with a huge show of pomp,
    but if real delight is missing from the lot,
    I wouldn’t give a wisp of smoke for it,
    not compared with joy.”
    Lines 1284 – 1290
    Spoken by the Messenger in Antigone
    Oh for eyes to see real delight and give thanks for the true JOY of family, of time together, – it is fleeting and a rare and beautiful treasure.

    Reply

  18. Geesha says

    I love your house!!! Just found your blog the other day…while looking for inspiration! Found out that you live in Bean Station, TN. I live in Rogersville, which is out your back door. Was wondering where you got your writing desk for you bedroom? Did you do your decorating yourself? Everything is just so beautiful…if you ever have a yard sale I am so there!!!

    Reply

  20. Jessica@SweatIsMySanity says

    So true. This post reminds me so much of why I don’t stay at a certain family members home when I go to Utah. While she’s totally welcoming, such a great hostess in so many ways, she is always so busy trying to make everything perfect and running around like mad that we are left just staring at their walls, so while they have a gorgeous, clean and comfortable home….we choose to stay with my brother who’s house is smaller, a little crammed, not really decorated, meals are usually on the fly….but thy give us their time and that’s all we really want. I will take this to heart and do better on my end too. I often spend my time in the kitchen and buzzing around when I have dinner guests that I don’t always give them as much time as I should. The dishes can always get done when they leave.

    Reply

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